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AIBU?

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Original poster

Christmas lunch at friends - how long to stay?

26 replies

Loadedllama · 25/12/2017 01:26

I’ve been invited for 2 pm for dinner at 3 tomorrow by my lovely friends (they’re a couple and I’m on my tod). I don’t want to leave too soon but also don’t want to outstay my welcome. How long would you stay? It will just be the three of us.

OP posts:
Onlyoldontheoutside · 25/12/2017 01:30

Play it by ear.It sounds as if you are quite sensitive so after 3 hours see how it feels.
Hope you have a lovely time.

RoderickRules · 25/12/2017 01:32

Help clear up after dinner, maybe have a tea/coffee and then go.

Original poster
Loadedllama · 25/12/2017 01:33

Thanks only will review after 3 hours unless we are still tackling the sprouts. Hope you have a great day too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loadedllama · 25/12/2017 01:33

I will definitely offer to help clear up but my friend is notorious for refusing all assistance.

OP posts:
taylorj86 · 25/12/2017 01:35

Sensitive how dare you!
Stay for dessert and drinks and then make your move before the wolf chimes. Any other way would be rude.

TunaSushi · 25/12/2017 01:41

Dinner, clear away, hot drink then go.

stargazer2030 · 25/12/2017 05:23

If you were coming to mine I would expect you here most of the evening too. As long as you are comfortable to crash on the sofa for a while later on. Enjoy your day.

LEMtheoriginal · 25/12/2017 05:34

If I had invited a friend for Christmas dinner I wouldnt expect them to piss off just after dinner! So long as they don't talk through bake off!!!

MorningstarMoon · 25/12/2017 06:17

If you were coming to mine I would expect you to stay most of the evening however you'd have to be silent through Doctor Who.

Enjoy OP and merry Christmas

Prusik · 25/12/2017 06:19

I'd expect you to stay. I had a friend for Christmas lunch a couple of years ago - ate and ran. I thought it was a bit rude but shrugged it off. Next time I will be more explicit in my invite

BulletFox · 25/12/2017 06:26

You can usually gauge when it's overextended and they're tired.

Just tell them at the start to say when they feel that they want their space and you wouldn't feel offended in the slightest.

ClashCityRocker · 25/12/2017 06:35

If we have guests for Christmas day the offer's there for the whole day from about eleven am on, unless they have other plans for the evening.

Play it by ear and have a lovely day.

Bowerbird5 · 25/12/2017 06:43

I would help clear up tell her other people's dishes are always more interesting than your own. I would have tea / coffee and maybe half an hour later weigh up whether you should stay or go. If they beg you to stay longer stay another hour then go. I wouldn't want someone to eat and run as the hostess would then be able to relax and chat to you. Guess you need to play it by ear.

Whinesalot · 25/12/2017 06:43

I'd be a bit peeved if I'd slaved over a hot stove and then they disappeared immediately after they had had a coffee.

What about the Christmas games? Play it by ear op.

devondream · 25/12/2017 06:44

We have guests coming and hope they will stay as late as possible!

We have games lined up and extra food for the evening if they do stay.

However if they wish to go earlier that is fine too. Whatever makes them happy.

I would go with the flow and see how it goes.

HerrHerrHerr · 25/12/2017 06:47

I’d friends came to ours for Christmas dinner I’d think they’d stay into the evening.

PanPanPanPing · 25/12/2017 06:48

I'd play it by ear too.

But I'd expect a lunch guest to stay for the rest of the afternoon and into, at least, the early evening - if not longer! After all, if you leave immediately after lunch I'd be a bit concerned that you'd be spending the rest of the afternoon and evening alone - fine if you want to do that, but I'd like to think that you'd be comfortable slobbing along with us for a while!

confusedandemployed · 25/12/2017 06:49

You play this one by ear. If it's a quiet affair, bottle of wine between the 3 of you then not rude to leave after coffee. If it's much more jolly affair, games, general silliness then as a host I'd be expecting you to stay til 8ish at the very earliest.

maddiemookins16mum · 25/12/2017 07:07

At least until 7 or 8pm in my book.

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 25/12/2017 07:14

I'm going to my friends for lunch, there will be 9 of us in total.

I'm getting there for 12.30 ish and I'll probably leave around 6.30-7 (so I can eat cheese at home)!

We're eating around 2 and then we've got games etc

rightsaidfrederickII · 25/12/2017 07:15

We always have a couple of 'waifs and strays' to ours for family Christmas dinner. We're always genuinely happy for them to be there until the rest of the family disperse to their own homes, which is after lunch, presents, hot drinks, wine, leftovers and often a spot of TV, so we're talking 11-6ish

Are you exchanging gifts? We always give ours presents and would prefer they stayed, but one tends to scarper after lunch so we give her her presents to open at home.

gamerwidow · 25/12/2017 07:25

Play it by ear if I invited you for Christmas dinner I’d expect you to be there until early evening at least to join in games etc. They obviously enjoy your company otherwise you wouldn’t be there!

Etymology23 · 25/12/2017 07:31

Agree that if I was going to have a friend for xmas lunch I’d anticipate them staying into the evening if they wanted to :)

Original poster
Loadedllama · 25/12/2017 09:59

Happy Christmas eveyone and thanks for your thoughts. I will tell friend to chuck me out when they want some space and then look out for any yawns/husband getting the cornflake packet out for tomorrow morning etc. Hope you all have a lovely day too.

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 25/12/2017 10:06

I would definitely expect a friend to stay for the day, and would feel baffled if she just shot off after a hot drink. I'd expect her to stay for Christmas pudding, tea/coffee and too much chocolate! Then it's nice just to chill out with some wine and a movie (or the queen's speech if we're so minded).

But I definitely wouldn't want a good friend to just feel she had to rush off.