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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell new neighbour to leave the fucking trees alone

38 replies

Wisterical · 27/12/2017 22:01

My new neighbour, I'll call her Doreen, has severely pruned the trees and hedge in our shared back garden without discussing it with me. It's a brutal, badly done job and now, as well as a once pretty little garden looking awful, the houses behind have direct view into my bedroom. And the birds have gone Sad

Obviously I'm not going to swear at her but WIBU to tell her not to do anything else to the garden without me agreeing to it first? She's also just got a 'dusk to dawn' bloody bright light attached to the front of her flat (we're both ground floor in a block of 4 HA flats) despite me asking if she'd get a motion sensor one. We live in a dark skies area and it's pretty much impossible to see the stars with this beaming all night. She seems determined to do what she wants and I don't know how best to deal with it whilst keeping a good neighbourly relationship.

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/12/2017 22:07

Who owns the trees? Are they in her garden or yours?

Changednamejustincase · 27/12/2017 22:10

I don't think you can make her change her light if you already asked and she has chosen to keep the light she had.

I think with a communal garden you have to accept that you won't all want the same things but as it isn't a private garden you may have to live with changes. Did your deeds say who could change things in the garden or if agreement was needed from all parties. It sounds like your neighbour doesn't mind maintaining the garden which could save you some work.

Hassled · 27/12/2017 22:13

You can maintain the good neighbourly relationship if you're polite and she's otherwise sane and reasonable. It's worth a shot. Some people just need the bleeding obvious pointing out to them, and are fine when you do.

Notgotajarofglue · 27/12/2017 22:16

You could fire a spud gun at the light

Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 22:26

It's a shared back garden and Housing Association so no deeds. That she ignored me about the light doesn't give me hope that more polite requests will be effective. I love gardening, happy to share the tasks and discuss changes but worried what she'll do next.

OP posts:
DampF0ggy · 27/12/2017 22:32

A light and some gardening, put this into perspective please! You don't have anyone making loud noise or any other annoying habits. If she has pruned the bushes in the winter, the birds will return in the spring or put out some bird feeders. You cannot really control what other people do.

GwenStaceyRocks · 27/12/2017 22:45

It's a shared garden. What would have happened if she had asked you about pruning the trees? Because it sounds as though she wanted to do a and you wanted b so someone was always going to be unhappy. You could meet with the housing officer and ask them what they suggest for the gardening going forwards.

PositivelyPERF · 27/12/2017 22:47

Surely she's breaking dark sky regulations if she has a dusk to dawn light? You could ask the HA about that.

Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 22:48

damp we have bird feeders just hardly any birds now as there's no tree cover. You're right I cannot control what other people do and this isn't a matter of life and death. But it's my garden too Angry

OP posts:
Frillyhorseyknickers · 27/12/2017 22:50

A light and some gardening, put this into perspective please

I assume you have never slept in close proximity to an external disk till dawn floodlight?

walchesterweasel · 27/12/2017 22:50

Could you suggest that she comes round for a coffee to discuss plans for the shared garden next Spring ? It could be worth explaining that it had taken a long time for the tree to grow to just the right height to give the upper floors privacy and now they are exposed. She might not be totally selfish and get the idea she's spoilt your enjoyment. May be some bird houses would encourage some blue tits , they won't be nesting yet . Hope your tree's a fast grower !

Littlecaf · 27/12/2017 22:51

I’d point out politely that the neighbours can now see into your flat, She probably didn’t know. Also say something like “ooooh your light was on all night, does the motion sensor not work properly?” If it’s on a shared wall, could you just not change it yourself or report to HA?

Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 22:53

Gwen I think I'd have offered to pay half cost of getting someone to do job properly rather than the brutal hack job that's been done, and leave the area that screens the view into my bedroom.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 22:56

Hoping to find a way to communicate with her without getting HA involved as that feels like escalating it - risking future good neighbour stuff.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 23:09

Thanks weasel I reckon you're right, chat over coffee is the best way forward. And I'll check out dark sky regs about lights.

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 27/12/2017 23:10

Is the entire garden shared, or is half of it assigned to each flat? ( My brother lives in a similar property but he knows which part of the garden is his responsibility)

Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 23:16

The entire back garden is shared, we have private front gardens.

OP posts:
Hauntedlobster · 27/12/2017 23:22

I’d just go to HA, you’ve tried to be nice already

Stillme1 · 27/12/2017 23:28

You have not mentioned what height the trees were before NDN pruned them. In some areas there is a limit to the height of tree that is allowed and I read that in my area the height is about 6 ft. It may be that she is making the trees lawful.
You can check on your council's website.

Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 23:38

We're in a very rural village, lots of big trees all around. There's a fir many metres high in one corner, these were trees and an old fashioned hedge (where birds nest) small enough to prune the tops off with big step ladders.

OP posts:
InfiniteCurve · 27/12/2017 23:42

6ft? That isn't a tree at all,just a bush Sad

Original poster
Wisterical · 27/12/2017 23:47

curve pp might be referring to local regs about permitted hedge heights?

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 27/12/2017 23:53

Tell the HA/Council. You've tried being nice. The dusk-to-dawn floodlight would keep most people awake. Motion sensor light would probably wake you up in the night when wildlife and things set it off. I doubt that she had any right to hack away at the shrub.

If she prunes the trees/bushes/shrubs during the nesting season she could be harming birds.

Littlehenrylee · 27/12/2017 23:55

Perhaps the best thing is to agree to pay a gardener to do the big jobs in the garden and have a discussion about what needs to be done before or when he comes.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/12/2017 00:11

If you're in a ground floor flat and the garden is shared, I would be buying some big pot plants (bush style) and sticking them in front of my bedroom window. If they're in pots, she can't touch them because they're YOURS.

And speak to the HA about it. I think you're on a losing wicket with speaking to her.