AIBU to ask him not to dress up as Father Christmas?

[Journea]

So my parents are coming to us for Christmas Day. It would take me all day to explain the back history with them... My dad basically loves to be the centre of attention and also thinks that other people are in awe of him. I’ve never really got on particularly well with either of them but always invite them over for get togethers with us and my brothers and their families as I’d feel guilty if I didn’t.
Anyway last year when they came over for Christmas, Mum Dad dressed up as Father Christmas and walked down our street before coming into the house and giving my then 3 year old his presents. He is planning on doing the same this year and I’ve told him I’d rather he didn’t. Now my son is nearly 5, he understands and remembers more and we’ve told him that FC goes and has a sleep after delivering presents all night. We thought he’d be pretty confused if FC then showed up and also it is embarrassing. My dad is now not happy at being asked not to.
We said why couldn’t he go and walk around his own village if he really wants to attract himself so much attention. Deep down I’d rather they didn’t come at all but I would feel really guilty that they weren’t having a festive day ... then my dad would probably take offence again. He’s the type of person who of someone ‘wrongs’ him, he has to do something back. My DH doesn’t particularly enjoy their company - mainly because many many years ago some words were said and in retaliation my dad went into DH’s workplace while we were on holiday and told his boss how he’d seen a different side to my DH.
So... really sorry for long story... honestly could be here all day but mainly just want to ask... AIBU to ask him to just come as himself?

Does your DS understand about dress-up etc?

I'd be tempted to tell him that Grampa is arriving dressed as Santa!

Your dad sounds like a dickhead, he wouldn't have been welcome in my house again after that stunt with DH's boss unless he did some serious grovelling.

That would be a great idea and solution! DS does understand dress up and would totally get that. My Dad gets a kick out of DS thinking he is the real FC. That really would be a simple solution...

SnowannaRainbow ... I’m afraid I do agree.. he did that 10 years ago to DH and kind of made a half hearted apology when we told him we wanted nothing more to do with him. In all honesty, I wouldn’t mind cutting them out of our lives completely but the guilt of thinking I’d be a ‘bad daughter’ would be too much for me.

I'd be tempted to dress up DC and yourself too (but change very soon after they arrive!) That way you can say, "Oh, look DC, grandpa is dressed as Father Christmas, you're dressed as Superman and I'm dressed as an elf. Isn't that funny?"

Agree with the just saying to ds that Grampa is dressing up as Father Christmas.

that said, you are a bigger person than me, to continue to invite him after he embarrassed your dh at his work like that. What was he thinking ?

What he did to your Dh was appalling

But I get the impression they weren't liked/loved by you before that? What were they like as parents ?

And if you get DS to dress up too, you have the added advantage of pissing in his bean curd! (Your dad, not DS). Cute little superman or wrinkly Satan? Who will get the most attention? 😃😃

SANTA! Second timr I've done that today!

These are good ideas - if he insists on doing it then he will have to be outed! It’s also the sheet embarrassment of him walking down our street ... if I saw someone else randomly doing the same out of my window then I don’t know what I’d think. (Funnily enough we do have FC come round our streets giving out chocolates but he’s in a sleigh and surrounded by official helpers!)

Laurie ... I could write a novel about my childhood. It was a mixed one. I think deep down I’ve always craved the ‘perfect parents’ and always looked at my friends’ parents when growing up, wishing mine could be like them and nurture me. Dad was very controlling and dictating ... we weren’t allowed: to have friends around; to run up the stairs; to cook food with strong odours... list is endless. I could go in and on. Mum wasn’t like him and was ‘fun’ but there was always the worry of my dad. You wouldn’t believe that they are actually still together... Mum has often said she’s leaving him but she is trapped. In many ways they’re as bad as each other. Mum and I went to counselling a few years ago and she openly admitted that she never wanted children ... so she ended up with three (unplanned) children.
Anyhow I won’t bore you all... ‘‘tis has gone totally off of the original question!! I wish I had the guts to tell them to do one but I don’t. I honestly just feel sorry for them both in the way they lead their lives.

What he did to your DH is disgraceful. How can your DH have that man in the house? You’re married to a saint. You don’t have to be a good daughter. He’s not a good dad. I can’t imagine what sort of person does that. It’s thoroughly creepy and toe-curlingly embarrassing all at the same time. What a combination. I realise this isn’t really why you posted but I’m horrified! I hope tomorrow goes ok.

So sorry to hear that Journea - he sounds awful