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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my MIL could have cooked something else?

33 replies

sdaisy26 · 26/12/2017 23:21

So we moved to a bigger house this year & decided to host Christmas. Previously we've always (since we got married 10 years ago) alternated 1 year at my parents', next year at in laws'.

This year would have been a PIL year. We invited them plus my parents plus assorted siblings, grandparents etc.

MIL said they would like to host Boxing Day (all the same people, most stayed at ours last night) & tho' I would have liked everyone here throughout accepted she wanted to & said thank you v much etc.

Off we went today, bearing the specific leftovers she'd requested from yesterday's meal. Only for her to serve up a whole new Christmas dinner. Turkey, sprouts, two stuffings...the works. Literally the only thing she used of the leftovers she had asked us to take was the gravy (which she watered down & then blended so it was inedible). And as we sat down she actually said 'well, it was hard to beat sdaisy's effort yesterday'.

So AIBU to think this was a bit off & she could have cooked something else instead of turning it in to a competition?!

OP posts:
Original poster
sdaisy26 · 27/12/2017 00:00

I think I took the 'it was hard to beat' comment with an implied 'but of course I have' after it but probably was being oversensitive (I didn't let on any of this to anyone else btw, am not a horrible dil/guest & it was nice not to have to host today - hadn't appreciated quite how much time I would spend in the kitchen yesterday!)

It's not the usual thing in either of our families to have a second roast on Boxing Day & I guess I see it as she has her chance to do the full roast later in the week. So I think it was a bit...something.

But will leave this now with the knowledge that yes we are v fortunate to have lots of loving family members to spend Christmas with so never mind what we ate :)

OP posts:
Original poster
sdaisy26 · 27/12/2017 00:07

And the 'her turn' thing. This is just what dh & I have done in the past to make it easiest for everyone - it's more been about these are the people we (dh & I) will be with on Christmas Day. So we were still with them just in a different location this year (like we were when we went away with them one year for eg). There are several other siblings & they have hosted PIL in the past / also alternate their Christmas days with PIL but the other way round from us if that makes sense.

So it's not quite as rigid as I realise I made it sound in op.

OP posts:
LeggyLinda · 27/12/2017 00:43

I’ve seen a few Christmas aibu posts this year. And yours yours is the only one I’ve replied to. I think that may be because I can sort of relate

Like I said above previously, the most important thing is that you are all together and happy.

After thinking about it, We found ourselves in a situation not a million miles away from yours a few years back. We had just moved back to the village where my mother was used to hosting. However, due to growing families, her home was not completely suitable for large gatherings and she (admitted she could no longer be bothered with it).

We hosted that year. It was hard work, but was almost like a family reunion/house warming too. Slightly different situation to you I expect. But the point is, DM plans her Christmas (well a lot of the food anyway) by paying weekly stamps to the milkman and so she had all this Christmas dinner food planned before. In our case it proved no problem (except a little guilt on our part when we found out), and subsequent years have allowed her to use her food hamper vouchers for other Christmas party type gatherings.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble. But I only use that example in the hope that it may highlight the fact there may be a million reasons your MIL cooked another Christmas dinner - this being just one. Chances are there was only one reason she invited the same people to share it - you all get on and are happy in each other’s company. Without anything else to the contrary I’d believe that.

Too many people have had a troublesome Christmas (that’s just from reading here); and many more have probably had a awful time around the world.

YANBU to feel a little put out or forced into a competition. But only if you see it that way. I don’t know your family background obviously, but notwithstanding anything else, don’t see it that way is may advice - just enjoy this time of year fir what it is.

Sorry again for the rabbling reply.

Corneliusmurphy · 27/12/2017 00:49

Had she been shopping today? Dp popped in for beer and came out with a turkey crown for under £2 and full size turkey for under £3 which went in the freezer but if I'd not already had defrosted meat to use I'd have just cooked one.

snowsnowsnowsnow · 27/12/2017 01:15

I would be gutted about losing my leftovers and having to cook at home for next few days ... or did you get a "doggy bag"?!

JennyWoodentop · 27/12/2017 01:30

OK......... I get the comments about lpeople having multiple Christmas dinners over the holiday period as they visit farious family members.

But:

  • she cooked the exact same dinner as you for the same people
  • she made the comment about yours being hard to beat
  • it was "her turn" to host this year
  • she had you bring your leftovers & either didn't use them or ruined them

So - you posted this - do you think she lacks imagination on what to cook for a crowd at Christmas and just did her default fall back menu despite it being what you'd made? Or is the reason you posted that you think there's something else to it? If so, I'm guessing there's a back story we haven't heard.......

Skowvegas · 27/12/2017 02:20

One turkey dinner is bad enough.

Two in two days...

IvorBiggun · 27/12/2017 02:30

It’s weird.

Yanbu.

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