To say you can't look after my LO?

[DazedDal678]

OH and I have a 6 month old baby boy and we're now in the process of figuring out his childcare once I return to work. MIL only works 2 days a week so she had kindly offered up the other 3 days as childcare for LO. However, MIL has a crazy, batshit dog who can't be allowed anywhere near LO unless he has a muzzle on or is on the lead. He's a very heavy dog and often paws at me and has scratched me before so I know how painful it can be when he tries to jump up at you. He has also killed birds in the garden before and has attacked another dog whilst out for a walk, has an aggressive temperament and has snapped at my LO behind the muzzle so I know without it would most certainly harm my baby.

The problem is, I have greatly expressed to both MIL/FIL that no way can the dog be anywhere near LO and has to be locked away as I can't relax when he's around. Over Christmas he was repeatedly bought out of his room (on a lead, I must say) into the room we were all in. If he's locked away, he whines and cries and breaks things so i think they believe it's easier to let him be on the lead as he's quiet. However I'm annoyed that this happened without my permission as I had expressed that I wanted him away and nowhere near the baby as I know what he's capable of. I'm now thinking I don't think I can have MIL look after my baby when I go back to work as she does not respect my wishes. This has happened a good 3 times, each time I've asked for the same thing to happen and every time he's been locked away for the first few hours then let out when they can't handle his whining anymore. I am conscious of the fact that all it takes is for one slip up and that's it. What do I do? She has already expressed that she doesn't think she will be able to have DS because of the dog but really wants to and she would do everything possible for him not to come to danger, but I don't believe her due to dog being let out before. Help!

There have been two many stories where seemingly happy, easy going dogs have suddenly snapped and terrible things have happened, sometimes deadly.

I could not let my DC spend any time in the situation you describe, especially if I weren't there. I literally could not do it.

Childminder or nursery. No brainer. I'm a dog person & believe most dogs/kids can be safe together...but this dog doesn't sound safe. I'd also be wary of offering MIL to mind at yours...could you guarantee that she wouldn't take DS back to hers?

As others have said, why can she come to yours? Even if its just for 1 day. At least you would save some money and she would get to look after her grandchild for a day.

Another thing to consider is that the dog may become resentful of your child - it could specifically associate your child with being locked away/alone, being muzzled/on a lead, generally having less attention etc. So when it hears or knows your child is in the house, it knows it’s about to be pushed in a room all day - it’s just a breeding ground for bad feelings. It won’t associate your child with happy thoughts, and as you say it has tried to nip your child before...

Also I don’t think you’ll be able to cope with the constant worry of your child’s safety when you’re not there

Regardless of the dog, three days a,week childcare as a favour is too much and is almost certain to lead to resentment. As others have said, make other arrangements.

Lalalonglegs. If a MIL offers three days a week (sure as this case) do you suggest that DG parents refuse this and suggest lesser number of days? Would this not create resentment from MIL?

Sounds like you can't trust her

Don't ever let her look after your child unsupervised. She'll let the dog into the room as soon as you're gone, and as the dog has already snapped at your child the results could be catastrophic.

She's said she doesn't think she can have your child because of her dog. So it's clear. Neither of you think it's a good idea for her to provide you with childminding.

Easy.

A half day or two at your house would be a good compromise if she's upset and wants to do childcare. (picking up your DC after lunch at nursery, this means you'll only have to pay half days but she can walk the dog in the morning without feeling she can't leave it for a whole day).

But if she understands, and isn't too upset, nursery or childminder would be best.

Radio - Imo, looking after someone else's child for three days a week for no money (or token payment) is too much especially if you are used to having a lot of time to yourself and especially if the parent is likely to want to impose certain rules on the way you look after the child. It wasn't something either my mother or MIL were able to offer but, if they had, I would have thought very carefully about the consequences of accepting their offer. Again, imo, it is far better to employ someone and keep it professional despite the costs. .

Not worth the risk

My DIL has a crazy dog that lives with her M who comes the my DS house every day to look after GD all works well. This is about how much you can trust MIL. Blckteadrinker77 sounds like a good plan.

I agree, not worth the risk. I was attacked by my grandparents' dog when I was a baby.

I think you need to have an honest discussion with your MIL as this really is not going to work. In addition to some babysitting at your home, if she were willing, do you think she might be agreeable to help out if your LO was unwell and not able to go to nursery (again at your home without dog)?

Can MiL come to yours to look after baby without dog? If not you’ll have to find alternative arrangements... the consequences are unthinkable if it were to go wrong at her house.