To think his dc should be his priority

[inmyshoos]

So exh has (as I predicted) met someone else. I made the break, he was apparently heartbroken, devastated to be away from his kids etc. He moved out 4 months ago. In September he was messaging my friend telling her how gutted he was being separated from me and the kids. Then by the end of October he had become busy all the time, hardly having dc and always has 'made other plans'.
So I suspected he had met someone else which tbh I'm glad about, in so much as it gets him off my back and makes me feel less responsible for him (has been playing the victim card, all our friends feeling so sorry for him, which has been hard to take as he was not a great husband at all but that's another thread) So I'm glad he is moving on but now it's like he has no time for the dc. Been off work all week not seen kids since the visit on Christmas day and was supposed to have them from 11 tmrw but has just texted to say can I drop them at 1. I know it is because he wants to spend all his time with the new woman! Is this just normal? I can't imagine putting anyone before my kids let alone someone I've only know a few weeks. But my friend tells me they will be in that 'can't get enough of each other' stage. AIBU being pissed off at his lack of commitment to the kids or should I just suck it up and be glad he is moving on?

He sounds similar to my ex. Made no effort to see DD this Xmas but has told everyone who will listen I'm stopping him having her for Xmas. It has nothing to do with his and his new partner's new baby, obviously.

He might change. He probably won't. I tell myself DD is better off without him in her life if he doesn't. Not much else I can do really.

I just find that behaviour from a parent disgusting. But it is no surprise. He has always put his own needs first. Such a selfish bastard. We are better off without him for sure but seeing how quickly he can move on from his kids fills me with rage. Such amazing little beings who deserve far better!!!!

My ex did this, even to the point that I turned up with the kids at 1pm as arranged to find his new girlfriend in bed. Only real argument (other than the car seat one) we ever had. It's almost like they can't see beyond their penis and that woman's needs for longer than 30 minutes.

In our case it DID get better. I have had to pull him up once or twice since, but 8 years on he's never let the kids down on his custody arrangements.

Can you set something in stone now? So every other weekend, plus every Wednesday night or something? So he can't duck out of it, but equally everyone knows where they stand?

Disgusting yes. Surprising no. Your story is identical to mine 3 years ago, it continues now, nothing changes...except mine is now on woman 16! I can't stand to be parted from the dcs for more than a day, struggle to understand those that go months with NC

I have known women who have been the same, that proving they can have another relationship is more important than anything else.

His work doesn't allow for such fixed plans. And tbh the dc are not keen to go as he spends most of the time he has them doing 'workouts' and having long baths!!! Boils my piss!!!

YANBU to feel pissed off. Sadly there’s nothing much you can do to change him. Maybe worth going to court to get contact time formalised?

Oh I know women can do this kind of thing too but not this woman.
What makes it harder to swallow is the weeks of 'woe is me' and all our couple friends falling over him because they feel sorry for him. He's a selfish shit. Always has been. Thing is they'll all be thinking 'good for him moving on.' Now if it were me, if I met someone, you can bet the story would be different 'Oh I wonder how long she has been shagging him?' 'Oh now the truth is out' 'didn't take her long' .... honestly I could write the script myself.
Fwiw i would rather get a new puppy.....