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AIBU?

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Original poster

How would you feel

12 replies

nowimsomeonenew · 25/12/2017 20:05

DH got me a vibrator for Xmas. I Reached the age of 34 without ever having one. I haven't enjoyed sex lately, a lot of it is due to body issues after my 3 pregnancies. I'm waiting for a prolapse repair. Anyway back to the point. When he gave it to me he told me he wanted it me to get enjoyment too. I think it's coming from a good place but I really don't know how to feel.

OP posts:
TenancyTroublesAgain · 25/12/2017 20:07

I'd feel awkward about anyone buying me a sex toy. I'd always want to buy my own.

cakeymccakington · 25/12/2017 20:07

My ex gave me one once and I felt really weird about it. But actually I think it was from my own stupid hang ups.
I was embarrassed and wouldn't use it.

A few years later when I'd sorted some issues out and we were in a better place we had a whole plethora of toys we used and it was no problem at all.

I guess it's kind of a personal thing and if it comes as a surprise you kind of think wtf? But you're right that it's coming from a good place :-)

cakeymccakington · 25/12/2017 20:09

I think in my case it was also a very obvious "I'm giving you tis because I want more sex and I'm hoping this will help"
Which made me feel very pressured

MagnoliaBark · 25/12/2017 20:09

I think that’s sweet, personally Smile

sillysausage16 · 25/12/2017 20:09

If you've never had one you are in for a treat Grin

blue2014 · 25/12/2017 20:13

I'm not sure it's is coming from a "I want more sex" it feels like it's a gift for her own enjoyment.
I'm surprised people feel awkward getting a gift like this from someone who presumably is quite active in your sex life. If I got it from my mum it would be weird! From my DH - perfectly normal. He bought me one about 15 years ago, I'm cheap and would never have shelled out the cash for one of my own.

PoorYorick · 25/12/2017 20:16

I think it's a nice gesture and kindly meant. And if you've really never used one before...whoa, you are in for some fun.

Original poster
nowimsomeonenew · 25/12/2017 20:19

Thanks all, I suppose I feel a bit weird about it as our sex life is so awful at the moment, and he is just trying to inject some fun into the bedroom. I can feel that I have become a lot more uptight about sex, almost prudish. I need to relax somewhat about things

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 25/12/2017 20:21

I agree it's prob come from a good place in your DH head but I suspect with a prolapse to worry about you won't be in mood to enjoy it x

Misspilly88 · 25/12/2017 20:22

I'd be overjoyed!

PoorYorick · 25/12/2017 20:22

Honestly, a vibrator is just about the tamest, most gentle thing you could be using. It's really just a massage stick. Try to relax and enjoy it; it is all private, there is nothing wrong, it's just a nice sensation and stimulation.

Remember that your body isn't just for creating babies, it's for your own pleasure too.

LookAtAllTheBullshit · 25/12/2017 20:27

Has he bought it for you to use solo, together or a bit of both?
I had body issues after childbirth and shied away from sex with my partner-my issues and understandable ones-a vibrator was good for me because I didn’t have to feel sexy/attractive to use it (solo) so no pressure but meant my itch got scratched ifyswim

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