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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your self care tips?

37 replies

ClandestineAdulation · 25/12/2017 20:23

I feel like I’ve pulled myself through today instead of enjoying it, can’t put my finger on why.

WIBU to ask for your self care tips, to help me avoid feeling like this in the New Year?

Happy Christmas to all, too. x

OP posts:
prettymess · 25/12/2017 20:27

I have three things I focus on:

Take my tablets
Eat regular meals
Wash and dress daily

On the worst days that’s the bare minimum. On good days I do a lot more.

Blurt buddy box is a nice thing to get yourself or someone else. They have lots of self care tips on the website too.

prettymess · 25/12/2017 20:28

blurt buddy box

Original poster
ClandestineAdulation · 25/12/2017 21:11

Thanks prettymess I’ve never seen that before.

I’ve just felt like bursting into tears all day today and though I’ve managed to dress, help cook lunch and wash etc, I don’t feel like I’m particularly high up on my own priority list.

OP posts:
WhooooAmI24601 · 25/12/2017 21:14

Multivitamins, showering daily, getting out for a walk even if it's shitty weather every day, feeding yourself regular meals and reading something lovely before going to bed early for a few nights running.

LockedOutOfMN · 25/12/2017 21:14

In winter, I like to light a candle when I come in from work in the evenings.

I also try to make time for either painting nails then leaving them to dry for 10 minutes or doing a bit of my colouring book before bed. I aim for every day but usually find time twice a week which isn't bad.

I try not to look at my phone on the bus (I have a 25-35 minute bus journey each morning and evening) but either read a book or just day dream to recharge my batteries.

WingsofNylon · 25/12/2017 21:17

I use an app called Ike. It is supposed to be for time management but I've used it to make self care lists. one for the evening (stuff like, pick out clothes for tomorrow) one for the morning (do something with hair, clean teeth) then a once a week 'big' things (like pluck eyebrows and shave). The app set off an alarm so it reminds me to do the stuff.

It doesn't always work. My eyebrows are a state right now but it has helped a fair bit.

If day keep the aims simple and don't be embarrassed of that are as simple as 'clean my teeth'.

Original poster
ClandestineAdulation · 25/12/2017 23:40

Thank you, everyone.

Maybe it’s just the pressure of Christmas but I do feel like I’ve been struggling to do even the most basic things lately.

OP posts:
SinglePringle · 25/12/2017 23:48

This is a most excellent thread. We should post ‘Go You’ type messages on here to support with the self care.

You’re all lovely, posting the encouraging things you do!

Merry Christmas and a peaceful, self-caring New Year (and I’m not even drunk!).

cookiefiend · 25/12/2017 23:52

Great thread idea. I don't really like New Years resolutions as I think they set you up a bit for failure, but mine to year is self care. There are loads of things I want to do- lose weight, be a more patient mother, be in the moment, be more organised, keep my journal, be a domestic goddess, etc etc. But all of these require me to look after myself more.

I saw on a thread recently someone said they had a revelation about self care that it could be as simple as drink when you are thirsty and go for a wee when you need to. I am guilty of putting these very basic aspects of self care aside. My hand s are constantly cracked and bleeding- it is sore, but I rarely bother to moisturise. Etc etc.

I think if I can love myself a bit more- and take care of myself better then I will be better placed to achieve my bigger goals. So I am going to start with moisturising my hands each night. I'd love to hear everyone else's ideas so I can add to this as I go along. Also some days I hardly drink a thing (and the children don't seem to). In the last few days we have been having Hot chocolate together. I don't want that to be a permenant thing but I wonder about stopping and having an afternoon drink together in the long term. Maybe a fruit tea or something. It has been a nice feat for all of us.

littlepeas · 25/12/2017 23:52

Yoga, the headspace app and a lumie alarm clock have helped me enormously. Also, cutting back significantly on alcohol (though admittedly I am currently on a sabbatical for Christmas) has made a big difference.

SinglePringle · 25/12/2017 23:57

I’m with you on the low alcohol littlepeas. I’ve been booze free for 3 months. Today was the first day back on it. I’ve loved leaving it behind and will do again from Weds.

That, plus eating well, having good sleep ‘hygiene’ and exercise are my self-care stalwarts.

Plus reminding myself it’s ok to fuck up / want to be alone / want to be quiet / need to recouporate occasionally.

littlepeas · 26/12/2017 00:02

Yes, I'm definitely planning to not drink for the whole of January and February at least, although I can't start again until after new year (well I suppose I could, but its tricky socially at times - I don't like feeling like I'm on a different wavelength to everyone else, drunk people are boring and ridiculous when you are sober!).

paperandpaint · 26/12/2017 00:11

Thank you for this thread too. I’ve had pretty grim PND for 9 months and Christmas has exhausted me. Both my DDs have birthdays in the ten days before Christmas and the whole month is exhausting. I spent all day cooking and sorting and I just feel very sad now. Apart from opening stockings, I didn’t enjoy Christmas at all and I feel so ashamed admitting that.

I always feel better if I do my hair and put on make up but like the PP my hands are cracked and bleeding and I don’t always remember to take medication and eat well.

No alcohol is definitely good. I caved and had a glass tonight at 10pm but none during the day really helped. I also had a veggie heist as meal which helped me to feel less sluggish.

More tips please!

paperandpaint · 26/12/2017 00:12

A veggie heist!!! No idea where that came from - a veggie meal I meant!

SinglePringle · 26/12/2017 00:21

Keeping my home clean / tidy helps me too. Makes me feel happy that I’ve created a nice space and it’s my haven.

Not giving a fuck about the social media posts of others definitely helps my self-care!

Sunnysidegold · 26/12/2017 00:26

A veggie heist sounds like exactly what a vegetarian would avoid! ☺

I am.determined to make self care my priority this year. I have learned that I really.need to have time to myself to keep me sane and I'm working out how to factor this in. I am going to have to improve sleep hygiene so reading about that and am.going to start habit tracking to help keep me up to date with taking meds and keeping cleanm

Loveache · 26/12/2017 00:28

Drink water often. Only glance at social media and take it as only half true etc.
BE NICE TO YOURSELF
Seriously. Undo the shit that your mother and your stupid sister
(Eg) say to you and just try your best to put an armour around it. Good luck!

DampF0ggy · 26/12/2017 11:48

I like to take a couple of photos of something every day that cheers me up. I also write a diary. I like to find things that make me smile

prettymess · 26/12/2017 13:01

self care at Christmas

It’s fine to make yourself easy meals or buy easy generic gifts when you feel crap. Buy bottled water if it means you drink enough. Pace yourself. Do something for 20 mins and have a 10 min break.

Cagliostro · 26/12/2017 13:18

I struggle with this too. Bad at self care at the best of times but neglecting myself further since DC3 arrived! Love her to pieces but sometimes going to the loo by myself is as good as it gets :o

thethoughtfox · 26/12/2017 15:29

We got up half an hour before dc on Christmas morning so had some time to wake up gently and put on nice pjs and a bra! Then was able to straighten my hair, put on some make up and make some coffee. I felt so rested and great for the whole morning instead of rushed and stressed and didn't have to hide when the camera came out.

EmilyChambers79 · 26/12/2017 16:18

Multivitamins

Does anyone else on here take vitamins?

I think, often, you have to be a bit selfish in order to be kind to yourself. I've had someone ask if I can babysit new years eve. I said no, I don't work new years eve as I want to spend it with my family. This person has since left me a shitty review on my Facebook page and my official page on a website and called me "overly expensive, unreliable and not willing to accommodate"

Problem is, I will, and do work, every and any night of the whole year, other than this.

Last year, I worked Christmas Eve until midnight, Boxing day till midnight and two nights till midnight for this family, as well as on my birthday and during my holiday from my other job.

So 2018 I'm actually setting holiday from babysitting too unless it suits me!

But I agree with others, have a shower or a wash every day, that always makes you feel better. Being comfy and cosy always helps too.

HunterofStars · 26/12/2017 16:59

Staying off Facebook has helped me. I'm less anxious. I find listening to a relaxing app on my Kindle helps.

I'm going to make self-care a top priority for 2018. I got the book Calm by Michael Acton-Smith for Christmas and it is so calming to look at as well as having meditations and exercises in it.

I also write a gratitude journal each day and find 5 things to be grateful for. I found an old one I did last year recently and as I read it back, it made me smile.

I also plan to drink more water in January and have bought a nice new water bottle. I'm also going to go through a lot of my stuff and declutter as much as possible.

I also plan to eliminate processed and junk food from my diet as I'm sure that doesn't help me and plan to use my slow cooker more as well as spending time outdoors.

kwick · 26/12/2017 19:31

Such a great thread - thank you @ClandestineAdulation!!

I have been TTC for 3 Christmases... I was actually pregnant last Christmas but very sadly had a second MC in February. Anyhoo I am feeling a bit low this year and will endeavour to take better care of my self.

What I do currently:

  • a 3 min mindfulness session from Aura every day
  • castor oil packs when I remember
  • stroke the new puppy of my nephew (from tomorrow I can take on walks)
clarinsgirl · 26/12/2017 19:38

Time outside is really important and eating well has a big impact on how you feel. Personally I also think it's important to find something that's 'your thing'. Something you do or somewhere you go that makes you feel better, resets you and allows you to breathe.

Outdoor swimming is my thing, even in the winter. Swam this morning and I feel like me again now. What's your thing?

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