Friend makes me feel so anxious

[UhOh4321]

Not really the right forum but always traffic and good avice here. I am in my late 20's and as ridiculous as it sounds have a 'friend' who makes me feel extremely anxious and on edge.

She has said things to me that have made me feel crap about myself. She is also excludes DP of 10 years, ignoring him when we are out, not inviting him to her wedding (she thinks he is boring).

I put up with her because we are part of a bigger group of friends and I don't want to miss out on seeing other people just because of her. the rest of my friends in this group are fab and get on well with DP.

I am meeting friends tomorrow and feel physically sick about seeing this woman. I'm feel scared about what she might say, how awkward I'll feel and how DP will feel when she ignores him.

I know I need to grow up but I actually don't know how to make this better. I worry that cutting her off would cause problems in our group and see me excluded from social events. This is my only group of friends.

How would you deal with a person like this who makes you feel so little?

I've had it happen and others have noticed it, which makes it easier to put up with. Behaviour like that always stems from the perpetrators insecurity and jealousy. So I pity them, but also challenge or take the piss out of them.

I remind myself how insignificant they are, so their behaviour doesn't impact on me.

I'm not the type to be ignored and your DH shouldn't allow it. The minute she does it, i'd make jokes about the invisible man, her eyesight/hearing and rudeness etc.

She is a joke, treat her as one.

You need to practise a few replies but not too bitchy. Something like "ooh who pissed on your chips today" ? or "oh Susan you never change, bless you" with a tinkly laugh.
Keep your distance and focus on the others. As for your dp, everyone else likes him so don't focus on her.

"Saucer of milk with that comment Susan?"

Can't you quietly avoid her in the group, just don't be next to her even if she's there? How big is the group?

don't show fear and challenge behaviour. If she's rude say "ooo, that's rude". (if she's talking to your DP).

If she's rude to you, my favourite is "what? what did you say? What does that mean?" If she has to explain or justify it, she probably won't.

Can you focus more on the other friends?

Dont allow her to demean your husband or bully you. If she doesn't invite your dh to her wedding because he's 'boring' then don't go! Ignore her and call her out when she's rude to your husband.

She's not your friend.