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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH flew home without us blowing £300

51 replies

Irishmummy · 28/12/2017 17:45

First time poster long time lurker. Over in Ireland spending Christmas with my family. The 4 of us due to fly back to Luton yesterday but our flight was cancelled. Rebooked for Sunday lunchtime. A bit annoying but family are happy for us to stay on. Husband was due back into work on Friday so booked himself on a flight to Heathrow today. He's got back home and his boss has texted to say he can have Friday off after all. Aibu as I think he should still go to work and not take the day as leave. I'm stuck trying to keep the kids amused while he chills at home for three days after blowing £30O.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 28/12/2017 17:50

Well yeah, if he's spent £300 to get home it'd make sense to go to work. But if he's got plenty of annual leave one day might not make any difference to him.

If he only found out about not needing to be at work once he was home/had paid for unrefundable tickets then he's done nothing wrong and maybe just fancies a nice chilled few days alone? It's not like he orchestrated it, it's just a by product of circumstances. Depending on his work he might have nothing to do at work or maybe his shift has been filled.

I'd be more mad at his boss than anything, changing last min work arrangements, though boss couldn't have known about the flight being cancelled so maybe they assumed he'd already be home either way or just doesn't know/care.

Wouldn't you jump at three days alone after the busy xmas period? YABU to be mad at him unless he won't get paid for not being at work and has an option to go and decides not to and puts you in financial difficulty.

I get feeling a big resentful but as it's not his fault I'd just wish him a lovely relaxing time!

LemonShark · 28/12/2017 17:52

Also he didn't exactly 'blow £300' on a games console or cocaine did he, he had to spend that to get home for his job, which may be in jeopardy if he doesn't show up! He didn't cause the original flight to be cancelled. Actually feel a bit sorry for him based on your attitude about this!

Beamur · 28/12/2017 17:52

That's a bit mean of you, he went home early for work but has since been told he doesn't need to go in. It's not his fault.

HappyAndRelaxed · 28/12/2017 17:52

Yab a bit U. He didn't know he was going to get the day off work. He only left early because he needed to be back for work.

rudolphslittlehelper · 28/12/2017 17:53

Refund on original flights and of course you will have travel insurance. You won't be out of pocket.

TheNaze73 · 28/12/2017 17:53

I think you may need to have a look at your priorities. Seems very unfair on him, for something that wasn’t his fault

TheSameCoin · 28/12/2017 17:55

You’re being very unfair. He didn’t blow it on some luxury item - he thought he needed to get home to go to work so he paid what was required to do that. As a conscientious person would. He’s hardly to blame for his boss changing his mind, is he?

PinkHeart5914 · 28/12/2017 17:56

If he was due in at work, he didn’t blow ‘£300’ as such it’s not like he bet on a horse or bought a Xbox!

Work have been the bastards her telling him just today he could have Friday off after all, I mean what a disorganised company! I get you might feel resentful because you have the dc but given he went home expecting to have to work I don’t really think I could be annoyed

JAMMFYesPlease · 28/12/2017 17:57

Wouldn't he be paid the same for a day of paid leave as he would a day at work? Or does he have an employer that allows annual leave to roll over the the next year? I'm confused at the difference paid leave or being in work would make to money.

But it's not like your OH did any of this on purpose so you're BU either way.

shakeyourcaboose · 28/12/2017 17:58

I thought from the title that he'd abandoned you all after blowing £300 gambling or drugs/alcohol- it suggests wilful bad behaviour.

Original poster
Irishmummy · 28/12/2017 17:59

You are probably all right. its just hard as he's been a huge pain all Christmas not really engaging with the kids or helping out and then it felt like he couldn't get away quick enough. I'm probably just jealous as we've been here over a week and I'd love to be home too. Thank you for talking me down before I speak to him!!

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 28/12/2017 17:59

He needed to get home for work, it's not his fault that his boss then decided he could have the day off.

So he didn't blow £300 at all.

Beamur · 28/12/2017 18:01

If he's been a huge pain, then enjoy this time away from him with your kids Smile

FoolandFitz · 28/12/2017 18:08

Did he check with work before he booked flights re: needing to work on Friday though? If not, then YANBU.

happypoobum · 28/12/2017 18:10

Did he actually speak to his boss before booking the £300 fare home? And boss said no , you have to be there, and then, as soon as he landed, boss changed his mind? Confused Really?

If any of my staff were stuck like this they would contact me and if I possibly could I would give them a day's annual leave/emergency unpaid leave.

Based on OPs comments about his lack of engagement I smell a rat.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/12/2017 18:10

It does sound like he just wanted to get away and the suspicious part of me would be wondering if he knew he wasnt in work before he booked the flight and just didnt tell you until he was home......

MrsT1984 · 28/12/2017 18:11

I was just thinking the same...

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/12/2017 18:11

x post!

Psychobabble123 · 28/12/2017 18:12

Me too happy....

Worriedrose · 28/12/2017 18:12

Sounds like drip feed
If you really weren't annoyed with your husband then you would feel annoyed with the £300 but generally happy for him
This is clearly not the case

Capelin · 28/12/2017 18:13

To be fair to DH, most people are probably keen to get away from their in laws after staying with them for a week. Just read the threads on here!!

Wishingandwaiting · 28/12/2017 18:15

Bloody hell OP, your marriage is not going to last the distance if you get bitter about this kind of turn of event!!

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2017 18:17

So you feel he should in some way be punished or not enjoy himself because you're stuck with your family.

Alrighty . That's reasonable. Not.

Branleuse · 28/12/2017 18:23

if i had to spend an extra 4 days with my partners family after already spending xmas with them, i think id lose the plot. He needed to get home for work. I dont really see what hes done wrong

Xmaspuddingdisaster · 28/12/2017 18:26

Of course he should go to work, his boss is saying it’s ok if he’s stuck in Ireland.

It doesn’t sound like he has that much stress to recover from, going by OP’s next post.

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