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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to remind you to take more photos of your family?

23 replies

HopingForSomeSnow · 28/12/2017 16:29

I am working through our old photos and can't believe how few pictures I have of the 4 of us together; me, DH, DD, and DS.
Over a ten year period I have managed to find just 19 pictures.
I have hundreds and hundreds of individual shots, or 2 or 3 of us, but only 19 whole family photos.
I am feeling really upset about it.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 28/12/2017 16:33

YANBU! Are they all still alive, as if so you can and should rectify that asap (if not I'm very sorry: wasn't clear from your OP). I regret not taking photos of my mum now she's gone. I guess in a family of four like yours one person always has to be holding the camera. Maybe have one of those nice photo shoots done on canvas?

LemonShark · 28/12/2017 16:38

Sorry I didn't word that well, bit clunky. I was trying to say you should go for a photo shoot but didn't want it to be upsetting if actually you'd lost someone and that's why you were so full of sadness and regret and you didn't mention taking any more. I sincerely hope I didn't upset you either way.

It's good to be reminded to take more photos of our loved ones 💛

QueenofLouisiana · 28/12/2017 16:54

I think you make a very good point. Photos of everyone are so important.

trinity0097 · 28/12/2017 16:55

Why are photos important?

Memories are far more important than photos.

HRTpatch · 28/12/2017 16:56

We have lost the dvds taken of the children when they were little...rhey were transferred onto cd and have disappeared. I am gutted. Their little voices gone for ever.
Luckily lots of photos.

hevonbu · 28/12/2017 16:57

Good point. I think I have only one or two photos of my mum, dad, and me together in one picture, and then that's a bad snapshot. They're dead now, of course. It's just me left.

FuzzyCustard · 28/12/2017 16:58

What I need is in my head and it doesn't fade.

lalalalyra · 28/12/2017 16:59

Also, the photo taker tends to be the same person. We have hundreds and hundreds of photos over the years taken at family occasions. The vast majority were taken by the same person. When she died it actually took us ages to find a nice photo of her because everyone was just so used to her taking the photos no-one else really bothered.

PerpetualStudent · 28/12/2017 17:00

Memories are more important but photos can be very special in anchoring those memories.
A chance guest one christmas happened to snap the last one at home as a family. Now we've lost my DDad and all live different places, it was the end of an era and we had no way of knowing it then. Everytime I see that photo I could kiss the friend that took it!

Cracker09jacker · 28/12/2017 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LemonShark · 28/12/2017 17:02

trinity0097 Memories can fade. You'll always have them but once a relative is gone is lovely to have the backup of photos. Would I remember as much detail about my mum as I do if I didn't have photos of her? Who knows. Those pictures, the scent of her signature perfume, listening to the music she loved and reading her handwriting all keep her close to me one way or another. When someone you love so much is gone you want any bit of their memory you can as you'll never have chance to make any more.

I know OP isn't about people dying but I think my point stands anyway re why photos are important.

LemonShark · 28/12/2017 17:04

There was a VHS once taken when I was four when we rented a camcorder for the weekend. I have no idea where it went and will never know, between house moves. Luckily I watched it enough as a kid I remember so much in vivid detail including sounds and textures and lighting so I can rewatch my mum in action in my mind. Knowing that somewhere out there (probably destroyed in a landfill) is the sole video of my lovely mum moving and speaking and I can't see it ever again is soul destroying when I'd give anything to see it again or show my loved ones who didn't ever meet her.

Photos and videos help people make things real again. And not everyone has a good memory. Elderly people often get a lot from photos once dementia has started, and it's lovely for grown ups to see photos of times they were too little to remember or before they were born

LemonShark · 28/12/2017 17:05

Sorry to everyone for being a bummer and derailing with dead parent talk!

Silvercatowner · 28/12/2017 17:05

What I need is in my head and it doesn't fade.

Memories do fade though. My two are early 30s and their babyhood is long ago. I love looking at photos. My mum has Alzheimers and her memory has definitely diminished.

StrawBasket · 28/12/2017 17:05

Memories are far more important than photos

no way would I remember everything if I didn't have so many photos. We are lucky to be able to take unlimited photos nowadays, I make the most of it.

GiraffesAreNotShort · 28/12/2017 17:07

Also video so you can hear how voices of children change over the years or what someone sounded like if they are no longer alive.

We have 2 identical cameras, we use one for photos and one for video.

Kelsoooo · 28/12/2017 17:12

I had that realisation about two weeks go when sending a card to my sister, I have no family photo of all four of us...

And my mental health causes disassociation at times, so no, it’s not “always in your head”

lalalalyra · 28/12/2017 17:28

Photos aren't just for those who have the memories. My children love seeing what Dh and I looked like as a child. They love being able to see that DS(8) looks so like DH and BIL. They also love seeing photos of my Grandparents who brought me up, but died when the 14yo DDs were only little.

And memories do fade.de

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 28/12/2017 17:31

I have realised that certain photos get an immediate smile out of me. They’re all of my DC. So I have them up around the house. If I didnt have the photos I wouldn’t have the regular prompts to make me smile and remember the fun we had on the days those photos were taken. It can lift me right out of a miserable slump to catch a photo out of the corner of my eye.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 28/12/2017 17:36

I'm an absolute nightmare with a camera. I take one with me, practically everywhere. Not just a phone one. I also print them off. You're quite right op. And sorry, but memories DO fade, even if you're fit and well

PinkHeart5914 · 28/12/2017 17:38

I know what you mean OP, when my uncle died very suddenly a few years ago I remember crying my eyes out because I had 1 photo of me and him together, just 1! He took me for many days out etc as a child, came on holiday with us etc but all I had was one photo of us together. when people are no longer with us it’s nice to have photos of them.

Sadly memories do fade! Photos however last a life time and you can show photos to your dc for example when they are grown up you can’t show anyone a memory in your head.

I make a point of getting pictures of me, Dh and the dc as often as I can

Coastalcommand · 28/12/2017 18:00

That's a great New Years resolution.

Butterflyhulk · 01/01/2018 12:57

I have plenty of photos of my DC and my partner but I'm always the one taking the pics so I'm not in them, me and my partner have been together 12 years this year and have 1 photo of us together and 2 of us as a four I need to mention to him to take photos of me with the kids and get other people to take photos of the 4 of us x

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