To feel too lucky?

[YellowFrenchFancy]

Hello. I've recently had my 1st child after 18 months ttc and on my last round of clomid before starting ivf. He appeared just over 5 weeks early but seems to be doing well. Recently I just feel like I'm almost too lucky. I avoided ivf after gearing up for it. Clomid was stressful but I got a baby when so many don't. AiBu? I think so

Yes, you are unreasonable to worry about it! You got your lovely baby, just enjoy!

You do not need to worry about others who have struggled with IVF. As long as you are sensitive and tactful around them!

It's not your fault others are undergoing IVF.

Enjoy your Christmas miracle.

I know I'm so weird

Yellow sweetie please don’t burden yourself with thoughts like that, though I am sure it’s hormones talking. Please remember that there is a huge scale of fertility and though you could say you are lucky not to have had to go through IVF you have had a much harder journey than many people and then it is very stressful having a prem baby too so that can’t have been an easy ride for you either. Your journey is yours and you have a wonderful baby now and that is all that matters... just embrace it and revel in it. And besides if you are too lucky having the journey that you have had, what does that make the likes of me who got pregnant straight away and had a full term baby?! Feel blessed not guilty, you deserve a bit of joy and others’ sadness is not your fault, but having been through tough phases you can sympathise and empathise with them which will be far more use than guilt.

You're both right. I worry he's going to be taken away when someone realised how lucky I am and I know thats batshit crazy

That's normal for a new mum. I was scared I would take the wrong baby home from baby group! I was worried they would get mixed up!

Hormones are a real pain, but it will pass. You cooked that baby up I'm your body. You deserve that baby.

Enjoy. You deserve to enjoy your new baby.

I don't think you're weird... I was exactly the same.

I didn't have IFV, but we couldn't conceive without help (think NHS turkey baster... it wasn't very sexy!). It took us 6 years to conceive.

Throughout pregnancy, I kept seeing scenarios where I lost the baby (falling over causing MC sort of thing), and then it carried on for about 3 or 4 years. Like... I'd be walking down the stairs (from bedroom to living room) holding the baby and i'd imagine I fell or dropped her. And I'd see it all in my mind's eye... the fall/her plummeting/her skull caved in.

I felt like I didn't deserve my baby, and that I'd lose her.

It was bollocks. She's 16 now.

Don't give into the fear. It's not a 'message'. It's just paranoia. And you're not weird and not alone.

It is paranoia. I'm scared to think about another baby too now