Husband going on holiday with chums...

[sallythesheep73]

Just that really.. we have 2 smallish kids. I work full time, DH is at home to take them to school etc. He goes out to the pub once a fortnight or so. He has a week abroad once a year with chums, which I don't mind.
Because I work long hours and inevitably look after the kids at weekends I don't have time for hobbies. DH has multiple hobbies. I resent the free time he has. If we talk about he just gets angry and shouts.
Today I realized this year he has booked himself 2 separate 1 week trips with chums.. I felt sick with pissed off ishness.
I can't imagine anyone else on the planet has 2 weeks 'off' a year.
He puts no time into planning family holidays as apparently that is also my job.
AIBU?

Yabu not to book yourself a trip or two and leave him with the dc. Non negotiable.

I have considered this. The only snag is I then feel guilty for the kids. If I take them with me it is less restful got me and tbh better for him so I can't win either way?

Book yourself and the kids on an even nicer holiday?

Ask him how he intends to pay for it if you earn all the money?

Open your own private bank account and have your salary paid into that. Then set up a Direct Debit for food/bills etc to a joint account?

Stop feeling guilty... they're his Kids too.. does he share your guilt ?

chums sounds nice, like rupert bear

Nice Flouncy!

If the sexes were reversed you wouldn’t say that!

If you can’t talk about the division of labour in your household without him getting angry and shouting, he sounds like a bully. One who is getting everything he wants and knows it.

Obviously you should have as much time to yourself as he does. What could possibly be his justification for it being any other way?

Book a holiday for a long weekend or week yourself.

Get a hobby or two. You are both parents.

You say DH is at home to take the kids to school - was this a joint decision that he will be a SAHP? Because it doesn't sound like it's really working out for you, if you're resentful and he's shouting when you try to discuss it.

I think, in a marriage, when you start talking about division of labour and responsibilities in terms of "winning" you've already lost.

He sounds a selfish bastard and you sound like a mug putting up with it