To feel disappointed in DH?

[WishItWasntXmas]

NC for this thread. I'm feeling upset. I had a mc just over a month ago and I'm still feeling very raw about it. I should be 12 weeks and enjoying Christmas with my scan photos. I just want it to be January already so I can get back to work and take my mind of it.

Despite my mc I have bought all the presents as usual; my family 'do' presents more than DH's family so it makes sense for me to buy them as we just get bottles of wine for his side. I've wrapped all the presents, posted some off, sent the Xmas cards complete with photos of our recent wedding that I had printed weeks ago. I've done all this despite crying nearly everyday and wishing it weren't Christmas; just because I'm having a bad time it doesn't mean I should bring everyone else down.

DH has been patient with me and supportive. He works from home but says he's enjoyed having me around (I've been off work) and he brought me breakfast in bed every morning for the week after the mc.

So DH told me yesterday my Xmas present has been delivered to "a neighbour" but that they said they didn't have it. He's been out again today to try and find it. I'm feeling ridiculously upset; no present from DH this year until such time if/when he gets me a replacement. It's not as though he's been out at work and couldn't have things delivered, he works from home. I got everything sorted in advance, despite being unhappy, but he left shopping for my present until Thursday or Friday.

I know a present is just a present and Christmas is all about giving than receiving. But he only really had to buy one present and that was mine, it's not like Christmas is a surprise to him, he's had ages. AIBU to be upset with and disappointed in him? Maybe I'm feeling more upset about it than normal because of my current state of mind. I don't know.

I’d be disappointed too, I guess it depends whether you think he is telling the truth or not?

I’m so sorry about your mc.

Could it be that he does actually have the present but wants to hide it? Could the present be with the neighbour but it’s a pet?

I too first thought it was a pet.

Sorry to hear about your mc. That was me 18 years ago today so today is quite hard for me.

I suspect your dh does have your present but is keeping stumm for the time being.

DH is incredibly truthful, he wouldn't lie. I can't believe it's a pet either, mainly because there's no one we know well enough with a 20-min drive who would look after one for him until Xmas day. And he can't drive alone due to anxiety. Plus we live in rented accommodation. I just don't think he'd have mentioned anything if it was all in hand.

Sorry for your loss too, Haribo.

You are having a tough time, but clearly it was delivered when he wasn't in. He wouldn't have any control over that.

I recently nipped out for 10 minutes and missed a delivery. I also had a delivery and it had been taken to the delivery office and no card had been left.

If the delivery is lost then it really isn't his fault. It sounds like he has been great during your miscarriage. My partner went to Sainsburys during mine.

Yes but as the OP pointed out, she would t find herself wo a present if he had been much more organised and ordered said present a week earlier. That way any issue with the delivery could have been solved.

She did exactely that for all her family despite really struggling with the miscarriage. But he didn’t.

Wish I would have been gutted too and I get you will Be even more sensitive to those things.
(((Hugs)))

It's a lost delivery so not his fault. I had one of those last week but was lucky in that they sent a replacement. There's no way he could have foreseen it getting lost. I wouldn't be upset if my dh had done the same. I can understand that given your recent miscarriage you may be feeling more emotional than usual though.

YABU to be disappointed in your DH.

You are not unreasonable to be hugely disappointed at the world in general, which I think is the real issue here.