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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to invent delayed-gift-acceptance- syndrome

50 replies

Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 18:46

I don't know if this syndrome exists, but if it does I think I've had it in the past and recognise the feelings of some people posting today.

Is it possible for someone to be a bit too conservative ( if that is the right word) to enjoy a sudden change in the range of possessions they own?

I'm a bit more laid back now, but when I was younger I never seemed to like being given new things as presents, and even some of my most treasured possessions it took me a little while to become familiar with them and enjoy owning them.

Just me? Or does anyone else know what I'm talking about??

OP posts:
thegreatbeyond · 25/12/2017 18:49

I do have that, but I'm autistic.

ScreamingValentaMySantaExpress · 25/12/2017 18:50

I don't suffer from this, but it's a really interesting observation and worth bearing in mind if, as the giver, your recipient seems unenthusiastic about a gift for no obvious reason.

MissionItsPossible · 25/12/2017 18:57

Not sure if it's the same but I really don't like using new electric devices and when I'm forced to, I will keep the protective layerings on that protect screens. When I've had them long enough to take the covering off, that's when I'm used to it and can use them normally. I leave all my presents downstairs as well, away from my "normal" things.

Batteriesallgone · 25/12/2017 19:05

Yep I have this. I am becoming more and more suspicious I have ASD tbh.

flashlight17 · 25/12/2017 19:27

Sounds like autism to me.

Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 19:30

I am certainly not autistic!

OP posts:
missmapp · 25/12/2017 19:30

Ds2 is very like this. When he looked at his pile of pressies this,morning he said, but it's too much. I don't want to be spoilt.
He loved open ing them, but has not piled them up and is looking at an old book. I know he will come round to loving them. I am very similar

HollyBerryHolly · 25/12/2017 19:32

I am certainly not autistic!

You sound insulted?

Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 19:34

no, of course I m not insulted!

OP posts:
flashlight17 · 25/12/2017 19:34

Ok... well you’re acting in a non typical way for a NT adult. Have you always been this way?

PS
Autism isn’t an insult

DailyMailIsEnemyOfPeople · 25/12/2017 19:39

What do you think changes your mind & makes you see the use of the item, OP?
DS is very slow to think thru things. Not autistic, but just slow to decide what he thinks.

Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 19:39

well, non typical doesn't automatically mean autistic, and I know this is an unusual response , the whole point of this thread is to ask if it was only me, or if other people actually have the same response - and it looks like it isn't only me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 19:41

What do you think changes your mind & makes you see the use of the item, OP?

I think it was just becoming familiar with something before being able to enjoy it, it doesn't really happen now, it used to happen years ago, its just that some of the responses to gifts I read about online today seem to me to be similar to how I used to be, so I was wondering.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 19:42

also maybe being very hard up financially made me uncomfortable and a bit guilty with receiving non- necessities

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 25/12/2017 19:43

Four paragraphs and someone reads that and concludes the OP is autistic. Okay. Hmm

soundsystem · 25/12/2017 19:45

Really, flashlight you can diagnose autism from the fact that someone takes a while to enjoy their new stuff? Wow.

Ummmmgogo · 25/12/2017 19:45

I have a relative like this. give them something, they store it for 5 years because they are not used to it yet, then finally use it and love it. it's highly irritating!

i think op meant that autism is an actual disability and it cheapens people's struggles to go 'oooh, are you autistic??' over every little thing on mn, not that she considers autistic to be an insult.

ColonelJackONeil · 25/12/2017 19:46

Sometimes people give you a new and seemingly better version of something you already have. But you have kind of perfected how to use the old version so the new one doesn't seem right. Like new shoes vs comfy tattered old ones.

MrsMozart · 25/12/2017 19:47

Yup, know what you mean. Sometimes it takes me a while to get used to having something. Got a new sadlle three weeks ago. It's been on the horse once. I just can't get to grips with having it (and maybe all it entails).

DailyMailIsEnemyOfPeople · 25/12/2017 19:50

DS gave me new running shoes. Very kind, but I don't need them. Am not going to chuck the old ones. Went running (with DS) while wearing new ones, anyway, but don't really expect to wear them again for many months.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 25/12/2017 19:57

I dislike receiving gifts because it makes me feel very uncomfortable, so your problem doesn’t seem too odd to me. Like a previous poster I’m autistic though, so that’s my explanation, it’s to do with being out on the spot and an expectation of response. I’m better at it now, but still really dislike it.

I have a few N.T. friends who feel similar, so I don’t think it’s all that rare.

Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 20:57

It does sound like its quite common, I like the analogy of being given beautiful new shoes whilst being comfortable in your old worn one, that sums it up exactly.

OP posts:
NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 21:03

It's like new cd's I listen to. At first, they can leave me cold buy then they become favourites , once I've listened to them a few times. Takes me a while to get into them....

Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 21:11

exactly!

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 21:12

you guys have not only confirmed its a fairy common phenomenon, but also given several rational explanations for it. Thank you

OP posts:
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