Sorry in advance for the very long post. I am in my early 20s and at university. At the moment I am home for the Christmas holidays. I feel so down and suffocated and just don't know what to do.
My parents have never had a healthy relationship. There were lots of screaming fights, slamming doors etc while I was a child. The thing that has always made me feel the most frustrated and upset is the prolonged silence with which my mum will frequently treat my dad. She frequently ignores him when he speaks to her, sometimes acts like he doesn't exist and will sometimes only speak to me at the dinner table, and completely ignore him when he attempts to make conversation. This sometimes goes on for days. This particular thing (only speaking to me at dinner and acting like he doesn't exist) made me feel enormous pressure as a child, and I absolutely hated it, and would try to get away from dinner as quickly as possible and would often binge in my room instead. Don't get me wrong, my father can be very irritating at times, and the communication failure is down to both of them to some degree. Even now, as a 20 year old visiting home for Christmas, I feel the need to retreat and hide in my room because I can't stand it. I don't confront either of them because I'm too much of a coward.
I have read that one partner ignoring another in such an extreme way is a form of emotional abuse. If this is the case - is there anything I can do to stop this? My mum takes criticism extremely badly and I know if I even hint anything of the sort, she will become extremely upset and I'd be really worried about her reaction. Also it is their marriage and I know it's not my place to get involved. But how can I let this situation - where all 3 of us are so clearly unhappy - continue?
I love my parents so much and they have both sacrificed a lot for me and I feel so ungrateful for feeling so frustrated and resentful. I just don't know what to do anymore.