To start trying for a baby?

[Ilovecoleslaw]

Bit of background:
DP and I have been living together for about a year and a half, currently failing at saving for a deposit on a house. I start my full time nursing job in February, I currently work full time as does DP.
We had a mmc in June (planned pregnancy), and haven't been ready to ttc again since then.
Come February, our combined take home pay after bills will be 2300, so we plan to crack down and put every spare penny towards a mortgage.
Next week would have been my due date, and DP's brother has recently had a baby, which has really made me and DP think of ttc again.
I've got baby on the brain constantly and can see a couple of options:
A) the sensible option - wait until we have a mortgage or at least the majority of the deposit saved up before TTC, or at least until August where I will get full nhs maternity pay.
B) screw waiting and Ttc now, knowing it may or may not take months to happen.

You're all going to be a hell of a lot wiser than me, so I think I need the mumsnet jury to convince me into option A. Although I know it's the most sensible option, I really don't want to wait any longer!

(Obviously discussed this with DP, and he is happy with either option, but swaying towards option b)

You’re young, establish yourself in your nursing career first. You’ve been only been living together for a year and a half, what’s the rush?

^This 100%. I fear you are rushing into this for all the wrong reasons

I'd absolutely wait. Your relationship is still relatively new and you don't have the security of marriage, a stable property or a long standing career.

If you were my daughter I'd be advising you to wait at least another five years. Rarely is a boyfriend at 21 a partner for life.

Definitely wait. You say you’ve been living together 18 months but how long have you actually been a couple? You’re only 21 and your money won’t go far, save it while you can.

OP is 22 people 🙄

OP, it's up to you at the end of the day. I would personally wait.

Thank you for all the helpful comments, will be coming back to read this thread when I'm feeling particularly broody in the future

She’s 21.

Don’t underestimate how hard it is to adjust from student to qualified nurse. Plus you’ll have all your competency packages to complete. Why mix that with a baby.

Plus, those first few years were the best in terms of my social life and making friends.

Completely understand how you feel -
once you decide you want a baby it can be all-consuming, and especially since you've suffered a loss.

I think though that as you are so young, you can afford to do your absolute best to give your baby the best start in life, and that means security of a place to live, a secure relationship (ideally marriage), and you in a secure job with a good mat package so you can support them. It sounds like if you ttc now you will have none of that, whereas in a year or 2 you'll have it all - just wait.

You have loads of time. Wait. You'll be glad you did. It will be almost impossible to save with a baby to feed, clothe etc.

Childcare adds up, as they get a few years older activities, toys and clothes start to cost more, you can work longer or overtime now and you're nowhere near as shattered, your ability to save now is significantly greater than after a baby. Wait. Being a skint parent is a stress you don't need, you want to enjoy your time with your baby, give yourself options, and the only way to do that is to plan ahead. SMP means you can afford to actually take time off after the birth, very very few parents will tell you they regretted taking 9 months or a year at home and really wished they'd gone back after 6 weeks!

Honestly I think you would be mad to try for a baby now. I think you should wait till you’re 25 at a minimum.

Get married first for protection and make sure you qualify for maternity pay.

I'd get established in my career and get married first.

Get the house & job sorted.
Maybe get married - or at least make sure you have legal protection if you don't want to get married.

The last thing you want to be doing whilst caring for a newborn is worrying about money.