To ask what you think of his reaction to my bad experience

[thankgoditsdone]

I have a lot of horrible nightmares which involve being forced to do things I don't want to. They happen sometimes three or four times a week when I go through stressful times in my life. I don't think about them too much as I'm used to them, but last night I told short term boyfriend about a bad sexual experience that I had when I was 18 which was really upsetting and confusing for me at the time.

He probed me as to why I kept having the nightmares, and when I finally opened up about what had happened to me, he said "That's enough, I don't want to hear any more", turned over, and got in a mood with me.

I went on to say it doesn't bother me anymore, but I felt like he was in a real huff about it.

This morning he messaged me to say he's angry and upset that I didn't comfort him after I told him the story.

AIBU to think this isn't about him and he should have been comforting me, not the other way round?

My ex did something similar. I told him of a bad experience and rather than comfort me he didn't want to hear and made me feel really ashamed.
It was one of many red flags and if I had valued myself more and had better self esteem I would have told him to shove it. Though having said that, then I probably would never have dated him in the first place!! I wish MN had been around to tell me I could do better

I'm sorry, he thinks YOU should comfort HIM because HE'S upset about something that happened to YOU?

You will never ever get any emotional support from this man, run a mile.

Going against the grain here.

This exact situation happened to me. I had night terrors relating to being raped aged 20.

I told my DP why this happened after 4 months together. He cut me off halfway through and was really short about it. After he said it made him sad and it was too much to handle.

He cried a month later ish, and said he didn't know how to handle it. He was shocked. He was nervous about what he was going to hear. He said the woman he loved was hurt in the worst possible way. When we broke up first time I told him everything and he sat there silently crying.

Speak to him. It's hard to hear.

[Flowers] to you

I get nightmares / struggle to sleep when sharing a bed with someone for the first time (well used to, there won’t be anymore first times now as I’m married!)

So, I used to have the rule no shagging on first date, second date, if shagging looks likely, explain my past (well, the lite version ) so all would be clear.

I have experienced a range of reactions, from compassion, to why is that relevant to me now, to being turned on by the tale of my being raped.

The lesson I learned is not to stay with anyone who had a selfish or unkind reaction. It’s an insight into their core. This guy sounds selfish and narcissistic to the bone.