Separation anxiety

[melclaire1111]

Posting here for traffic as really need some advice.

DC is 20 months old and has always been very clingy with me, but has recently become so much worse. I literally cannot leave a room for 5 seconds without DC screaming the place down. Even if daddy is in the room. Goes to sleep ok at night but then if wakes in the Night it can take me 2 hours to get them back into bed.

It's starting to cause massive problems with my husband as he feels like a spectator as DC will only go to me. In all fairness he does work shifts and has a lot more days out than I do so quite often it's just me and DC.

Yesterday was very stressful as I tried to cook dinner for 11 people with a very clingy toddler and it just caused so many arguments. I try and work with DC and let them see what i am doing (have brought oven guards and steps so they can see and 'help' but hubby insisted the rest of the family were missing out on time with DC so tried to make them stay in the other room with the door and gate closed which resulted in hysterical screaming!

Anyone have any suggestions on how to cope with separation anxiety? I'm sure it's a phase that will pass which is why I'm trying to work through it, but hubby keeps telling me its my fault in how I have been around DC and nothing we can do about it!

It's pretty normal, going through it with DS 16 months ATM. Your husband needs to push through a bit more and work harder to distract and entertain him. You need to not run every time he cries and let DH deal with the tears. It's too easy to panic when they cry but actually your DH needs to learn how to soothe him too.

How has he coped in the past when you aren’t there or when your DH went into settle him? How is he at nursery?

Dh isn't the best at trying to settle DC as he gets frustrated that all they want is mummy and quite often just let's them scream while sitting on his phone.

Nursery drop off are generally fine, DC will run in and go and play, usually forgetting I'm even going then come back for a kiss and cuddle before going again!

Also I tend to do most of the Night wakings as dh works nights and is a terrible sleeper so they're generally left to me

It’s normal. At some point it’ll all be for daddy and not you and you’ll actually get to pee in peace.

He needs not to take
It personally.

It's his fault thenas he's not actually engaging them

If your DC is fine going to nursery then it does sound like your husband needs to get off his phone and entertain his child. Sometimes it does take perserverance but he s got to stick with it rather than get frustrated. My DC is much younger but going through this. When my DC is distracted enough they don't even realise I'm not there, if not distracted will repeatedly sob and shout mama constantly