To ask about presents for DS

[Wineasaurous]

He has been bought lots of Christmas presents but basically on the condition that they are kept at their houses. So my parents and the inlaws bought for him but everything needs to live at their respective houses and will be played with by the other grandchildren. AIBU to think that that isn't really a gift for him? It makes sense to have toys at their houses so we aren't carrying loads with us when he sees them but MIL got really funny about DS cuddling into his new teddy when we were trying to leave theirs and insisted we take it off him as it was a 'nanna's house toy'.
I probably am coming across grabby but it just doesn't sit right with me, giving a child a toy and taking it away from them

Nope presents go with the reciever unless they wish to leave them

I have had this with exh. The presents should be free to be where your ds wants them or you are correct they aren't really his. Twats for relatives. Poor kid.

"Nana's house toy"? WTF?

That is absolutely mad! It is his gift and he should take it home. I have never understood this kind of weirdness. I would probably be having a word about this.

That is utterly bonkers! It's not a present for him if he isn't allowed to keep it.

I think insist that all presents offered at your house stay with you also. “No no MIL, you can only wear this necklace at our house”.

“Oh, sorry MIL you’ve got those chocolates we gave you in your bag. Let’s pop them in the fridge. They can only be eaten here- you know the rules! They are Winey’s house chocolates!”

We had this last year, DD was 'given' a kitchen on the understanding it was stay at Nanny's and all the other grandchildren can play with it. She was also 'given' books by SIL on the same understanding. This year a Wendy house was muted and I politely declined and she got little toys that were all carefully packed up to bring home.

A close friend of mine has an ex dil who doesn’t take care of anything. Special dresses for photo day, decent running shoes etc.
Subsequently presents given out by gran stay at grans.

I can totally understand them wanting some toys there, but they shouldn't be given as gifts unless the child chooses to leave a gift there. Especially as it will be shared amongst other children. How are young children supposed to understand they've been given a gift but can't take it with them, Just seems really mean

Very weird.

Why doesn't the GP or whoever give slightly less at Christmas and birthday (gifts for the child to take wherever they wish) and then present anything else at another time? e.g. if having the child for a sleepover in March, show them their new card game or teddy or book or whatever to keep at that place...

If other cousins etc. are using it then it shouldn't be wrapped as a gift and given to one DGC but, if possible, explained to all the children that they have something kept at X's house to share.

Gran to 3children here.Toys bought from charity shops to keep at my house for all grandchildren.New toys for Christmas and birthdays belong to individual child and kept at their own house .

I would be so happy if my relatives did this! I am struggling to store all of the massive toys from Xmas.
Although I don’t think it is acceptable to enforce it if you’re not happy with it, and taking a new teddy off a child is just mean.

DS is only 14 months so still young and doesn't understand rhyme or reason. Other GC range from 6months to 2yo so again, not a lot of understanding who's is what sort of thing.
I honestly wouldn't mind if it had been discussed before hand. But I've purposely not bought the same toys as I thought he would have them from them if that makes sense.
One of the toys is something I know he'd really like so I mentioned that I would buy him one for our house and that was met with a confused glare from MIL

Next year, invite people to your house. Then when they give presents they'll already be at your house?

Or, get your DH/DP to have words the month before his next birthday. "Please only give presents he can take home."

Ah my MIL pulled this trick before

It’s bloody cruel, the only reason I can figure is that it gives them some sort of control and they think the kid will love them soooo much more and want to be there more if it’s exclusively there.

My MIL did not last long at that game

Well my own mother has done it too because my MIL did it.
All very childish in my opinion. At this age I suppose it does make sense, when he's older though he'll probably be taking toys here there and everywhere depending on what he likes at the time? All very strange IMO.

I often sat and hoped my kids would kick off as we left so I could throw an odd comment in

Haha dot that's class. That will be me as he gets older lol

I see that it’s wrong in principle, but I’d bloody love DM & MIL to keep the mountains of presents at their houses, I’m going to be lost

Under a pile of them shortly!

Explain the GP that gifts to children should not cone with those conditions and if they won't let him that the gifts home with him, then you cannot allow him to be upset by playing with them at all. Explain it is too cruel to give them and then take them back again!