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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think 26 isn't that old to not be married?

54 replies

CurlyRover · 26/12/2017 18:20

I'm currently reading me before you. Just got to the bit where the main guy character asks the main girl character why she hasn't ever been married. The way it's asked suggests he's shocked she hasn't been. But she's only 26! She was too embarrassed to tell him she'd never been asked.

That really isn't that old to have not been married or to have not been asked is it?

I'm 27 and although I have been asked, I thank my lucky stars I didn't go through with it. I wasn't feeling bad about the fact DP and I are not engaged, we've only been together a few years. But now I'm starting to think maybe I'm past it and I hadn't even realised!!

OP posts:
holidayparkquestion · 26/12/2017 19:11

29 is the average age to have a first baby so presumably people hope to be a long term relationship/marriage by then.

For all those who move in circles where later relationships are common there's a whole world where people leave schoo at 16 and have kids by 20.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/12/2017 19:15

I think the average age to have a first baby is now 30 not 29 holiday.
Also, it doesn't follow that people hope to be ready for a baby by that age. As you mention, people who have children young bring the average down. The women I know mainly hoped to have children in their early 30s.

Humpsfor20yards · 26/12/2017 19:15

29 is the average age to have a first baby so presumably people hope to be a long term relationship/marriage by then

do most people decide what they want by the average age of doing something then? I didn't realise this.

PaxUniversalis · 26/12/2017 19:17

I promised myself that I would NOT get married before the age of 30. Grin

Glowerglass · 26/12/2017 19:18

I wasn't married at 26. I had been asked though.

FlakeBook · 26/12/2017 19:19

26 is a frigging baby. I only wish I'd realised this when I was 26 and my mum was making me feel like a freak for being left on the shelf, so I panicked and married as soon as I had the chance.

greendale17 · 26/12/2017 19:19

That's nuts! None of my friends were married or even engaged at 26.

^Same here

MirandaWest · 26/12/2017 19:20

I got married at 23. Was too young, in retrospect

deptfordgirl · 26/12/2017 19:21

I married at 30, only met dh at 28 and was wondering if I would ever marry. However I'm really glad I didn't marry and have children until my 30s. I enjoyed focusing on my career, friends, travelling and generally doing lots of things that I can't easily do now in my 20s.

GingerbreadMa · 26/12/2017 19:25

Almost all of my friends and aquaintances were either engaged, married or in LTRs at that age.

Of the ones that werent, all but 2 are still single and only one of them had children (we're now all at an age where children are unlikely to be an option if we havent already had them)

It has in my circle been somewhat of a cut off.

ShakeShakeTheMuffin · 26/12/2017 19:34

I met DH at 28. Got married when I was 39! He waited until I was 5 months pregnant before proposing! I remember wearing loose clothing when shopping for engagement ring. Blush Got married after DD was born.

meltingsugar · 26/12/2017 21:32

Disappointed at the 'enjoy being unmarried' type comments. Not sure what I've missed out on by getting married in my 20's? All I can think is dating more people, but I (clearly) haven't felt the need to. There is no right and wrong. Live your life as you want to. I'd say mid 20's is on the lower end of most getting married, but the same can be said for getting a mortgage and having kids, and people certainly don't think it's good to delay the middle one unnecessarily. I am a graduate not a straight school leader, and we are very much enjoying the DINKY years. We average two holidays a year and are on our second (mortgaged) house, theoretically will never need to move space wise. I'm sure many will think we are really boring, but most of our friends always say they wish they had what we have/knew where they were going as much as we did on our way to where we are.

BrokenHollandaise · 26/12/2017 21:38

I got married at 25. Everyone (my family) thought it was because I was pregnant.

My divorce came in 1 month before what should've been my 6th anniversary.

After me and dp moved in together and I was pregnant!

80sMum · 26/12/2017 21:41

40 or 50 years ago, women would have been labelled "on the shelf" if still unmarried at, say, 30. At 26, it would have been the norm to be already married.

My sisters and I all married young, at 18, 20 and 21. That was perfectly normal back in the 70s.

Nowadays, who cares if you're married or not anyway? Anything goes!

60sname · 26/12/2017 21:44

The first of my friends to marry was 26. At the time I was single and starting to get twitchy. Met DH at 27 and married at 31.

Most people I know married between 28-32ish.

kaytee87 · 26/12/2017 21:45

No it's not old to not be married. It's only a book though.

lanbro · 26/12/2017 21:48

30 here but wish I hadn't bothered, separated 8 years later!!

deadringer · 26/12/2017 21:58

My dd is 27, single and very happy to be so. She has a vague idea that she might meet someone when she is around 30 or so and start thinking about the possibility of settling down. 26 is no age at all, the idea of women panicking if the don't have a dp in their late 20s is alien to her, and to me. I was the first of my friends to get married at 23, now I feel it was far too young, for me at least.

starzig · 26/12/2017 21:58

Depends on the person and lifestyle. I find professional people tend to marry later. Might be due to extended education means you don't grow up as quickly and you probably won't be settled into a town and job until a little later.

Airbiscuits · 26/12/2017 22:20

Marry young, marry twice

What’s the rush? I think I would have got it totally wrong before about 28 or so.

Lizzie48 · 26/12/2017 22:46

I think my DSis was panicked into getting married at 29. He was abusive, the marriage broke down 2 years later. She married her second husband at 36, they're now blissfully happy with a family.

I met my now husband at 32, married at 33, and we've now been married for 14 years.

26 is definitely not too old!!

annandale · 26/12/2017 22:51

I thought I needed to be married at 26, for me I was stupidly young then but some people are more mature. It wouldn't be a shock for someone to marry by 26 but it's still youngish these days.

Speaking as someone who often takes relationship advice from books, remember the author was probably hammering out that scene at 4am for a 9am deadline, don't take fiction as a guide for living.

Xihha · 26/12/2017 23:07

im 29 and fb tells me a few of my school friends got engagement rings for Christmas, so I wouldn't say 26 is old not to be married. How old is the book though?

IHaveACuntingPlan · 26/12/2017 23:07

Is it heck. I was single at 26 and had been for a number of years. I didn't meet dh until I was 28. I only know of two couples who married young, everyone else has waited until their thirties.

PrivatePike · 26/12/2017 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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