To worry about kids going to a NYE party.

[1DAD2KIDS]

I have two kids 2 and 6. They are staying with my ex over new years. It was my understanding that they would be seeing it in at her mum's house. She has just text me saying that her and the kids have been invited to a party and would be staying over for the night at this house. When she has the kids they stay at her mum's house as the place she lives is unsuitable.

Now here is the problem. My ex is a compulsive lier and the people she hangs out with I don't nessersarly trust. She still lives as a lodger (apperently) with the bloke she left us for. He does drugs and is abusive to her. Most of her new friends are basicly his friends. So naturally I worry about the people she will be exposing our kids to. My self and her family know little about her current lifestyle because she is compulsive lier, thus hard to know what is the truth.

She said the kids will enjoy the party, I assume there will be other kids there. I don't want the kids to miss out on a good party and playing with new friends. They are her kids too and I haven't got a right per se to tell her what to do. However I do have a duty to protect their welfare. I can't really tell her no to be fair. But I do worry (naturally) about the people she may be exposing them to and the possibility of drugs being around. Of course they could be lovely people and no drugs. I can only go off the little bits I know of her life since splitting.

Would it be worth just doing a little more digging about the party to put my mind at ease?

Yes, really. When your children are with their other parent, that parent can bring them where they like and do what they like. You can do nothing about it.
How do you think you can stop them? Keep telling yourself "I wouldn't let it happen" but there wouldn't actually be a thing you could do about it.

OP knows this already.

I just wish she could be more trustworthy. I wish I didn't have to worry about her lifestyle or new freinds. But I love my kids and just don't always trust her judgement or the people who are strangers to me. I just wish I could 100% Trust her parenting.

I text to question if the party is appropriate for the kids and to ask about the others attending. No reply yet.

Well it's sorted it's self out. So I questioned if it would be suitable for youngest and about the people. Only questioned, didn't tell her. Anyway now the kids are going to stay with the pararents and she is going to the party alone.

She dropped it without any argument. I guess that's either because she respects my judgement over the kids or she diddnt really want to take the kids but needed an excuse not to? The main thing is Im happier the kids will be with their grandparents tonight.