Where to live - North or South?

[christmaspringle]

Need help on making a decision.

I'm 27 and single. Have about 6k in savings. Own a house and let it out, currently share.

Currently I live in a northern city - my university city - I moved here last year. I thought I would enjoy it but I hate it. People seem very 'local', the city seems small and backward and I haven't made any new friends really.

I want to move to London next year. Probably around July when my current tenancy ends. This gives me 6-7 months to find a decent job. I'm quite established in my current career, would be looking at 45-50k.

But my parents are putting me off. They think I'm looking for something that I will never find - as I've moved twice since leaving university. Also that London is too expensive, I'll be lonely and I'll never buy another house.

Wwyd?

Christmas... If you want a change go for it. Don't let people put you off. I moved to Leeds for uni in 96 and stayed after. Got itchy feet and 25 and went travelling for a year. Got itchy feet again at 28 and wanted to live in a big city, at least for a bit. Considered London but ended up in Beijing for a year. Loved living in a big city but couldn't settle there (or London) full time. Leeds is a decent city with amazing proximity to the best countryside in their UK (not biased obvs!). It sounds like you've had bad luck with your friendship circles. In my wine group about 20% have kids and only half have partners. I've got other friends through a book (aka drinking) group and picked up others friendship circles through 3 different workplaces. I'm 40 now and don't go out as much but at your age I still found plenty to do in Leeds. The art scene and music scenes are both really good but you need to know where to look and make the effort to engage. I appreciate that may be tricky if your friendship circles are limited. If you decide to stay maybe move jobs or do something which means you meet new people - we're not all backwards, promise!

Interestingly I’ve done both and looked at them from a different view altogether.
I think you would suit going down to London, I found the lifestyle down there very immature by comparison which is precisely what you’re looking for. I don’t think it’s fair to say either is backwards/forwards but I was shocked at how much older people seemed to be when they grew up and settled down in London (of course I can only go off the area I lived/worked in)

Move to London OP. You don't have to stay forever do you?
Plus I think it's bollocks people saying 50k is not enough to live on. We are a family of 4 living on 40-50k and it's totally doable. Keep renting your house out and rent somewhere.
Go for it

It is not doable if you expect to buy a property. OP doesn't.

Leeds is amazing and I think this more to do other where you personally are in your life and choices than your specific location to be honest. Leeds offers a quality of life few cities in the UK can match with a great range of employment opportunities in a huge range of industries too. It’s cetainly not dull with a thriving cultural scene and enormous amount of nightlife, restaurant scene, bars , clubs etc It’s like a mini London but without all the quality of life issues London has for people on average wages.

True about he lifestyle being pretty immature in London as well. People in their late 30s sure having fun but essentially many living like students, drinking all weekend, renting/ share houses etc. london can be one lon party if you want and no one ever will tell you when to grow up. Sounds like at 26 the OP still wants to party into her 30s. No better place than London for this but don’t kid yourself it means other places are more backward. My early 20 something relatives in the north all own their own homes and have much more disposable income than if they lived in London and no debt. I guess that’s backwards though as they tend not to spend every weekend partying or thinking share-housing into middle age is cool.

Lived a few places...edinburgh gets my vote. It's a vibrant multicultural city, without being 'lonely'

I’m from Manchester (well, I’m actually from Yugoslav but that’s another story! I have a northern accent), moved to bristol and loved it. Now I live in rural Somerset and I’m desperate to get back to bristol! I’m so bored here 😩 have you spent any time in bristol? It might have what you are looking for x

45-50k is definitely not enough to live a party lifestyle in London and 6k in savings is nothing. When I lived in London I earned over twice that and still felt restricted.

Have you considered you may be the type of person who will have difficulty making new friends anywhere? You still seem to be floundering around years after leaving university. Moving around frequently is fine but not if it's hiding other underlying issues you may have and 27 is not young. I feel quite sorry for you and your situation. I had a wonderful time living in London but I currently live near Manchester and am having a fabulous time there too. No one can make this decision except you - good luck!

Chanel I beg to differ. Of course it depends on what you see as a "party lifestyle", but on a similar salary I live very comfortably in London.

I go out every time I feel like, socialize, have dinner out in nice places, buy clothes when I want and go on holiday twice a year. I also save roughly £400-600 a month, sometimes more.

Obviously I can't buy a Chanel bag every other week, but I would not be able to afford that even in a cheaper city, would I?

Chanel thanks but what is your definition of 'floundering around'? I've lived here for over a year and in previous city (not my hometown) for 4? Is it not normal to move if you don't like somewhere?

Basically it's just not how I remembered from university and maybe I was naive to think it would be.

I do have friends here too, just have struggled a bit to find a huge group. I'm not just a huge weirdo/loner/bitch which is how I feel like I'm being portrayed.

A £50k salary is more than enough to have a great lifestyle in London, as long as the OP is prepared to live in a share which I think she is.

OP, I don't think you're weird at all. I've lived in London and up north as an adult and get how you feel about your peers settling down early in Leeds. But I agree with people who've said that generally speaking people are friendlier up north. Still, you've nothing to lose by moving and I've no doubt you'll make friends in your houseshare and at your workplace.

45-50k is definitely not enough to live a party lifestyle in London and 6k in savings is nothing. When I lived in London I earned over twice that and still felt restricted.

Must’ve lived in Chelsea then

I lived and partied a lot in London as a singleton on half of that!!

Knightsbridge :)

Namila, you summed it up perfectly - we all have very different definitions of a party lifestyle.

OP, you stated "I haven't made any new friends really" - people respond to the information they are given. In a whole year, that would be somewhat surprising for someone who's made a concerted effort to be sociable - that's my opinion, based on the places I've lived in the UK and abroad, and I don't consider myself to be a highly gregarious person.