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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that many people dont enjoy looking after kids?

36 replies

malificent7 · 28/12/2017 08:06

Judging by reluctant childcarer threads. I love dd but i love having me time . The fact that grandparents would rather not look after dgc sugests that there are more fun things to do!
I only love parenting when she's happy and im rubbish at dealing with stroos, clingyness, noise and mess.

I like spending time with her but i look foward to when she can take herseĺf to the loo.

At the same time i will be sad when she grows up

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 28/12/2017 08:44

I think it depends on the age of the children. I hate looking after babies and toddlers but I don’t mind looking after school age children (for short periods of time Wink).
I’m off of work with my 7 yo at the moment and it’s 90% lovely and 10% infuriating. It’s lovely when we’re playing together and mucking about but less lovely when I’ve told her 10 times to put her shoes on.
I’ve also arranged for her to have a sleepover at my house next week which will be fun because her and her friends just laugh and laugh and laugh which is contagious but I’ll breath a big sigh of relief when they go home!!

ClaryFray · 28/12/2017 08:46

I love my children, and looking after them. Other people's children not so much. I've watched my friends children before but I haven't enjoyed it.

My DP's kids are hard work for me too. But I'm not a kiddy person.

Notreallyarsed · 28/12/2017 08:47

I really don’t like looking after other people’s children. I do it for friends (family don’t have kids) if it’s needed, but I find it extremely stressful and would rather not.

My own children it’s different, some days I could happily run away, other days it’s wonderful, some days it’s somewhere in the middle.

treaclesoda · 28/12/2017 08:49

I love my own children, of course. And I like having their friends here so that they can play together. And I enjoy getting to know their friends.

But honestly, if I had no children of my own, or if my children had grown up and left home, the thought of looking after someone else's children fills me with horror. No matter how adorable the children themselves might be. Although I expect that I'll feel differently if I'm ever a granny, as everyone tells me that that's like all the good bits of being a mum without all the crap bits.

UnFuckingAcceptable · 28/12/2017 08:54

It's true.
I love mine and work with kids. Will babysit reluctantly if required but I really, really don't like looking after other people's children.
Not my nieces and nephews who I adore.
Not my friend's children who are like family and super gorgeous.
Not my neighbour's children who are very well behaved and lovely.

I would, and do, help my friends and family if they need me/ask/I'm available but I'd pay good money to get someone else to do it instead if I could.
Thankfully my older DC are of the age now where I can volunteer their services when sitters are required and people tend to pay them

AnonEvent · 28/12/2017 08:56

I love my DD more than anything. But she's hard bloody work, she's toddling and learning to talk, and requires complete attention at all times.

I know each stage comes with its own challenges, but I'm eager for her to become a little more self sufficient (you know, be able to pop her down to play while I leave the room to do a three minute task, not have to set her up in a play zone in the hall so I can have a poo).

I'm back at work three days a week, it's a stressful and senior job, but it is SO much easier than looking after my (lovely, sweet, clever, funny) child.

deckoff · 28/12/2017 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allegretto · 28/12/2017 09:08

YANBU playing make believe with toddlers is so boring.

BovForBov · 28/12/2017 09:11

I have a 3 year old and 2 year old. I love going to work part time as a break. It's a relentless, thankless task trying to be a decent parent.

MyNewBearTotoro · 28/12/2017 09:13

I love looking after other people’s kids, in some ways more than looking after my own! Obviously I don’t mean that but parenting is relentless and includes a lot of not-so-fun bits. Babysitting or looking after a friends kids for the day is for me great as I genuinely enjoy spending time with children, playing games, going to the park/ soft play, watching CBeebies. Think I am just a kid at heart! I love the idea of being a grandparent and looking after my grandchildren but without the sleepless nights and constant anxiety and financial worries etc of being a parent.

That said I have always loved kids, i work with children and am always happy to offer babysitting etc. I genuinely enjoy spending time with children but I am not so naive as to think everybody would feel the same - I certainly don’t expect people to want to look after my kids (although am lucky that I have family & friends who do).

I think truthfully I am just a big kid at heart so I always like an opportunity to play

ConciseandNice · 28/12/2017 09:19

I don’t like liking after other people’s kids really, though I will always step up when needed. It’s easier as they get older and if they are friends with your kids, but if not it can be purgatory.

Paperdolly · 28/12/2017 09:19

I love looking after my grandkids but find it exhausting at my age...in fact I found it exhausting as a parent too! I think it gets easier as they get older.

Anniegetyourgun · 28/12/2017 09:20

Someone's going to be along shortly to -miss the point say how lucky you are to have them. It's not going to be me. I adored my DC more than life itself - I still do, though they're all grown up now - but that doesn't mean that looking after them was unmitigated joy. Sometimes it's just jolly hard slog. But then, so is anything worth achieving. When I sat down this Christmas at DS1's with a plate of food I hadn't cooked on my lap, and the DGC someone else has to bring up playing around our feet, it was all worth it in hindsight. DGS was doing something dreadfully messy in a tray (well, mostly in the tray) with the present I'd bought him, and it wasn't my problem!

Hang on in there, it'll all work out in the end.

megletthesecond · 28/12/2017 09:21

My dc's are nicer when other children are around because they don't fight. Otherwise it's a real struggle to do anything with them Sad.

PerfumeIsAMessage · 28/12/2017 09:23

I love spending time with dd now she's 14.

Toddler years- sheesh. Felt like a frontal lobotomy. Babies are OK as long as they're your own. But when they get to that toddler stage. No ta.

Of course, I think we do this shit all the wrong way round. I'd like to be part time now. Instead, all those interminable years of utterly crap children's TV, the hell on earth that is the Park, and The Softplay and The Playdate. Urgghhhhhh. The huge plastic make believe toys. And the guilt. And feeling inadequate. I remember sending dd to nursery full time even though I wasn't. (she loved it, she ate there, stuff she wouldn't eat at home, she learned to read and write there etc etc) and my "friend" looking at me with pity and saying "but why would I send my daughter there when I'm at home" We're no longer friends but I wonder what she did when her dd went to school, and now when her dd is just a year younger than mine. I wonder if she sits and pines by the window every day waiting for her to come home.

At 14, they have their mates round, you sling a biscuit into the room every so often. They go out. They come home. S'great.

Other people's children? No way Jose. I have nephews who are just other people's children to me. Some are nice, like all human beings, some are not so. I'm not biologically programmed to love them unconditionally.

I am so unmaternal I wonder how I ever had dd tbh. Grin

madeyemoodysmum · 28/12/2017 09:23

Now mine are older having kids around is fine. They don't really make mess anymore and it stops arguments. I found it stressful when they were under 6 tho.

user1471596238 · 28/12/2017 09:24

I actually don't mind looking after other people's kids. Because i have no emotional investment in them, i don't find that they get on my nerves and in fact it can make a welcome change from my kids (much as i love them!!).

WeAllHaveWings · 28/12/2017 09:28

I have loved every stage of looking after my ds(13) and at each age enjoyed having his friends to stay too. Pre DS, I enjoyed my nieces company and overnights from around age 4 onwards. Someone else's snot covered toddler in nappies? I'll pass.

GiveMeTheTeaAndNobodyGetsHurt · 28/12/2017 09:31

YANBU. I am not a natural at looking after children, and often find it boring, stressful, and exhausting. I love my DD, and (mostly!) love spending time with her, and with my nephews and nieces, but find myself craving some alone time after a while. Being an introvert who suffers from anxiety and depression probably exacerbates this, tbh.

Thedietstartsnow · 28/12/2017 09:32

Not me,I cherished every second of my kids growing up...the eldest are practically adults and there is still dinner on the table at 5 every night,I make their packed lunches ,wash their clothes,.those things are important,especially so if you didn't have it yourself as a child...it seems like yesterday my dd was born and in my arms,now she's 20 and living with her boyfriend...possibly it seems to you like a drag at the moment,but you can't get these years back ,try to enjoy your children ,they are little for so long -sniff-😟

JonnaSilvie · 28/12/2017 09:33

Everyone always assumes I want to look after their kids/keep an eye on the kids at group events, because I'm a teacher.

No! I have enough of kids during the week, and am paid for it there! And they are teenagers, not little kids = much better, IMO. DH and I don't have our own yet, and would like to enjoy our childfree years, not be handed toddlers at every opportunity by friends, and told it's for us to "practise".

Teddybear99 · 28/12/2017 09:33

I didn't particularly enjoy it and unlike many am not looking forward to having to look after grandchildren either!

Coastalcommand · 28/12/2017 09:33

Toddler here and I love looking after her. Makes me sad if I have to leave her with anyone for more than an hour or so.

Baubletrouble43 · 28/12/2017 09:35

Another here who loves being with my own kids but can't stand other people's.

Thedietstartsnow · 28/12/2017 09:37

I think for me ..I was shocked at the amount of housework that came with having kids / family / husband / house...line even their toys needed a bloody wipe down...washing machine ,dryer needing cleaning...stairs ..oh the stairs ,so many of them to hoover and paintwork to wipe down...in that respect I can't wait for a one bed flat with no garden ,it's years away thou

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