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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say fuck it's and leave them to sort it out

10 replies

Happyhippy45 · 26/12/2017 13:28

Family are coming over today. I'm have mobility issues/disability and not able to help much with the preparations.
I was asked by dh to make a list and him and Ds would get it all done over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, just leaving a few last minute bits to do today.
Dh procrastinated and has left far too many jobs to get done before our guests arrive. I'm getting really twitchy. Ds has gotten distracted by a video game and also did most of his list of chores in plenty time but still has a few bits to do. I'm reluctant to nag him because he's been so helpful.
I'm really annoyed with dh. He is doing bare minimum cleaning/clearing up because and he pretty much needs walked through every step of the way of each job. He asks for guidance....I'd rather he just got on with it.
Guest bed still to be made. Bathroom still to be cleaned. Food to be cooked. Table to be set....plus loads of other things and guest arrive in 1 1/2 hours. They are also bringing a significant part of dinner.....so he doesn't have to cook much at all.
Dh says he has plenty of time....and to get Ds to do stuff.
Previous years I'd be doing practically all of this myself. Really pisses me off that he can't make more of an effort. I'm so frustrated not being able to do what needs done. It's like torture.

OP posts:
Happyhippy45 · 26/12/2017 13:32

**fuck it

OP posts:
Motoko · 26/12/2017 13:35

DS can set the table, but if the other stuff doesn't get done in time, just apologise to your guests. Them actually being there should chivvy your husband along, as he won't want to look like he's useless.

NeverUseThisName · 26/12/2017 13:39

Go and have a nice long bath, or a nap, or whatever is pleasant for you and makes you unavailable. They said they'd deal with, so leave them to it. No chivying, no taking over, no recriminations if it doesn't go quite to plan - do not waste any emotional energy on it.

NeverUseThisName · 26/12/2017 13:39

Ie YANBU Xmas Wink

mummmy2017 · 26/12/2017 13:39

Stop stressing , and just get others to help when they arrive, better than sitting like a stuffed dummy...

Happyhippy45 · 26/12/2017 14:46

Ds is busy tidying up. Dh will get distracted by guests and wine and end up losing track of what needs doing and I'll appear like a moany old cow.

OP posts:
NeverUseThisName · 26/12/2017 15:47

So don't moan. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Do not lift a finger. Let him deal with it all. If anyone queries say "Oh, dh is in charge" and move on.

Do the swan thing: let it just wash over you and then run off without wetting or ruffling a single feather.

NewLove · 26/12/2017 18:32

Let him deal with it all. If anyone queries say "Oh, dh is in charge" and move on.

This 100%!

TonTonMacoute · 26/12/2017 19:18

I absolutely know where you are coming from here, OP, it would drive me bonkers too, but you must just let them get on with it. It’s just possible that your DH will finally realise what bloody hard work it is (unlikely).

Happyhippy45 · 26/12/2017 23:47

He ended up feeling a bit sorry for himself because he had all that work to do.......still not as much work as I used to do. He did ok and I managed for the most part to not remind him that things needed doing. I was getting slight evils from my MIL making her poor wee boy work so hard. Kind of backfired as my sister ended up doing to much IMO.
DS was a star. He did loads.

OP posts:
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