Social media and children

[Ilovecamping]

I feel out of step sometimes being a grandparent, but there are age limits on social media like Facebook and Instagram for a reason. My 11 year old grandchildren have been allowed to access Instagram, (granddaughter managed to get Facebook account couple of years ago, now deleted) and I have just received friend request on Facebook from another 11 year old. Do parents care about protecting their children, is it just ignorance. What happened to parenting, they are still children and adults are responsible for them.

Something similar here. My friends 10 year old daughter added me on ig. I spoke to her mum who said shes keeping an eye on it. Her daughter is beautiful and in some of the pics she puts up she looks 14/15. Im very uncomfortable with it.

I think parenting is still happening, and of course parents care, just that for some parents it's ok for their children to be active on social media. I teach in an infant school and have had a couple of 'ooh' moments where I've seen children at my school active on Facebook through friends of friends.

Each to their own; DS1 is 12 and isn't interested in social media, despite mates of his having access to it. I think so long as children's accounts are monitored and secure it doesn't have to be a big deal and certainly doesn't mean they're not being parented.

It's pretty rude to assume all parents must be ignorant if they allow their DCs on social media; I'm sure when you parented your own DCs you did things differently to the way their Grandparents did and were judged just as much by the older generation.

You know, I agree with you OP. Makes my heard burst when I see my sister and all her mates on social media. Aside from the age, all they do is bitch and fight and share a load of shit 😂

It's a bit arbitrary in the UK, because it's based on the youngest age of children who go to High School (13). Which basically means parents in the US can say 'no SM until High School'. As children go to senior school at 11 here, it's a bit more difficult to enforce as they are at a school where everyone else has it and the social pressure is huge.

They al know their way around tech anyway, so I think it's much better to have a properly monitored account their parents can access so they are protected rather than them doing it on the sly. If an 11 year old is going round adding Grannies they know then it doesn't really sound like anything uninnocent is happening IYSWIM.

The reason for FB being 13, is something to do with USA law on storing information on children.

I know many responsible parents who allow their 11 year olds a FB account, when they're leaving primary school, so they can keep in touch with others who are going to different schools etc.

The parent makes the FB account, sets the security settings and the rules.

The rules are normally that they don't change the login details so the parent always has access. They have the parents/other family members as friends and they don't mess with security settings.

Other parents are irresponsible and just let their kids do what they like, whilst they bury their heads in the sand.

DD wanted SM in year 5. I held out. Then relented in Year 6 (with strict control) and discovered that she was one of only 3 children in her class who hadn't been online. She had Instagram first, then Musical.ly and she got Snapchat in Year 7.

She's now Year 8 It's absolutely fine. She's had no major problems and it's actually helped in a lot of ways. It widened her social circle, and it has been helpful with projects, friendships, homework and plans.

It's an easy choice for me because my 11 year old isn't interested in sm or even talking to friends on the phone yet. And all of the children from his primary school except 2 (and one of those is because he moved away) went to the same secondary school. So there is no point in him having social media accounts. I have a few of his friends mums as Facebook friends so sometimes he asks me to message them and ask a homework question.

I agree with you OP. My children are 12 (in Yr 7) and there's no way I'd let them be active on social media yet. There's just no need. They have WhatsApp to message their friends and there's no need for them to be talking to anyone else. My DS isn't interested and my DD was a bit cross with me in Yr 6 but then pleased when she started a new school in Yr 7 and the teachers praised the few children without an online presence - I think she felt quite proud.

My 11 and 13yr old do NOT have social media. I think it's awful personally.

My nieces have been on Instagram for a good couple of years now and they're 12 and 15. It's pretty cringey when they post "meaningful" lyrics or passive aggressive "you know who your real friends are" posts, but it's just innocent fun, and the majority of the stuff they post is just pictures of dogs or themselves in raccoon costumes. What they see other people post is a different matter though. I guess if the kids' accounts are monitored or they use them in the presence of an adult, that might be ok for young ones. They'll work it out themselves anyway eventually!

(I only have a baby but I'm already dreading having to deal with things like the internet and social media. )

I think there has to be a balance, because if you don’t allow access at all it can isolate them a bit.

I certainly don’t think it’s that parents “don’t care.”

That1950sMum, what is WhatsApp if it's not social media?

Is it classed differently due to being a free messaging service?

Worra I suppose it could be classed as social media, but they only use it for messaging friends about meeting up etc. They use it like texting, but the advantage is that its free.

Ahh right I get you 1950s. I wasn't sure because although I have WhatsApp to contact my son when he's at Uni, that's all I use it for.

I suppose some kids will use FB in a similar way and only have friends/family on there.

I do think it's down to how involved and clued up the parents are really.