Do other people do this at Christmas?

[Isthatwhatwearedoingnow]

Every year since DH and I got married we've sent presents to his parents, sister, BIL and nieces. In return DH always gets a decent presents while my children and I have had small token (Think glade scented candle, box of matchsticks chocolates) and this year we didn't get anything but DH still got usual gifts for himself. I expressed surprise, especially that the kids didn't get anything and DH said that it was because I never buy anything for them.
I was under the impression that the gifts we send are from all of us as they are paid for from joint money, sometimes I choose stuff, sometimes DH chooses stuff, we both wrap stuff. Have I been doing things wrong or is this weird?

This is not wired it's awful. Your 'd'hreaction is very telling. Is he generally an arsenide?

*arsehole

You said ‘my children’. Are they not your dh’s? As that might explain it. Also, sounds like your dh is a bit of a dick. No offence.

I buy for my side of the family. Dh buys for me and his mum. Even if he had more family to buy for he would be doing it, not me. Ive enough to do and he is an adult. But your parents in law should be buying you a gift ffs.

Weird

We send a present from us as we're a family. For example this year ils have had a couple of lovely bottles of wine and a selection of chocolates and favourite sweets from me and dh and a piece of hand painted pottery from dd (not everyones cup of tea but ils love it)

In return we've had a present each from ils and they've apparently ram raided toys r Us on behalf of dd

We could have split the gifts and dh gave them the wine and me the sweets but what's the point

What so his family buy him decent stuff and buy you crap? And this year didn't buy you anything because you didn't send a separate gift only a couple gift?
They are twats and so is your DH.

We have no nieces and nephews. We buy couple presents for the DB and DS with their partner (usually restaurant vouchers or things like tickets for a concert or play) and the DP plus a little token for each person such as chocolates, a paperback, a make-up bag, etc. ILs get the same value and thought as DSiblings. DH receives the same as me (value, effort, etc.) from my family and vice versa.

That's very weird, do they think the gifts are just from him? Why would he say they were just from him and that you don't get them anything?

Your DH is a true twat !!! I can’t believe he’s not embarrassed ⛄️😳

Why isn't DH taking your side on this by having a word with them.
What a tosser.

I find this really odd

Of course the gifts are from all of you. It’s appalling that he has not made that clear to them.

Your dh is taking the credit for famy presents! What a thoughtless git. Is he always such a selfish arse?

Stuff that, from now on he gets his family presents (see if they ever get any😀) if they cant buy you and kids more than a box of sweets stuff them.

Make him tell family that the presents were from all of you and he is disappointed that you and kids got nothing and wonder why they are being such arses.

Why do they think the gifts are just from him. Tell him to tell them they were presents from your family and he is disgusted they didn’t send you and his children a gift.

If he doesn’t do this he’s an arsehole

I can't imagine anyone ever thinking that a Christmas gift from a married family member was not from the couple unless they had explicitly been told it was only from on half.

Your DH has some explaining to do

Please don’t choose or buy or wrap any more gifts for his parents. What they do is awful.

Does he address them as being just from him, or from all of you?

Tight fucker!
They should say from you both.
As he has been using joint money to buy presents for his family, I suggest demand some of your money back.

No you're not doing anything wrong at all. They are!! What idiots.

Stop buying anything... and buy for your Kids

WTF? Sound like tight arses.

OH and I send gifts as a couple and get individual gifts back from his side. We do secret Santa across the adults on my side so N/A. The kids on my side get gifts from us and know they're from both of us.

As a kid I remember giving aunties and uncles chocolates (to the couple), a separate gift for each grandparent and a small gift for each cousin. Adults wouldn't exchange gifts with each other but would give Ns a gift (as a couple) and each of their parents a gift (as a couple) and get individual presents back. Grandparents would gift (spoil ) each grandchild.

You and DCs didn’t get anything at all but DH got presents from his family? That is awful behaviour and the fact he justified it is dreadful. . Have some

Isthatwhat If you are both wrapping the presents, who is writing the gift tags? If you are writing them, surely you are writing “To MIL, Merry Christmas! Love from Isthatwhat, DH, DCs”??? If he’s writing them...time to check exactly what he’s writing!

My family buy equally for me, DP, and DC. DPs family are complex. FIL and his lovely DP are equally generous to all of us. MIL gets DP lots ( like I mean lots) and gets the rest of us a very small token eg socks or a t shirt for DC. SIL only buys for DP. DPs step-dad only buys for him.

It’s just accepted. It makes me feel a bit shit but we don’t see them often as they live far away. I wouldn’t know how to broach the subject without seeming grabby though.