To ask what you do with cash gifted to your kids?

[Monoblock67]

DS1 + 2 (aged 2 + 4) have been gifted some cash as part of their Christmas, £40 in total each.

I struggle with how to spend it each year, so can I ask, do you:

1. keep it till they need it for practical stuff (socks, clothes, shoes) etc. Which I’m not against but at the same time I feel a bit bad spending ‘their’ money on practical stuff when as a parent I should be providing it anyway.

2. put it towards their birthdays (both in January) so they can get bigger/more presents, which again feels cheeky

3. let them have at it and buy whatever they want, which results in meltdowns in the shop when they want a bigger present than they can buy, as they don’t ‘get’ the £40 limit (well the big one does but the little one doesn’t)

4. let them have at it and buy whatever they want which results in more useless clutter

5. suggest what they buy-which I don’t particularly like as as child my mum forever ‘told’ me what to spend my money on

Help!! I’m driving myself mad over something so bloody ridiculous

I’d suggest a savings account that you control, my parents put my birthday money into an account I could access and I’d wasted the lot by the time I was 14, whereas my DHs parents saved all of his child benefit money for him in a bond and he now has nearly £20k!

For our dd it’s all going into an account and it will be made clear to her, when she’s old enough to understand, that it’s for her future, so for education or a house deposit. The only money that doesn’t go into the account is from my Granny who always specifys that it is to buy her a toy with, so that’s what I do.

It would be nice to let her waste the lot when she’s 18 but the reality is it’s getting harder and harder to get on the property ladder and it makes sense to start saving for that now.

Half in trust funds, the other half to spend as they wish.

I’m really sorry but I don’t think you should be spending it on clothes or shoes as some other posters are. You as the parents should be providing basics such as clothes and shoes for your children!

Once again,some MN posters showing such little empathy for the position other families might find themselves in. I think it is a fairly likely assumption that families who are putting money given to them towards shoes, are in a position where they struggle to afford shoes for there child(ren). In the case of which, a decent pair of shoes which allow small feet to grow, and that keep the child warm and dry throughout the Winter is a far greater gift than another toy.

It's supposed to be so that the person can choose their own gift or put towards a larger item. It's not there to fund essentials as the parents don't want too. Really ? are you so ignorant that you do not realise a lot of families struggle daily on the budget they have. Are you seriously suggesting there is any family out there who "doesn't want to" buy their child a new pair of shoes when they need them ? Surely no-one can be that closeted in their own privileged world?

It's supposed to be so that the person can choose their own gift or put towards a larger item

The OP's dc are 2 and 4 - not really an age where they have a long wish list of things they will know they will like. Don't get me wrong, I've used money given to my dc to buy a swing and climbing frame for the garden - and think that's great, but often (particularly if part of a larger family) dc just don't need any more toys at that age.

I agree with Idefinitelywould. If the giver has specifications it need to be spent on more toys they don't need then they need to go out and buy those toys themselves. Cash is for the parents of littlies to decide what to do with. Exception being like StripySocks says where an older relative, or one who lives a long way away, asks the parent if they would buy a toy on their behalf.

We put it in their savings accounts. Our 3 year old has over £5,000 from us saving £50 a month and savings

This.
Always save. You’d be surprised how it might add up.

Straight into bank accounts. I never let them have a pound as they would literally spend it all on tat. Saving those amounts over the years really really does add up as someone else said. Never know what they could put it towards when they’re much older.

Tbh anything under 50 each i would let them spend or arrange a trip somewhere like to a musical or something

I agree with most, allow them to spend a small % on what they want and save the rest but it would be for special a day out or holiday, it would also be nice if they could use it to buy their sibling or friend a birthday / christmas present.

OK - having read more of the thread I see that most posters who are saying immediately save are talking about much larger amounts than DS has ever received!

All those £20, £40 adds up though

IN your case I would save sp with birthdays coming up in January. I imagine you will struggle what to even buy.

Maybe spend some on outdoor toys in the summer.

I also think if you are struggling and a child growing up in poverty with money in the bank is crazy.. not saying this is your situation Op just some people are in very different positions.

The first year my DS was born we was extremely skint, so we put it towards the practical stuff and/or a trip out.

If you can afford to save it in an account for them then do, but it will still be £40 in ten years time if you can’t afford to regularly save, especially with current interest rates!

I would put it in a jar in the kitchen and save it for a nice day out, train tickets to somewhere you wouldn’t normally go, or for clothes in the sales when they next go up a size x

Yes but we're talking £20 or £40 in total per birthday - £500 at 18 isn't going to be worth that much in comparison to the joy of going shopping for something that we wouldn't have been able to buy him otherwise, IMO.

I do take it off him and make him specifically ask for what to buy/a shopping trip though, after seeing him fritter last year's birthday and Christmas money away on sweets after school every day!

my DS (10) has received Christmas money..He has decided to put it into bank . I asked him if there was anything he wanted to spend it on..He has got all he has wanted and more for Christmas.

Backforgood, just my view. I never said you had to agree with it.
I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. And I never said buy another toy instead of shoes.

If you cannot afford the basics, what would
You do if the cash wasn’t received for you to buy shoes instead? Gifts are a bonus in MY view. You shouldn’t be using other people’s generosity and taking your child’s
money to buy basic items.

Just my view. I know the very left wing, socialists that are common on MN won’t agree.

I'm with you Jess. If I couldn't afford the basics for a child I'd not be having one or working my backside off to ensure I could.

I'd not be using their gift money to fulfill my obligations. Its theirs, it doesn't belong to the parent nor was it given to the parent.

I’m only talking about relatively small amounts - £20 or even £10 here and there. It all adds up but I do agree, if I needed money to buy children’s shoes or a coat I would do this first. The only thing I wouldn’t do is fritter it away on cheap toys or magazines.

Bertie I'm one of those parents who would put odd tenners or a £20 note away for each of my dc when they got cash for birthdays and Christmas. Never had the kind of investments that some folk are talking about, but I now have a 21, 19, and 16 yr old who were very glad I did it, when they had £1000 plus at 18. As someone else said it is enough for their first car insurance, or a months railcard to go traveling round Europe, or would have been more than enough for driving lessons had they not got jobs to pay for them when 17. No, it's not going to reach 'house deposit proportions, but £1000+ at that age was very warmly welcomed. The £20 from Great Grandparent wasn't missed as it came at a time when they had gifts from other family members (or friends at birthdays) anyway. It's not like the £10 or £20 note was the only gift they had at the time and it was taken from their hands.

Shove it in the bank. I figure my DCs will appreciate it when they need something important.

Saying that at DD 5th birthday I was surprised by the amount of school friends who gave cash in cards, I used that money to pay for a term at dance class

Savings account 👍 I feel your pain, DS birthday is January and he has got some lovely toys for presents this year, but I know lots of family don't know what to get him so asked f it was ok to gift money. I said of course it will go in his savings and he can have it when e wants something/in the summer for a new thing

Yes I suppose, that does make sense.

4

DD is 7 and has about £12k saved already - and that’s with her only saving half of her cash gifts. (I save £100 per month for her as well.)

Mostly into savings here, with some put into his wallet for splurges (like extra fairground rides, magazines or really wanted toys). It does add up quickly in the bank and his wallet never seems to be empty!

My first DD I used to spend any money given, usually on toys. When she turned 17 and I was paying out for driving lessons, her going off to uni etc I soon realised that I should have saved the money rather than spend it on plastic tat. With my 2 younger DC's I've learned my lesson and every penny they get goes in the bank, I also started cutting back at birthdays and Xmas as the more money in the bank for their teenage years is more important than a mountain of toys that end up given away/binned.