To ask you to help me make a plan?

[NomsQualityStreets]

Apologies I might be overthinking this.

Recently had DC2 (3 weeks old) also have a toddler DC.

We've been very lucky as due to the nature of DPs job and Christmas etc he has been able to have a full month off with us, it's been a huge help having him around as Ive mainly been stuck on sofa BFing.

He's due back at work after the New Years and it's long hours and very demanding and I'm struggling to imagine how I'm going to cope with both DCs, the house and cooking etc once I'm on my own.

DC2 doesn't like being put down for longer than a few mins when he's awake and sometimes when he's asleep will wake up as soon as I try and put him down too.

I need to run DC1 to nursery 2 mornings a week for 9 and ATM I'm basically a half asleep, PJ wearing zombie till about 10 due to DC2 weird sleep pattern but once I'm on my own I will need to be up, dressed and ready, have DC1 fed and dressed and baby ready and fed to do the nursery run at 8.30

AIBU to ask you to help me make a little "plan" to at least try to be organised? Anyone have any tips for me?
How do I manage to get ready? And how do I organise my time with 2 DCs, tidying, cooking, bedtimes etc?

Night before - all. Aha packed shoes ready in the hall
Baby can go 'as is' in a snowsuit - fed not fed changed not changed - they can wait

DH has a week off when I had a toddler and twins - anythingbos possible if you cut corners and lower you household expectations

DH needs to step up and help with housework when the kids are asleep - or one does bedtime the other cooks/cleans.

Example, he baths the older one while you cook. Then after tea you put the kids to bed while he cleans the kitchen, puts a wash on and tidy round the living room

Sat down for 8pm

Morning routine; feed baby, breakfast for you and toddler. Get yourself and toddler dressed. Put a wash on if needed. Quick breastfeed and go. Dress baby when you get home (nobody will care if he's in his sleepsuit). Hang washing out. While toddler is at nursery, make some sandwiches and put them in the fridge for when he gets back. Set up an activity or book etc for toddler while doing afternoon feeds. Make something for dinner that you can cook gradually like a casserole (something that doesn't need constant attention). Other housework can wait until weekend. Ask DH to wash up while you're doing the evening feed. Unfortunately it does mean a certain amount of letting the baby cry for a minute but a sling can help with that. As for baby's naps, you could try getting them to sleep in the pushchair so you'll then have your hands free.

Ultimately, prioritise cooking, washing and feeding. The rest can wait. Could your DH start making himself a packed lunch in the evening and basically make packed lunches for you all at the same time? I've done this a few times and it really helps when you've got a hungry toddler just come home from nursery.

Anyway, this is what worked for us, hope it helps. I was lucky to have a DH who could get home in time to eat with us all, that made a huge difference.

Wear pj's that are like leggings and t-shift, jogging bottoms style. That way even you haven't time to dress yourself, run a brush through your hair and throw on some trainers and you are good to go just for drop off.

You DH needs to start making dinner before he leaves- he can have it all ready to go into a slow cooker and all you need to do is either turn it on or turn it off when it's ready. He also needs to start doing cleaning/tidying after he's home from work. And then on a weekend divide the big jobs and do 50:50

DP has already been a big help over the time he's had off but unfortunately due to his job a lot of the time he might not have the time to do much around the house to help.
He will also have to be away for 3 nights in Feb so all bedtimes will be on me which I'm petrified of.

I think the main thing for me is to feel half human as I do everything and not end up still in a sweaty dressing gown at 1pm as I've found not being ready for the day makes me feel really low and also affects how I get on with things.

I'm also not sure how to do things if baby cries as soon as i put him down, do I just let him cry? I've heard it's not good when they're so little

@NomsQualityStreets there's a difference between letting the cry for a few mins while your getting something done and letting the scream for hours- bubs will be fine for a few mins xx

What time does your dp leave in the morning? Can you have a shower and get dressed while he’s still around in the mornings?
My situation was similar and that’s what I did.
Take the dcs out daily. Fresh air and a walk will be good for all of you.
Do toddler groups, park, library, supermarket.
Plan easy meals like casseroles or other one pot, one tray in the oven dishes. There’s loads on bbcgoodfood. Prep them in the morning or after lunch as dcs seem to be a bit calmer then.
Get other chores and cleaning done when you can. I found using 10mins here and there for laundry and tidying up worked ok.
Don’t forget to go things for yourself too. When dp is around on weekends, leave the kids with him and go for a walk, shopping, meet a friend.

Start a trial run now, so as soon as you wake up & go to the loo, jump in for a quick 5 min shower.

I find as soon as I shower, I'm awake, I will very rarely crawl back into bed.

After your shower throw some bleach down the loo & cleaning fluid in the bath & sink. Leave it until the next time you use the loo, it'll need a quick wipe down then.

Breakfast for you & toddler, you can breastfeed whilst eating toast & a glass of juice or milk. Leave the hot drinks until after drop off.

After drop off, nip to the shop for supplies or a baby group until nursery collection & then home for lunch.

Sleep whilst your children nap in the afternoon so you feel refreshed for the evening slog.

Put an easy dinner on, oven or slow cooker meals are the best.

I did my chores whilst my dd was in a sling, she hated being put down too.

Set up a weekly/fortnightly rolling online food order.

Can you afford a weekly/fortnightly cleaner?

You need a sling for the baby so you can do things and he stays happy.