Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

D-BIL is CF of the year

81 replies

Babybubblescomingsoon · 24/12/2017 21:46

DH and I bought D-PIL a Christmas present. We're spending Christmas with my family in England and will fly out to spend new year with his family on the 28th.

D-BIL has just texted DH and he conversation went as follows

BIL: What have you got mum and dad?
DH: just a few little bits, wasn't sure what to get them.
BIL: Well tell me, I need to know what I'm paying for.

Shock BIL assumed he could freeload onto our present for PIL !! He's spending Christmas with PIL and has told them that their present from him will be arriving along with us, as we've gone 50/50 on it. This wasn't mentioned to us before tonight. AIBU to tell him to fuck off and drown him in a barrel of prosecco?

Thanks for bearing with me, I needed that vent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Babybubblescomingsoon · 27/12/2017 10:04

Thanks everyone- DH is french to doesn't mind speaking out Grin

However D-FIL has contacted saying that they were told their present from DBIL is arriving along with us, as we went 50/50 so apparently he has no shame.

Tempted to buy something reallllllly shitty at the airport, wrap it up In toilet paper and write 'from CF BIL' on it. Hmm

OP posts:
Hygge · 27/12/2017 10:07

Just tell FIL that BIL is wrong, you've bought your own gift and you have no idea what BIL is talking about.

Motoko · 27/12/2017 10:17

What Hygge said. Don't spend any money, and don't let him get away with it.

Ninabean17 · 27/12/2017 10:24

Make it clear to fil you have no idea where bil's present is. He's dug his hole!

Original poster
Babybubblescomingsoon · 27/12/2017 10:41

We're now in a difficult situation though. DBIL is the youngest and VERY spoilt, he can do no wrong. When I met him he wouldn't speak to me, and when spoken to in English, would reply to DH in french, because he didn't want me involved (I now speak french so it doesn't work). Turns out he's jealous that DH met someone and feels like I'm stealing his brother away. PIL brushed it away saying they're not going to be hard on him because he works hard/ is the youngest etc. So I know if we don't let BIL tag along on he gift, DH and I will definitely be blamed.

OP posts:
Sweetpea55 · 27/12/2017 10:49

So spoilt brat DBIL wins again,,,The more fool you iflet himget away with it.
He sounds like a right ignorant pig

Original poster
Babybubblescomingsoon · 27/12/2017 11:31

We won't let him get away with it. It just means that we have to be the villains of the holiday Angry

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 27/12/2017 11:38

So villians you will be.

No way would I bail out CF again !!!

HeckyPeck · 27/12/2017 11:39

I'd maybe reply to FIL with something like this:

BIL hadn't said anything to us about going 50:50 on presents and we thought he must have been sorting presents himself. I know it must be upsetting for you both to know he hasn't made any effort for Xmas, especially after all you both do for him. If it will make you feel better we can all pretend BIL has contributed to the presents.

honeysucklejasmine · 27/12/2017 11:39

So, did you tell pil presents were just from you?

Oldraver · 27/12/2017 11:41

So be the villians and have fun with it...I bet he will think twice about pulling this kind of stunt.

As long as you let him get away with it he will...there may be some painful moments in the meantime but it will be worth it

Motoko · 27/12/2017 12:11

So be the villains and wear it with pride. It shows that you're not going to put up with his shit, and not pander to the PIL view that he can do no wrong.

If they don't like it, tough shit. It's because of them never pulling him up on it that he's like he is.

violetbunny · 27/12/2017 12:20

I'd reply something along the lines of, "Really? That's the first we've heard of it! BIL loves a good joke, doesn't he? Grin"

BoomBoomsCousin · 28/12/2017 00:00

I sort of want you to wrap up an empty box and give it to them saying “This is what DBIL has contributed to for you,” then give them yours “and this one is from the Babybubble family”.

I’d probably say something more like “DBIL has not gone 50/50 on this. I don’t know why he’d lie to you about it. Merry Christmas!”.

I don’t suppose it really matters much. Parents aren’t going to change their opinion of CF DC because they are a CF again. But it would bug me.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/12/2017 00:06

I like BoomBoom's idea.
Or not even a box, just an empty envelope! "Here is BIL's contribution"

But you're right - if you make him look bad you're still going to be the villains of the piece. Might as well do it properly then! Xmas Grin

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 28/12/2017 00:10

I would just tell FIL that you weren’t aware of any such arrangement and that his gift is from the two of you only.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 28/12/2017 00:21

HeckyPeck is a genius when she said:

BIL hadn't said anything to us about going 50:50 on presents and we thought he must have been sorting presents himself. I know it must be upsetting for you both to know he hasn't made any effort for Xmas, especially after all you both do for him. If it will make you feel better we can all pretend BIL has contributed to the presents.

You're NOT the evil ones
BUT you are calling him out.

This is the best post I've read on MN all year bar none!

BewareOfDragons · 28/12/2017 11:06

I hope you called him out on it.

Wear your 'bad guys' badges with honour.

perfectstorm · 29/12/2017 16:07

BIL hadn't said anything to us about going 50:50 on presents and we thought he must have been sorting presents himself. I know it must be upsetting for you both to know he hasn't made any effort for Xmas, especially after all you both do for him. If it will make you feel better we can all pretend BIL has contributed to the presents.

Absolutely agree with this, with adding, "it has to be so hurtful, I know how I'd feel if one of mine grew up to do this and I am so sorry. Poor you."

If they want to be passive aggressive and manipulative about allowing their son to bully your DH and treating them like crap, then make it plain that you know what is happening and won't go along with their fantasies.

Families can be bloody awful.

babyjesuscomingsoon · 29/12/2017 16:59

Thanks everyone. We arrived last night. The booze is flowing and presents are being given tonight so we shall see how embarrassed BIL is when he has nothing to offer. Wine

PoorYorick · 29/12/2017 17:10

I'd rather be a villain than a doormat. Join us in the dark side, OP. We have prosecco and decent gifts.

poorbuthappy · 29/12/2017 17:15

Shameless place mark.

Let us know how it goes pls!!

HiggeldyPigsinblankets · 29/12/2017 17:23

people like him have no shame

WasDoingFine · 29/12/2017 17:29

OP - could you change your username back please so your posts stay highlighted

IggyAce · 29/12/2017 17:32

Just place marking for the update.

Swipe left for the next trending thread