AIBU to ask you to continue this tale...

[Whyarealltheusernamestaken]

Once upon a time... adding one sentence only here... let’s see if it leads to a happy ever after!

... there was a man named Graham. An undertaker by night, but by day he was...

Prime Minister. And got frustrated at...

the fact that wednesday was hump day, but had anyone asked the camel if he was happy about it?

The camel wrote a paper about why his humps belonged to him and not the Prome Minister and it was presented at parliament. Then the singer Fergie got involved singing about her humps, her juicy lady lumps...

Meanwhile, a suspicious Character carrying s swag bag was lurking in the shadows outside the big, down town, jewellery shop

And eyeing up diamonds and chandelier earrings lasciviously...

When Harry Potter appeared and killed a policeman

The policeman's wife was devastated when she heard the news. She was a sweet, shy woman named Judy

The whole town of Derry were in shock at the news.

They decided to withdraw themselves from the outside world and built a tall brick wall ringfencing themselves

Which was lucky because the zombie apocalypse started!!!!

It then they realised they were running low on booze, so had to bravely venture out in search of 🍷

No they dialled for crates. Thrown over the wall. Let's have historical accuracy here

Turned out it wasn't a zombie Apocalypse after all, it was just a crowd of crazed dehydrated shoppers who knocked down part of the wall but were met by...

A 6-foot wall of prickly holly.
Momentarily, the shoppers paused and appraised the obstacle.
From the middle of the crowd, a tall lady emerged, squaring her shoulders and appraising the wall of holly. Wearing black leather leggings, a v-neck cashmere jumper with a peak of white beneath, she was the picture of restrained elegance.
Turning back to the crowd, she reached into her leather bag and pulled out..

.... Two oversized yams, brandishing them menacingly at anyone who dared come too close to her. The rest of the crowd backed away in fear and surprise, unsure of how to react to her.

This was, of course, until another lady to the crowd decided to face up go her and beat her at her game.

She turned to the first lady, all the while bending down to retrieve something from her rather deep coat pocket, which turned out to be.....

*face up to her
**beat her at her own game.