To feel empty

[EmilyStartfire]

Hello,

6 weeks ago my fiancé of 6 years admitted in not so many words that he is gay.
I told him to leave if he was and he did. Not a peep from him since. No respect or compassion for the bombshell he has just dropped. He sees the kids every second weekend.
We have two children.
How do I stop crying?

Oh Emily I'm so sorry, what a fucking nightmare.

You'll stop crying eventually, then thank your lucky stars that you didn't waste more time on him.

You don't until you're ready. I'm so sorry.

That must have been a terrible shock to you. But there is literally nothing you could do to save this relationship. If he is gay, then he has done the right thing to leave the relationship. It is still very new - obviously he has known for a while, but it is going to take you both a while to negotiate a new way of relating to each other and of parenting together. You will get over this with time. Do you have friends or family to support you?

Hi Emily,

I'm so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. You will stop crying when you are ready, and not before. It's heartbreaking but you will come out of this on the other side happier, healthier and stronger than you were before. You will love again I promise. Sending gentle hugs your way xxx

I have friends and family, but i feel so alone in this it's crippling.
I get up everyday, put my make up and my happy face on, but this knot in my stomach will not go.
He is so cold and I'm here trying to pick up the pieces. I feel like a robot.
I don't know what I want or need. Maybe a hug from him to tell me everything is okay? I don't know. I need release from this misery.

Emily hun he can't release you from this now, only you can and you need to stop looking to him to help you with this. I would imagine he is finding this really hard too especially with kids involved, he may feel guilty for not facing his feelings sooner and letting the relationship continue and having children knowing that this would have to come out one day. Have you got any friends nearby at all? x

Agree with laurie wise words don't look to him to make this better he can't do that for you and if he were to try it would be a lie.
Make things as bearable as you can to get through Xmas and then you can think about the future and what you want going forward.
Are you getting support from family and friends?

I have friends but I don't have many so I feel like a broken record when I have spoke to them. I can't go to the doctor because I don't need pills. I can't speak to him because he won't speak to me. I can't speak to my family as they are quite conservative. So I've come to you guys and you're just so helpful it's reduced me to even more tears.
I'm quite strong of character and everyone thinks I'm coping but I'm not. I cry at any opportunity I get on my own and the knot gets bigger and bigger. I do think he has some obligation to support me after stringing me along for so long

It must be such a massive shock I think you still need time to process the enormity of what he has told you.
Im afraid I don't have any experience or advice that could help you except for please be kind to yourself and look after yourself

Although it’s hard, and I feel so very sorry that you are dealing with this, put on your happy face and be determined to ‘fake it till you make it’.
2018, new year new you, can be the start of brighter horizons. It’s the perfect time to determine to be a different you. Only you can make things better, look inwards to fix this not at you ex. He has his own issues to deal with.
I am not good on the practical stuff, loads on here are so please do ask for specialist help -mumsnet is like having thousands if not milllions of best friends - who will give honest and impartial advice.
I wish you every success going forward In your own steady pace.

The doctors don't always just dish out pills straight away chick, I've had anxiety and depression since March and they didn't suggest anti depressants until June. They could look at talking therapy. Also they will never ever force you to take pills even if they think it's best! It's a short term sad time that's all. You can and will get through this. And in those really sad moments just look at your kids faces and smile at them. You have to stay strong for them no matter how hard it is... and i say this from experience x

How are you op