To miss my 'usual' family Christmas

[mussie]

First world problem I know. This is my second Christmas with DH's family and I miss my home Christmas so much! I think the first time, it was such a novelty to spend Christmas elsewhere and we were only just married, but it's really sinking in this year.

They started the present opening while I was out of the room 😢 and the Christmas lunch had soup as a starter (deeply missed my usual deep fried breaded Camembert), there was no bread sauce or yorkshires, and there is still no sign of a cheese board, or any attempt to start a board game. The boozing is very minimal, and only just, at this late hour, have the mince pies come out. (Also, my PIL do not keep the cleanest house, which also makes me uncomfortable, but that's a whole separate thought)

I know my DH is so happy to be home though, and he put up with my massive noisy family last year, so of course it's only fair to just put on a festive face for the day!

It's worse because I'm likely to be working for the foreseeable Christmases, so may never have my 'usual' Christmas again 😢

Anyone else missing home today? ❤️

I'm missing home too. I moved house on Tuesday and this house needs a new kitchen and bathroom so I'm surrounded by boxes and no home comforts.

I miss mine too. Doesn't feel like Christmas without my mum.

The first time I spent xmas with DH's family I cried. It was bloody awful! They literally eat dinner and then watch TV all day. They don't care about xmas, don't get a tree etc. A stark contrast to my parents who make xmas an amazing experience even now as adults. To avoid doing xmas at inlaws again we agreed that now we have kids we wont go anywhere. We stay home and have inlaws over for a couple of hours and then go to my parents boxing day. It works very well although I still miss my parents on xmas day.

They literally eat dinner and then watch TV all day. They don't care about xmas, don't get a tree etc.

^I could have written that post

Looking forward to having DC, if only for the excuse to have our own Christmas where I'm free to recreate my childhood in peace! I've been thinking about that to cheer myself up today - writing out exactly what we'd do and when. We live very far from both our families though, so a Christmas of our own means not seeing any family at all

I was just saying the same thing pretty much to my DH. My family Christmas Days we’re always full of lots of fun, energy and a real sense of occasion. Christmas with my DH’s Family is the total opposite. No great effort made, pretty much like a normal day. I find it boring, rather sad and I find myself wishing the time away.

I find it hard at the in laws as their Christmas is just so different to what I grew up with.

Open stockings in livingroom taking in turns to open one present in it while everyone watches you.

In between that and tv it’s just tv time.

Dinner is always late and somethings always undercooked. No starter.

After dinner (5pm) you can open actual presents again taking it in turns everyone watching, always fil faffing taking 10 minutes to open anything.

Then it’s just watch the tv while children play alone with their toys.

My childhood Christmas was stocking getting opened in my bed, you know the whole let parents sleep in a bit longer devise. Everyone runs down stairs and jumps into the presents we read labels but we didn’t have to watch everyone open every single present. Playing while dinner cooked. We had starter main and desert. Then playing games as a family.

YANBU. I love my PIL but much prefer the years we have Christmas with my family. PIL are just not really into Christmas. There's a tiny budget for presents (one year we didn't do presents at all - that was grim), there's hardly any booze, portions are minimal at dinner and the atmosphere is just so subdued compared to my loud excitable extended family.

I hear you op. My PILs are lovely people but it's not the same. Everything is super minimal and it's all about taking focus away from presents, not having too much chocolate or rich food, stopping the children from getting overexcited - all noble aims but the overall effect is that it's like a normal day with a bit of pudding.

My family probably err too much on the other side but at least there's a sense of excitement and occasion. DH and I both like something in between the two.

Not at all, I did Christmas Day with my OH's family and deeply missed waking up in my old bedroom, coming down for a cup of tea, waiting for my brothers to get up, opening presents together... I'm nearly 30!

Seeing them all tomorrow but it won't be the same :(

There's a fantastic Peep Show episode where Mark and Jeremy do Christmas at theirs for the first time and Jeremy is really upset by how none of it is "his Christmas", it's all Mark's traditions and none of his. Worth a watch, series 7 episode 5.

I miss my family today. First Christmas in our own home and I had high hopes for a lovely low-key relaxing day - lots of nice food, was hoping DS (2) wouldn't be overtired and awful like he was yesterday, some time for me and DP while he napped/after he'd gone to bed, etc.

Instead, DP has some kind of virus (I think) and is Gravely Ill. I know he is feeling lousy and I'm being a bitch but anything he gets is always worse than anyone else's illnesses. We've barely opened any presents ourselves as we focused on DS and his stocking, and DP has spent most of the afternoon and evening in bed. Have never not opened all my presents on Christmas Day .

Am just praying the rest of us don't catch it now....but if we'd done what we usually do and gone to my family, at least I wouldn't have had sole responsibility for cooking, cleaning up and toddler-wrangling. Am now eating All The Food and having a glass of wine - I've earned it.

On the plus side, our toddler has been brilliant and he's had a lovely time with his presents, opened at his pace, as well as lots of playdoh time with me and a walk round our neighbourhood to look at the lights.

You have starters??!!

Thanks all, glad to know it's not just me. And we never used to have starters in my home, until DM discovered she could deep fry cheese after that, we had it every year. I don't see the point in a soup starter - not a special occasion type food, and just fills you up so you can't enjoy your main 🤔