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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is there evidence of your presence at Christmas?

46 replies

Christmasaurus · 25/12/2017 22:47

I just ask because once again, despite the fact that I mention it periodically, dh has not taken a single photo today (except for a photo of a joke out of a cracker because it was so bad.....) So once again, when we look back over family photos of family time we will see everyone except for me 😡
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I love having my photo taken, but I do like to see myself in photos with the dc, to know they can look back and see me with them.
Every few months I ask him to try and remember to take a few photos now and again, but basically unless I literally say can he please take a photo now it doesn’t happen Xmas Angry

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Dixiestampsagain · 25/12/2017 22:49

Very true- there’s not one of me as I took them all. I will have to make sure there are some tomorrow or, as you say, I won’t be ‘present’ when my kids look back at photos.

IJoinedJustToPostThis · 25/12/2017 22:49

Time to embrace selfies.

Pret · 25/12/2017 22:49

Just ask then.

Bellabelloo · 25/12/2017 22:50

Yup! I have so many lovely pics of my husband and my baby, but none of me and my baby unless it's a selfie! From my photos it looks like they have spent all year, holidays etc as just those 2!

Maelstrop · 25/12/2017 22:51

I took a picture of the DH with his ‘Christmas Box’ to send to my family. He’s always thought the expression was hilarious, where they think it’s a standard expression for presents. There was also a pic sent to his mate with the presents he got from him, so yes, we have memories, although there are more of the dog opening his presents Blush

TammySwansonTwo · 25/12/2017 22:51

I had this discussion with my DH too as there are almost no photos of me with our twins and I take photos of him with them all the time. He actually did take some today but I look so awful in them I could cry - can't seem to shift the last stone of my pregnancy weight and I feel absolutely hideous. Feel like I can't win really. Really missing my mum this Christmas and I know how important photos of her are to me so I know I have to suck it up. I look back over the last 10 years and there are barely any photos of me that aren't at weddings.

I think all you can do is to keep on telling him.

MardyMarie · 25/12/2017 22:51

Only rubbish selfies going on here as I'm a lone parent. I would love photos of me reading to, or hugging the DC unaware of the photo being taken but it's never going to happen for me Sad

Original poster
Christmasaurus · 25/12/2017 22:51

Pret I have mentioned it to dh often. He knows it’s a thing for me. I often do ask him to take photos but then it just means every photo is an attempt to get the dc to smile etc rather than just being a nice natural photo of the moment.

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 25/12/2017 22:54

I've had this discussion many times, now I have to say "this would make a lovely photo" and he gets the obvious hint

lilydaisyrose · 25/12/2017 22:55

This drives me bonkers. DH is the same as above as is my Mum. She continually asks me to take photos of her with kids or baby and never once offers! I don't want to have to ask!

Tortycat · 25/12/2017 22:58

Yep same here, it's so annoying. Like you say, even when you do ask it means no 'unaware' shots which are often the nicest. And when i badger dp for a pic he never makes an effort or checks them, so when i look back invariably i have my eyes shut/ out of focus/ too dark etc Angry

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 25/12/2017 22:59

I too take lots of selfies of me and my girls. Some of them are my fav photos. I try and take a few on each day out or just at random times (snuggling on sofa or on a bus)

On a slightly vein note i have worked out my good angle with a selfie so quite like the pics.

You can get a clip with a lens that widens the angle - i bought in the £ shop 😁 handy for getting more people in or the background.

AuntieStella · 25/12/2017 23:01

Yes, there's a pic of me but of no-one else.

We don't go in for much picture taking, so lots of occasions are memories not snaps. But today, there's one taken of me in rather fetching festive garb at a Parkrun

helloworlditsme · 25/12/2017 23:03

Yes same, I always take photos and my DH doesn't think to but if I ask him to, get loads of sarky comments and pose for photo comments rather than just nice natural ones as things are going on. I don't bother asking over day to day things but do on birthdays and Christmas and it's always the same. I asked him yesterday rather than today if he could take some pictures of today and he still got arsey.

Rubyroop · 25/12/2017 23:11

I'm just the voice behind the camera on videos. Don't think DH took one pic of me today, I took loads of him and the DC. Luckily eldest DC had a camera for Christmas so I'm in her pics Smile

wonkylegs · 25/12/2017 23:17

I'm in 2 selfies one with the 1yo and one with my brother but that's it and neither show my beautiful dress Sad
To be fair we didn't take that many photos though.

HRMumness · 25/12/2017 23:24

This reminded me of the time that my parents spent most of their first Christmas holiday with us my family all live on the other side of the world taking photos of my newborn DD2 being held by either my DB or my now SIL (They had just got engaged at the time). There was literally not one photo taken of me holding my new baby Sad. Mainly because I was only sitting down when I was breastfeeding because the rest of the time I was running around looking after my 2.5yo DD1 and taking care of four additional adults. I came out in hives because I wasn't sleeping all night because of cluster feeding and was spending all day on my feet. When I lost my shit, my Dad turned around and said that he had come for a holiday Angry. We had lived through 5 months of building work with a toddler, then my DD2 had arrived one week later, then my family. How I did not kill him on the spot I do not know.

BrownTurkey · 26/12/2017 00:11

No, none today, despite me handing the camera to the other end of the table and then making a joke of running out of the kitchen with the oven gloves on to ‘be in it’.

I have some from yesterday, but only because I made people take them.

jellytotslove · 26/12/2017 00:15

my partner has a way of taking photos that makes me look like the ugliest person on the planet, and if he does take any it's never natural it's always me having to look right at the camera and smile. he's bloody useless with photos

Katurah · 26/12/2017 05:06

My husband is a wedding and family photographer and I still have to ask him.

I wish I could have photos of me like the ones he takes for other people😓

BenLui · 26/12/2017 05:13

Yes, I’m in photos.

But if I wasn’t I’d ask.

DH is the photographer in our household and he asks if he feels that he’s missing out.

There is no point being resentful because he doesn’t do it without being asked. Just ask.

Butterpuff · 26/12/2017 05:21

Yes but taken by my 2 year old who hogged the camera so I'm not sure about the quality!

HerRoyalNotness · 26/12/2017 05:22

My DH is the same. I have to constantly ask, it gets wearing. When I take pics I'll also take 10 or so to know if have got at least one decent one. He'll snap off one and the link that will do. We went on a road trip last xmas and went snow shoeing, there was a beautiful pic of me pregnant with our DSs. All looked fab except my eyes were closed. He only took the one picture.

He works away now and has since DC3 was born (and prior) so I don't have any of the natural, hugging, reading to, playing etc pics. He still gets them when he is home. Except last time I decided not to take a single picture of him. His DM sent him a text, oooh no pics of you with the DC this time? No, not until he reciprocates. ( she wonders why there aren't any pics of ME and the Dc)

HerRoyalNotness · 26/12/2017 05:23

never wonders

Batteriesallgone · 26/12/2017 05:29

Neither me nor DH take many photos. I do sometimes wonder if our kids will hate us for it but I just don’t have it in me to remember to take photos all the time.

We have no photos of yesterday at all.