DD is 2 and has a number of diagnosises including one of asthma and damaged air ways and tubes. 2 weeks before Christmas last year she was admitted to Intensive Care with a bad chest infection, she spent 48 hours on PICU, 48 hours on PHDU and then 48 hours on a General Childrens ward. She was only taken off the Oxygen 4 hours before discharge and the Paeds doctors that operate the General Ward have since admitted that she should not have been discharged when she was and that too early a discharge has led to the damage of her airways. Since seeing the respiratory team in September she's been on a low dose of Pencillin to try and prevent further damage if she gets a cold or infection. Call me PFB or Overanxious or whatever but I am scared of her ending up on PICU again, she fitted 3 times while there, had to be put in a special bed to help her maintain her temperature after the 3rd time so I couldn't cuddle or hold her and H continued to work throughout it all (his way of coping) so only saw her for 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the evening while she was there so doesn't understand how scared I was of losing my baby. No mother should have to go through that, feeling so helpless, and thinking about it makes me cry thinking about it.
DD was sent home from Nursery on Friday after spiking a temperature, she missed 3 weeks of Nursery (1 week in hospital and then the doctors told us to keep for 2 weeks to avoid her picking up any further bugs - not that it mattered anyway as she's still damaged her airways) so Nursery are very wary of her getting ill again, they can be a bit overcautious but I believe it's for the best of intentions. She was ok after some calpol but not 100%, refused to eat anything.
And hasn't eaten since Saturday - this is a child who sits and eats from the buffet at parties instead of playing games, and who never normally refuses to eat anything offered. All she's done is sit and watch TV and will only take squash from a bottle - we only keep one bottle for times like now as she usually uses an open top cup.
I took her to the Out of Hours Doctors yesterday and they said her top back teeth are coming through and her throat looks red so possibly a cold or throat/nasal virus. They don't want to give her anymore medicine unless they have to and as her oxygen levels were maintaining themselves they have said just to keep an eye on her. She perks up on calpol and wants to play but she has a hip condition and is very unsteady on her feet which is a sure sign she's not very well at all. She also screams if I leave the room which is unlike her as she's used to being left at Nursery 3 days a week while I work. The cat who usually totally ignores her won't leave her alone, and is currently sat next to DD on the sofa. DD loves Christmas but I've just wrapped a present for H infront of her and she didn't even look at me 
We're supposed to be visiting family after we've had our lunch tomorrow. They're 20 minutes walk away, and I drive but don't own my own car, and my mums taken the only one I have access to down to London to see my granddad it's her car I just pay my own insurance and pay for any fuel I use so we'd have to walk there. DD is just not well enough I don't think.
H is shouting about it, his Mum didn't get to see DD last year as she was ill (no-one did, I didn't even let my mum visit her Christmas morning because I was so scared she'd end up back on PICU) and DH is saying it's not fair to his mum to miss 2 christmasses in a row. MIL can't come here as she goes to her parents over Christmas and they can't be left (usually her sister lives with her but she's gone to a friends for a "break" over the holidays). He's saying he's going to take DD anyway as his mum should get to see her only grandchild on Christmas Day. I've offered to to go round with her as soon as she's better, but H says it's not the same and that DD will get taken in by the excitement of it all - GMIL has nephews and nieces which are similar age to DD and will visit her at the same time tomorrow.
I want to tell him no, I don't want to push DD too hard and her end up on PICU again, which the respiratory doctor told us could happen if she's too ill. I just want her to have access to her own bed, and to be able to sleep when she wants not pretend she's ok when she feels rubbish. It's also not him that has to deal with an ill child in hospital if she ends up there, as my work is far more flexible.
So WIBU to text MIL now and explain about DD and say we won't be there? I know MIL will be disappointed, but I'm happy for H to make the walk himself to pick up presents etc if he's so insistent that DD have them tomorrow.