To ask for your non-traditional (and selfish) ways to spend Christmas?

[auldlangsyne]

I have always loved everything about Christmas however since DH and I married four years ago what used to be a very relaxing and enjoyable day has become more challenging due to the various family politics surrounding the day. It has begun to feel less like a celebration and more like an exercise at keeping other people happy (and one that we never seem to be able to get right, either!) Yesterday in particular we ended the day feeling really deflated and upset about how Christmas had been spent, after a long day spent running between various family members' homes trying to please everyone else, with the only result being a day full of tension and rude, passive aggressive comments from DH's siblings.

We have both begun to think that we should begin carving out our own Christmas traditions and whilst I'm sure we will continue to see our parents over the Christmas period I do think perhaps we should worry less about what others want us to do and more about creating our own version of the holiday. My parents wouldn't mind if we switched things up occasionally as they're very easy going, and with no DC's to consider we can be flexible. DH's parents probably would mind but right now I can't stand the idea of a repeat of yesterday!

AIBU to ask for your suggestions for alternative ways to spend Christmas day? We're not ruling out the (very tempting) idea of battening down the hatches and spending all day in our own home eating amazing take away and binging on boxsets, but I'd love to hear other non-traditional suggestions for ways to spend Christmas day or your real life experiences. Would you escape on a cheap break abroad? Book a fancy lunch at a beautiful restaurant or cosy pub (we've always eaten Christmas dinner at home so no idea if this lives up to the hype). Would you find a cabin in a remote part of the country and lock yourselves away or volunteer at your local age awareness Christmas dinner to help combat loneliness? Has anyone ever spent Christmas in Paris or another large city? Is it possible to go to the theatre or a show on Christmas day or is most entertainment usually closed for the day? I would love to hear your suggestions or personal stories of how you've made Christmas special on your own terms.

I spent Christmas in Hong Kong a few years ago. Everything was open and public transport still ran on Christmas Day. We spent Christmas Day at Disneyland and had a fab time generally. It was also a great time of year to visit the city in terms of weather. It was warm but not uncomfortably hot.

We go abroad now, every year. It's the only way we survive it. Can't stand the commercialism and expectations at home.

I don't know if having children is on your agenda one day but personally I think until then I'd do just what the two of you want to do. Be it hide yourselves away in a remote place or party the break away in some exotic location. One day you might have to ' tow' the line so to speak with little ones around or if parents become aged.

I'm currently in SoCal and everything is open today (Boxing Day) which feels very wrong to me in many ways but then again we just had a lovely brunch at a local french bistro with bottomless mimosas (We walked, didn't drive)

It feels extra lovely because we were supposed to be in a cold, snowy place with about 50 inlaws for Christmas (they're lovely but in those numbers...!) However, somebody ahem... forgot to book boarding for our dogs in time and they were full up, hence we are "stuck" here :)

I've only spent two of the last 8 christmases in my home country.
Places I've spent Xmas include Australia, Germany, Thailand, France, Fiji and USA.
My partner has to take a few weeks off every Xmas as his office closes, so it works for us to be away then.

We always have a fantastic Christmas because we very firmly do only what suits us. This year, it's been just me and DH at home, lovely food we've chosen and cooked together, films we've been meaning to watch all year, board games we both want to play. Just me and him, all relaxed. No pressure, no visitors. Absolute bliss.

I spent xmas afternoon in hospital

Would not recommend

Op out family had just exactly your experiences over too many years with in laws, extended family taking our hospitality for granted and using our Christmas celebration as an excuse to argue in our house. We eventually got sick of it so we took off for to a hotel in the Canaries for the next few Christmasses. It was bliss and immediate family loved it. Sod keeping people happy or feeling under an obligation. Do what’s right for you , your Dh and nearest and dearest!

After a couple of Christmases spent with too many relatives in a too small house we announced we would be spending christmas alone from now on, my parents were fine as that’s what we’d always done when I was younger, PIL pushed back a bit and when I was pregnant tried to insist that they’d HAVE to see their grandchild on Christmas Day but we just said no, that’s not happening with a smile and changed the subject.

So now we stay in pjs all day, unless the weather is nice enough to go for a walk, eat what we want when we want and open all of our presents first thing. It’s soooo relaxing!

After moving to the US, my inlaws taught me that Jewish families here eat Chinese food and go to the movies on December 25th. The cinemas in the UK are probably closed, but you could get in the spirit by ordering take out and watching movies at home! If anyone complains, you can at least say it's traditionally...

nice article about it here and more links here

I spent christmas in Bali one year, up at 5am to go dolphin watching on a boat, back for a lazy lunch.

Not a christmas card or piece of tinsel in sight.

I strongly suggest a holiday to a country where Christmas is not a national holiday. See the sights, enjoy a swim or spa day in a hotel. Fantastic. Let everyone back at home run themselves ragged and remember to email a lovely selfie of you poolside or such to those pa relatives with a "don't get your tinsel in a tangle" type witticism.