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AIBU?

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Original poster

Following through with the naughty list

33 replies

kittymamma · 24/12/2017 23:17

So we do presents from everyone else and then a couple from Santa thing in our house. I have a 7 yr old and a 2 yr old.

My 7 year old has been a total nightmare this week. Rude, argumentative, mean to her younger sibling and just a total pain. She has been warned about the naughty list and today she wasn't much better.

So really... she can't possibly be on Santa's nice list. But can I really not give her those presents? They are books she has wanted for months and a little something extra that she doesn't know.

I don't want to ruin Christmas but Santa loses all credibility if he hands over gifts to her now..

What would you do?

OP posts:
minisoksmakehardwork · 24/12/2017 23:19

I think honestly, the naughty/nice list is just too much pressure.

Wake her, tell her she's tried really hard most of the year and let Santa bring her presents.

Greensleeves · 24/12/2017 23:20

If you want her to be heartbroken, freaked out and remember it for the rest of her life, don't give her the presents Hmm

feral · 24/12/2017 23:24

We are in a similar position.

I've written a note to DS from FC saying something to the effect that FC knows he's mostly been good but any further poor behaviour and he won't visit next year.

DS (5 in 2 weeks) will probably see right through it but I'm gonna try as it's too mean not to give the presents now.

Good luck!

Babysgotyoureyes · 24/12/2017 23:25

Please don't withhold her Santa presents. She's only 7 years old and it's Christmas.......I don't think I need say anything more.

WellAlwaysHaveParis · 24/12/2017 23:25

Wake her, tell her she's tried really hard most of the year and let Santa bring her presents.

Definitely this, OP. I do sympathise about the 'following through' idea. It might be best, though, to just have a chat with her another day about how it's important to be kind to others and to behave well.

I still think that she should have her presents tomorrow. It will be upsetting for her if she doesn't have any presents to open tomorrow, and probably something that she'd remember for the rest of her life.

Popfan · 24/12/2017 23:26

Omg you'll devastate her!! However horrible her behaviour has been no child deserves that to happen. Please please give her the presents and enjoy your day.

DonkeyOaty · 24/12/2017 23:26

What Greeny said ^

elQuintoConyo · 24/12/2017 23:27

Fucking 7? My DS has been a handful recently - but it is over-excitement of having xmas rammed down his throat for the last e weeks: school, tv, bus stop ads, xmas music, the tree, the idea of presents. Plus he is knackered from school (there aren't half terms here, he has been on the go non-stop since 12th September).

In the morning tell her Santa knows she had good intentions even though she was occasionally naughty. Write a note from Santa or something. Poor child.

Apparently in Belgium, Sinterklass would send naughty children to Spain Xmas Grin you could try that!

Pigeonpost · 24/12/2017 23:27

Our kids get potatoes in their stockings to represent presents which have been "taken away" because they've been naughty. Obviously no presents have been taken away and they've pretty much got what they've asked for (and more) but the potatoes work well in reminding them that they 'could' have got more. Even though the reality is that they wouldn't. They think it's hilarious and compete to see who gets the fewest...

Original poster
kittymamma · 24/12/2017 23:28

Thanks.... I feel like a total bitch now. I just needed to know it was ok to let Santa lose his credibility here..

OP posts:
CisCucumber · 24/12/2017 23:29

Punishment doesn't work
I don't know why more people don't realise that

Rossigigi · 24/12/2017 23:30

Please don't do that. Children can be hard work the week leading up to Christmas. Over excitement often causes bad behaviour, and I do think that this week is the only time we should be s bit leanient

Original poster
kittymamma · 24/12/2017 23:31

Oh and she wasn't getting NO presents. She still has lots under the tree. I was merely suggesting the SANTA ones (so 2 of them)

OP posts:
MrsBobDylan · 24/12/2017 23:31

I think using an annual event which is about peace and harmony to chastise and attempt to change a child's behaviour is a really terrible idea. Give her the presents and enjoy the day. Address the difficult behaviours after Christmas.

whiteroseredrose · 24/12/2017 23:31

There was another thread where someone wrapped a potato and there was a note from Father Christmas saying that he had another present that he did not give because of bad behaviour or something like that. Much better than nothing.

Barmaid101 · 24/12/2017 23:32

Put an extra tag on there from santa with him saying he is giving her the presents this year but she does need to watch her behaviour and he hopes to see an improvement next year. She still gets her presents so won't be heartbroken but her bad behaviour is still 'noted'.

policeboothunter · 24/12/2017 23:32

You'd really do that?

seventeenlittleducks · 24/12/2017 23:33

It's the excitement, my kids on and off the naughty list constantly he'll still wake up tomorrow to footprints leading to his Santa presents and the toys from us. It's Christmas let it go and have a lovely one the joy on their faces makes up for losing any credibility etc. Merry Christmas op!

Original poster
kittymamma · 24/12/2017 23:34

Thank you mumsnet. Advice taken. She is getting a letter and her presents!

To be honest... it's what I hoped you would all say anyway so I don't need too much convincing.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 24/12/2017 23:35

I think santa should be experienced enough to know children are tired after a term at school, ready for their break, and overwhelmed with christmas prep and behaviour can often refelct that mental exhaustion and he souldnt punish for understandable behaviour.

annandale · 24/12/2017 23:36

Every day is a fresh start. Let her enjoy Christmas and praise everything positive she does from the word go tomorrow. Give her chances to be her best self and appreciate her.

I think this is why my parents didn't do Father Christmas at all.

PurpleDaisies · 24/12/2017 23:37

Gifts should come from a place of love and not conditional on good behaviour which is impossible for basically anyone to keep up all the time.

I hate the idea of using Christmas as a behaviour management technique. It’s too far off to work with young children anyway. Immediate rewards/sanctions are miles better.

MakChoon · 24/12/2017 23:38

Exactly what bob said.

There's far better ways to connect with children and help them to understand how to be a lovely member of the family.

Being mean feels horrible and just doesn't work in the short or long term.

happinessishereblog.com/2017/12/dont-mean-christmas/

Marcine · 24/12/2017 23:40

Santa is supposed to be lovely and magical isn't it? Not a threat or tool of discipline. What credibility does he have to lose?
Don't base your parenting methods on mythical creatures!

Maryz · 24/12/2017 23:45

Do people really do this? Threaten small children with naughty lists? I said fuck off to religion when they started into threatening hell; this is worse.

If you can't get your children to behaving without using mythical beings, maybe change your methods. Sign up for a parenting course.

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