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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really dislike receiving wrapped presents?

23 replies

Piratesandpants · 27/12/2017 14:51

I’m fine with flowers/wine/chocolates. But recently I’ve realised that I reallly don’t like wrapped gifts. As soon as I’m given one I start to worry about what it is. I feel pressure

OP posts:
Original poster
Piratesandpants · 27/12/2017 14:53

.... to like it. I worry I won’t. If I don’t like it I feel irrational rage towards the giver for making me feel guilty. The whole unwrapping it while being watched is embarrassing. I prefer not to receive anything - that’s fine by me. I do like giving wrapped presents though Grin Am I alone?

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 27/12/2017 14:53

I think you need to discuss this with your gp. And then with whoever your gp refers you to.

NancyDonahue · 27/12/2017 14:56

I'm not keen on opening in front of the giver. I'm not the sort to get overly enthusiastic about anything so having to be delighted with a gift, even if I really like It, doesn't come naturally to me. So YANBU to feel that pressure.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 27/12/2017 14:57

I think you need to discuss this with your gp. And then with whoever your gp refers you to.

🤔

BuzzKillington · 27/12/2017 14:57

I love an ostentatiously wrapped gift.

This year, my dh had about half of my presents gift wrapped. They were glorious in their fanciness.

NancyDonahue · 27/12/2017 14:57

Just read your second post, op. Feeling rage towards the giver is a little odd.

Unforunateseriesofevents · 27/12/2017 14:59

You’re not alone. I hate receiving presents, and wrapped presents in particular.

Were your family odd about gifts when you were growing up? Was there irrational pressure on you to love what you were given even if it was talcum powder? I think our families’ reactions to gifts sets us up to see them as negative or positive.

meltingsugar · 27/12/2017 14:59

Not at all. I'm the same. Love how anything not straight down the middle kind of 'normal' means you should go straight to the GP. We are all different..!

I really dislike opening presents in front of others. Christmas is better because others are doing it too, birthdays are terrible. I'm OK with DH now, but I usually discourage present buying and say I don't like my birthday as a means to avoid it. And I'm genuinely not that bothered about my birthday either to be fair.

ILookedintheWater · 27/12/2017 14:59

You admit that your rage is irrational.
It's your issue.
The giver should give you a gift that they think you will like. They may be right, they may be wrong. It is not beholden on them to give you a gift that you love, only one that they think you will like.
Practice your 'Thank you so much' face and get a grip.

LemonShark · 27/12/2017 14:59

Pretty sure everyone dislikes the pressure of gift exchanging! Having to look delighted for half an hour solid, thinking up something new to say for everything you unwrap, trying to come up with endless novel comments about how useful something will be, trying to find the right balance between enthusiastically grateful and manic about a pair of socks, the worry in case one of you got a gift and the other didn't, the worry over one party spending much more than the other... It's a situation wrapping up love and respect with material goods accompanied by the unknown element of surprise, played out on a public stage. YANBU.

But mostly I am just so thankful someone took the time to pick something out I might like and wrap it for me so I deal with the rest.

StrawBasket · 27/12/2017 15:02

Pretty sure everyone dislikes the pressure of gift exchanging!

ahem.. no, sorry. Lemonshark you are overthinking it a tad!

Original poster
Piratesandpants · 27/12/2017 15:03

My family are all perfectly normal about receiving gifts and present giving/receiving in childhood was all normal. I can’t think of any rational explanation for this particular social anxiety/fear. Just thought I’d ask on here as I can’t excy ask friends or family as most them have given me wrapped presents at some point and I really wouldn’t want to offend anyone.

OP posts:
CheapSausagesAndSpam · 27/12/2017 15:03

What I don't like is people who wrap up a box of chocolates! Or other foodstuffs.

It's food. It's a gift yes but don't pretend I can wear it or read it!

LemonShark · 27/12/2017 15:04

StrawBasket 😂 I'm not usually an anxious or socially anxious person but the whole thing is so fraught!

Original poster
Piratesandpants · 27/12/2017 15:04

Lemonshark - you are very eloquent describing some of the feelings/thoughts etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Piratesandpants · 27/12/2017 15:05

I am of course grateful for any present received and do appreciate the thought and effort.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 27/12/2017 15:06

Thanks pirates. I do love buying and giving presents, and tbh I love receiving them too. I didn't realise anyone else also felt so awkward about the whole thing!

Anditstartsagain · 27/12/2017 15:13

In my family we all just dig in and open anything with our names on so when I had my first Christmas with dp where 7 people would sit watching you I found it weird. I still hate being watched it's so much pressure.

Gilly12345 · 27/12/2017 15:31

When I'm given a wrapped present I am always a bit apprehensive of what it may be and I smile and thank the person and hope that I appear genuine, if I give a wrapped present to someone I only buy what I would like to receive and hope i have chosen wisely, if I am given a present I don't like and this Christmas it was luxury cocktail truffles then I will be palming them off on to a non suspecting person ASAP.

DameDoom · 27/12/2017 15:35

Ooh, I love a nicely wrapped gift - I am Britain's crappest wrapper so do appreciate a bit of a Kirsty flourish.
My dad once gave me a present wrapped in black electrician's tape. Kept me busy for hours.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/12/2017 15:37

Your description made me laugh Lemon. I'm still worried that my joy wasn't convincing enough when I opened the slipper socks my mil gave me with knitted reindeer on.

MeadowHay · 27/12/2017 16:38

I'm still worried that my joy wasn't convincing enough when I opened the slipper socks my mil gave me with knitted reindeer on.

Haha, I would be made up with those! I think I don't mind it getting presents as I'm very easily pleased and it shows on my face without me having to try. It's very rare that I recieve something that I actively dislike, most of my regifting is just if I've already got like 5 of whatever it is already. Like there's only so many pairs of gloves and scarves I can really have at once but otherwise I don't dislike them per se.

ChickenPaws · 27/12/2017 16:44

The pil’s had formal gift opening where you had to do it one by one in front of everyone and it was awful. I hate receiving gifts too as I dislike the attention and fuss.

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