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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think having never read a book is nothing to brag about

80 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 27/12/2017 16:50

I am a bit of a book worm but I was meeting a friend and her Dfiance for lunch today and she was saying that her New Years resolution was to read some classics/good books and asked for a few recommendations.
Cue her DF having a real brag about how he's not read a book cover to cover since primary school... no learning difficulties etc. Also goes on about how he doesn't read papers/the news as it's always "boring and about other countries."

Aibu to think wilful ignorance is nothing to brag about?!

OP posts:

Splinterz · 27/12/2017 21:28

I was slightly taken aback that someone wouldn't keep an eye on current affairs because it was all about other countries

I know several people who never read news papers - paper or on line - for many reasons from (a) its too depressing (b) I don't understand politics (c) its boring (d) I don't have time etc etc etc

And, lets face it - in this forum there an absolute snob value about the media, what you may or may not read, or link to.

Valerrie · 27/12/2017 21:30

What does playing Pokémon Go have to do with being literate? I do both. Is that some sort of problem?

YANBU, OP. I can't stand boasting ignorance. The only person it makes look ridiculous is themselves. I'm not sure why anyone would want to make themselves out to be proud that they don't read.

weebarra · 27/12/2017 21:37

@Hungrydonkey, I absolutely get that. DS1 isn't very happy with the reading as he finds it hard (dyspraxia/ dyslexia) but we talk a lot and he is incredibly articulate. He knows lots of "big words". We had a CAMHS appointment recently and he stunned the doctor with his articulation of living with ADHD. And I know I sound like a wanker, but she had tears in her eyes.

5foot5 · 27/12/2017 21:45

TheHungryDonkey I have known at least two adults like your DS.

One was my manager at the time. An intelligent bloke, knowledgeable about lots of things and he actually read quite a bit but only non-fiction. He simply could not see the point of fiction. Several of us were avid readers and tried to explain our POV but this chap was very articulate and a good debater so he could counter all of our points. So frustrating!

JustHope · 27/12/2017 21:57

It is possible to keep up to date with current affairs these days by watching tv news, listening to the radio and getting news online. Many people have a general idea what’s going on but unless it actually affects them directly they aren’t necessarily going to want to read about it. My teen Dd knows what’s going on without reading the newspaper.

Seniorcitizen1 · 27/12/2017 22:00

What a shameful admission - may be he is a bit thick and cant read - if he can read what a stupid person

junebirthdaygirl · 27/12/2017 22:14

If he is ignorant enough never to have read a book that will lead him to be too ignorant to know that its nothing to boast about.
Saying that my ds is dyslexic and while he has read books it is torture for him. He loves documentaries though and has huge general knowledge and interested in current affairs, politics and history. He loves quizzes. He is defensive about his difficulties and likely to cover up by saying l hate books.

Ratinthehat · 27/12/2017 22:23

I could say I haven't read a book in 12 years (since having children) but I do listen to audio books now as I can get on with other stuff. I'm a painfully slow reader and work as an audio typist so the idea of staring at more writing in my spare time doesn't seem to appealing!

JonnaSilvie · 27/12/2017 22:30

I read several books a week, but I do prioritise making time to read books as it's something I really enjoy.

My DH would very rarely sit down to read a book (dyslexic). But he listens to lots of audiobooks, so "reads" that way. And I have learned to love audiobooks too, as it means I can get LOADS more reading done whilst doing housework or driving.

DH has loads of friends, usually male, who haven't read a book since GCSE English. But they are never proud of it when they tell me this.

YouTheCat · 27/12/2017 22:39

Have you been talking to my exh? He used to revel in his ignorance and still does. He used to complain if I sat reading a book. Twat.

BackHome · 27/12/2017 22:53

Well it's a difficult one.

Some people don't like reading and I think that's ok! Really really ok! Everyone is different!

When I was at school I was quite bright but constantly made to feel thick because I didn't read (I could read! I just HATED fiction!) Those people who were 'well read' were considered smart and cultured, and those that didn't enjoy reading fiction were considered a bit useless! I do think this mentality continues today (both in our attitudes to young people and to fellow adults!)

I spent a lot of my late teens and twenties almost pretending I was a reader and bluffing conversations about '1984', 'the hobbit', 'hitch hikers guide to the galaxy' etc.. so I wouldn't be unfairly (negatively) judged!

Now I don't care what other people think! I freely own that I don't read fiction and have hardly ever read a book cover to cover. It's not a boast, just something I am not afraid to say anymore!

(Oh - and to the teachers who thought I'd amount to nothing because I didn't read fiction at school - Im in 'Mensa', have a PhD, and have an academic job! I can manage journal articles!!)

Everyone is different! and that's ok!

UrgentScurryfunge · 27/12/2017 23:04

I remember a conversation with a pupil while covering registration where he boasted that he had never read a full book. No one had sat listening to him reading a book in its entirety so he had always got away with reading a minimum and skipping bits. I found that incredibly sad.

DH rarely reads for pleasure. I suspect that he's an undiagnosed dyslexic having translated his PhD into fluent, intelligible English. He's quite clearly an articulate, intelligent person despite finding it hard going to read a children's picture book aloud. He can cope with the short structure of news articles and learns a lot from documentaries. He just finds that unless he's on a long holiday his brain is all read-out from the demands of work. That's a very different mindset to revelling in ignorance.

I'm definitely a reader for relaxation and pleasure, but there's so many ways to access information and stories now even if reading is a challenge. People who are determined to be ignorant get left behind in the world.

juliesaway · 28/12/2017 00:04

Many, many people go through life without an appreciation of the world around them or any cultural or general knowledge. They just aren’t that interested in the world. Yet they’ll know what brand is “hot” or what some useless celeb is up to. I’m sure those in authority are quite happy to have a large section of the population openly proud of their ignorance.

Joey7t8 · 28/12/2017 00:12

It's an odd thing to say with any sense of pride. I didn't really get into reading fiction until my early 20s, but I have learned so much from it.

LegallyBrunet · 28/12/2017 00:36

I'm an avid reader and also doing a degree that requires a lot of reading so can't abide people who boast that they've never read a book since leaving school. My OH doesn't read though, not out of ignorance- he has two degrees- but because he's dyslexic and it physically hurts him to do so and he prefers to listen to audiobooks instead.

MollyWantsACracker · 28/12/2017 01:58

What we are reading of here is the result of an attack on intellectualism.
I’m not talking university professors here, just ordinary people
Few of us read as much as we used to. I try to make time to read twice a year- stockpile & read 6/7 books

MollyWantsACracker · 28/12/2017 01:59

I used to read 2/3/4 books a week

Sevendown · 28/12/2017 06:59

I used to have a friend like that.

Never had a book, magazine or paper in the house.

Never watched the news.

Never even saw online news as had no internet/smart phone.

In the mid noughties she didn’t even know we were at war in Iraq.

She couldn’t point to the uk on a globe or where she lived on a uk map.

She didn’t know who the prime minister was and hadn’t heard of UKIP in 2014.

That kind of ignorance scares me!

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2017 07:25

There is a big difference between never reading a book and being ignorant about current affairs. Two completely different things.

My 14yo (no SEN) will probably never read a book once he leaves school. He hates English Literature lessons with a passion. It's always been as though reading actually hurts him (we have discovered coloured overlays do help him, but I bet there are many people out there who haven't discovered that) Yet he knows as much as most teenagers his age about world affairs because we have these new fangled contraptions the radio and television, which mean he can gather information aurally.

DH only reads autobiographies. So what?

Some people are crap at maths compared to their other abilities, but it annoys some folk, apparently, if people admit to it.

Funnily enough people admitting they only speak English or aren't good at languages doesn't seem to bother anyone on MN.

nolongersurprised · 28/12/2017 07:39

This reminds me of that famous John Waters quote.

“We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them. Don’t let them explore you until they’ve explored the secret universes of books”.

makeourfuture · 28/12/2017 07:49

Is reading now seen as lazy? Sprawled on the sofa with a book? Hoovering needing to be done?

MongerTruffle · 28/12/2017 07:56

about other countries
I’d be more worried about this comment.

meredintofpandiculation · 28/12/2017 08:09

Some people are crap at maths compared to their other abilities, but it annoys some folk, apparently, if people admit to it. I suspect that was aimed at me. I'm delighted if people admit to finding difficulty with maths, it shows they've recognised a problem. What annoys me is the air of pride with which some people will proclaim their inability, as if it makes them a better person. Add to that a determination not to do anything to improve the situation, because "I've never needed maths in real life", and, yes, that's a silly and ignorant stance to take.

LittleCandle · 28/12/2017 08:15

A colleague at my last job boasted that she had never read a book. She also boasted that she failed all her exams at school, because school was a waste of time and she didn't learn anything. She is a nice girl, but proud to be ignorant. In her family, that is a badge of honour. They are somewhat taken aback that the youngest child is, at the moment, enjoying school and learning, but I suspect that she will have that knocked out of her by being shamed about it at home. Very sad.

makeourfuture · 28/12/2017 08:21

I think the way maths is often taught squeezes every bit of joy from it. And it is a joyous subject. It is our only certainty.

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