to have raised this with DH?

[BettyChristmas]

Backstory - I missed the ballot entry for 2 big races next year but DH entered one of the same and got in - all fine and we are off overseas for that in September.

I was still looking for an event and saw one for October (also overseas) that with a few months good training I could potentially get an automatic place from running a qualifying race. DH asked what the qualifying time is for his age group and now wants to enter too as he could easily qualify now based on his level.

AIBU that I told him it was unfair that he has jumped on my research and opportunity for October, especially since he’s also more likely to qualify than I am? We are already going overseas for his race in September and I feel I can’t do something for myself without him turning it into a competition. He has got the hump and can’t see why I don’t want to do it now because he wants to do it too.

Disclaimer - we also both work full time and have 3DC so it’s hard work as it is to fit in time to train, with me generally taking the lion’s share of organising childcare.

If you are saying that only one of you can be away at once because the other has to look after the DC, then YANBU to be cross that he wants to go away twice when you could have one turn each.

However, given that you talk about the missed deadline for September, it sounds like you can both go at once. So in that case YABU that DH wants to join you in October.

If it’s running, surely it’s not really competing against you? The only thing that I think could potentially be unfair is the training time, but you would already have time constraints if you are racing in October and he is racing in September.
And don’t sort out childcare for him go train if it’s not reciprocal.

I love entering races with my dp, it’s lovely to do something together, it’s certainly not a competition.

Maybe I overthink it and he doesn’t do it consciously I think but he manages to turn it into a competition and it’s put me off before.

Training time is already an issue as he trains 6 times a week and I struggle to get 4 in. I just train smarter not harder though

For example, discussing the qualifying times this morning and I’ll make the qualifying time if I train hard and his comment about his was ‘that’s easy, I could do that now’

Saying things like “that is easy I could do that” makes him an arse!!!
But training smarter is a good thing.
Just go for it - and ignore anything that doesn’t feel like support 🙂🙂

I got flights and accommodation to Chicago for Xmas. Dp has a good for age place 🙃 and I am support crew, So so so excited 🙂