Premature baby gift

[kaytee87]

Friends baby was born at 27 weeks 4 weeks ago and is doing well in hospital.
We can't visit them but I'd like to send a parcel of gifts. Can anyone advise what to send? Is there any point in clothes when the baby is in an incubator?

If you can't do home cooked food what about a cook delivery- you can choose ready meals via their website and they can be easily frozen. People dropped meals round for us which were lovely

Ok, when my baby (almost 27 weeks) came out of the incubator he was about 3lb-ish.
ASDA do Preemie baby clothes but he was wearing clothes in the incubator as well for a good 3 weeks.
If you want 'nice' set of Preemie clothes then Jojo Maman Bebe do a lovely set online.
I also really appreciated a diary from my friends where I could jot down thoughts.
Hand cream and baby oil because she will be allowed to massage her baby soon (once he is off oxygen I think).

Bliss do lovely baby milestone cards.

Mine was born at 1lb 10oz and started wearing clothes at about 2lbs, they had to allow for wires.

I would've loved hand cream and facial cream as the neonatal unit is a horrible drying environment and all the hand washing and alcohol gel ruined my skin!

I believe M&S makes special vests which have a special flap for the wires.

Mothercare also do special prem clothes - the babygros have Velcro sides for wires. My little one was born at 33+4 and I really appreciated the few prem clothes we were given - everyone bought bigger sizes which took months to fit whilst we had very little that fitted when he was tiny.

You could also think about books. When our premmie was in NICU, I remember reading to him (Peace at Last by Jill Murphy if I recall). Obviously, he couldn't understand, but it meant he was hearing my voice and I felt like I was bonding a bit with a baby that couldn't be held much.

Got to go - that "baby" will be coming downstairs in a moment to get some help with his GCSE Maths...

It's been a while since I had my preemie and you couldn't buy clothes to allow for wires then - how lovely that they make them now. The hospital had a stash of clothes that people had knitted especially for them but I loved hats, blankets and teddies. He still has his first teddy and hat that we got from that time. Seconding the suggestion of food. Also books - both for reading to the baby (I'm convinced this helped mine) and also just to have for those long tense hours.

Daddaddad - mine is a great lanky teenager who is taller than me now!

My friend got me a memory box for my preemie which I loved. The charity bliss also do milestone cards which are based on premature baby experiences which I wish I’d have have when my baby was first born.

MrsDoyer - yep, grew ours from a 900g seed to taller than his mum in 15 years. He's not taller than me (yet!).

A large blanket would be great for covering during skin to skin or to cover the incubator, cuski miniboos are fab aswell.

DS2 was born at 35 weeks, but was a bit of a fraud as a prem as he was 6lb 13oz. The things we most treasured in the hospital (he was there for nearly 2 months because of a health problem) were his little cuddly toys and blankets. He had a lovely swaddle blanket from JojoMamanBebe which was great as he had to be kept swaddled to stop him pulling his tubes and wires out. He came out of his incubator after a couple of weeks and 'wore' his newborn babygros (off the shoulder to allow for wires) and it was nice to have him in his own clothes. Actually, I think he 'wore' them even when he was in the incubator. I agree with the poster who said it was nice to have 'normal' new baby things as what I most missed was feeling like I had a newborn baby at all (it was very odd). I also think books to read to baby is a lovely idea.

And also, if your friend would like, do try to go and visit when you can. I was so proud to show off my baby to the people who managed to come to the hospital.

There are lots of studies about how reading to prem babies can really help their development. I think a lovely classic childrens book for the parents to read to the baby would be a wonderful gift.

All these ideas are great. I don’t think you can go wrong OP.

You can also get special preemie baby books to record milestones and memories. I would have loved this and the sooner you can get it, the better.

Preemie clothes are good but stay fancy free. Sometimes they can go missing on wards

My first thought is that I actually hated the gifts which came after 3 or 4 weeks in hospital. To me it just smacked of “oh it’s ok to send a gift now, we didn’t sooner just-in-case”. May not have been logical or reasonable but in my state of mind at that time, that’s how it came across.

Fleece blankets rather than wool as they are easier to hit wash, which is necessary for preemie babies. Preemie outfits, but not ridiculous dresses or jeans, sleepsuits or vests are best.

And get a really nice, luxurious hand cream for mum. All that handwashing plays havoc with the hands in NNICU.

Coming out of the incubator has nothing to do with weight, it’s all about how well they are.

For my bf twins I bought them a willow tree figurine 'sisters in heart' I think it was called. I asked what she wanted and she had loads of clothes, including tiny baby, and soft toys. So I went with something a little different to acknowledge their birth.

@Originalfoogirl the reason I haven't sent a gift before now is because I've been recovering from surgery, with multiple trips to the hospital. Amongst other issues such as a terminally ill father that I now can't visit due to him living 300 miles away and I'm not allowed to fly.
She is also not a close friend and I doubt would actually be expecting me to send anything but I like her and thought it would be nice.
I appreciate if you have a baby in nicu that is all you can think about but maybe people sent presents 'late' because they had their own shit going on too.

My daughter's weighed 510g (1lb 2).. she didn't wear anything for about 9 weeks as she had so many wires on her but blankets for cuddles were good and when she was about 2m old she wore her first best that my sister bought online for a 2lb baby. It had poppers all around it so tubes could pass through and I loved being able to dress her. I think la reroute also did a v tiny range..
A keepsake present is also nice and agree that it's lovely to have birth acknowledged even at that early stage. It gave us hope.

I’m probably in the minority but I didn’t want gifts or cards. Specifically asked dm to NOT bring any as couldn’t bear the thought I’d ha e cards and gifts for a baby who may not make it. Ds was 36 weeks but v v ill. I didn’t want anything till he was home
Needless to say she brought gifts up anyway and I totally broke down

Just realised auto correct kicked in..!

Like a pp I couldn’t bear to open any gifts until we were out of NICU in case she didn’t make it. Whilst in NICU my best gifts were Cook vouchers for frozen ready meals (without these I may just not have had the energy to eat some days). Books for Mum and Baby also good way to pass the time, plus hand cream as previously mentioned. I also like the blanket idea.

Oh and yes my daughter absolutely loved the octopuses mentioned above, but they give them out for free where we were.

maybe people sent presents 'late' because they had their own shit going on too.

As I said, may not have been rational or locigal. Frankly, when going through NNICU, other people’s shit was of no relevance to me whatsoever. It’s the only time in my life where that was the case. You may have your own reasons, just be aware of the unintended message.

As MeringuePineapple and MagicMonster show in their posts, mums dealing with NNICU don’t always think or react in the way you might expect.