Constant feeding AIBU

[3ambanana]

Ok, so driven home from parents in a strop.
Bit of background - my Mother is someone who has many issues with food and has pushed a lot of this onto me and my brothers. She also has a lot of ideas about how much and what I should be eating while continually feeding my brothers and DD (4). She also eats very little herself, just prepares stuff for other people. My parents live some distance away and bring chocolate etc… in huge quantities whenever they come to see us.
This morning my Mum gave DD cocopops (brought in specially) for breakfast at 7. Then at 9am asked her if she wanted a bacon sandwich. To which I said no, she can have one for lunch. If you'd been planning on making bacon sandwiches why didn't you tell us and we'd have waited. So then my Mum goes and wakes my 33 year old brother (no sign of life yet) and asks him if he wants one. Of course DD isn't going to let Uncle eat one without having one herself so I did get a bit cross, she was undermining me, and asked why they couldn't just wait and why he wasn't capable of making his own breakfast, like I did. She would never make a bacon sandwich for me, or herself.
Cue my Mum shouting and bursting into tears about working her ass off (she did xmas dinner yesterday - only because they won't come to us, I'd have rather stayed at home but I thought DD would want to see them, and vice versa) and my Dad started shouting at me for being unreasonable. Really shouting so I packed up, let my DD eat said sandwich and left.

No one apologised. I am currently pregnant and exhausted and prob over emotional. Maybe I should apologise? DH stayed silent throughout and prob thinks I'm being a twat. AIBU?

Your mother sounds emotionally immature to be honest. She sounds like she has a lot of issues. She does the bursting into tears and plays her 'I'm the victim here not you!' Card. Then your Dad plays the 'you've gone and upset her now!' Card. Your Dad is probably really angry with your Mum but it's easier for him to the blame on you because your Mum just cries when people get upset.
Some people with anxiety about food often eat very little themselves but are constantly thinking about food and cooking it for other people. They will get ideas into their heads about food (eg. bacon sandwiches) and then can't rest until someone has eaten them...because they won't allow themselves one. So your Mum has a lot of urges about food so food has to be prepared and pushed on people because she can't allow herself to eat it. Therefore meal times and appetites don't matter because it's not about nutrition it's about anxiety.