Please can someone talk to me

[Ikethebear]

I can't work out how to post on anything but aibu. My 6 week old dd has been admitted to hospital with some sort of infection. She has been fussy and miserable since last night but I thought it was classic colic. We called 111 when her temp rose. She s ok I think but they did suspect meningitis or sepsis. I keep thinking how awful I was not to act sooner. She didn't have a rash or any classic signs. I keep imagining what could have happened. We are in a room and she's fast asleep on me. They don't seem as panicked as they were when we arrived but I can't believe I was so useless as to not realise she was so poorly

Everyone in your position freaks out a bit, it’s normal, it’s the frustration of seeing your child suffer and not being able to make it better. Sometimes you just need to be there, and you are, in the best possible place. You’ve had the strength to get to where you are and you’ll get through the rest. You’re doing exactly the right thing x

Here's a hand hold. And good wishes for a speedy recovery

You've done nothing wrong, please don't beat yourself up.

If it makes you feel better I got a dressing down from a&e a few weeks ago for letting DS go to school after a nasty head injury, and it was no wonder he was as ill as he was. This a complete mouth wide open shock moment for me as literally the day before one of their own doctors told me he was perfectly fine to continue as normal but may need calpol .

Big hugs to you and your DD. Please don't beat yourself up, as someone else said it's hard as a mom to know when to get medical help or not for fear of being labelled dramatic and a worrier. But what matters now is she is in the best place and is getting any help she needs. It's never easy being in hospital with a child I've been there with DS2, I've blamed myself for not getting there sooner, for thinking somehow him being sick must be my fault and for not being able to make him better. But all she needs right now from you is to cuddle her, it works wonders. I also found it helped me to sing lullabies to mine, it soothes them and calmed me. I hope they find nothing serious and you get home soon

I’m here and listening.

Currently in hospital with my 5 day old baby, who was admitted today with jaundice. It’s rough, I’m shattered and very hormonal and it’s been a very long week. I’m not keeping it together very well.

It sounds like you’ve done exactly the right thing op, and you’re in the right place to look after your baby. They’re looking after her - you’ve got to be kind to yourself. Xx

Oh goodness , you are not useless ! Far from it . You knew she wasn’t right , and you sought help . Children can go from being bright as a button , to very poorly , and back again , faster than you can imagine . I once took my 18 month old DS with a very high temperature that refused to go down , and was thoroughly miserable to A and E in the middle of the night , whereupon he immediately became chirpy and bright right in front of the triage nurse . She was just about to send us home with a “it’s a virus , treat with calpol and monitor “ advice , when he turned blue , stopped breathing , and collapsed in front of her . She scooped him up and RAN to resus . Whereupon the whole team leapt upon him , only for him to then recover as if nothing had ever happened . It later turned out that he had breath holding syndrome . Never been so frightened in all my life . And I blamed myself too , even though there was no way I could have known , or indeed done anything differently .

Queen, I'm a peadiatric nurse and was just about to post exactly the same thing. There has been a huge drive to improve outcomes from sepsis. By early intervention and treatment. Was just going to add that a rash is a very late sign of septicaemia and sepia should not be ruled out just because there is no rash.
Op, hope your baby gets better quickly. Go and get a cup of tea while they do the LP. It's not a nice procedure. But LO will be ok with the nurses.

You are a good Mum. You care and have done all you can to care for your baby with all the knowledge and experience you have. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
You are both in the right place. Try not to worry too much. Be kind to yourself. Hope you are both home soon.

You're doing brilliantly and you acted as soon as you could.

DS had emergency surgery for testicular torsion last Christmas (2am Christmas day) so I really do understand how scary it is and I am still annoyed that I didn't get arsey and get him into surgery sooner. In fairness he was quite chipper but his balls swelled up so much during our six hour wait that he was walking like a gorilla.

Hope you're both home and well soon

You've done exactly what I would have done in the same circumstances, just luck of the draw that your baby ended up needing medical attention. You got her to the right place in the end didn't you. I think mums are mocked in our society for being PFB if we ever take our babies to the doctor so is it any wonder situations like this occur.

Same happened to me when my DD was 7 weeks. She slept through and then was super sleepy the next day. We carried on regardless and didn't think much of it. Went to a farm with our little boy and family, put her in the car to come home and she just didn't look right. Got her home and her temp was 39.7. Took her to the children's and she deteriorated fast. She was dehydrated, they couldn't get any blood from her, she had a lumbar puncture and they struggled to cannulate her because her veins had collapsed. All within 20 minutes of arriving. I honestly didn't think we'd be taking her home, so I know how you feel. She did have viral meningitis but she recovered fast and we were home 5 days later. It then came back again at 7 weeks! She's now 4 months and the picture of health! You are in the best place and small as they are, babies are stronger than you think.

It's a long wait for lumbar puncture results. I hope you are okay and managing some rest. Lots of love xx

She was 17 days the first time, 7 weeks the second #sleepdeprived

Hope you're feeling as good as possible in the circumstances .

It's really hard to tell with a newborn so don't blame yourself.

If it's any consolation, I nearly called an ambulance because of bloody croup as I thought it was an asthma attack. DS was positively perky by the time we saw an OOH dr as the cold air worked wonders .

And DS was nearly three so hardly a baby.

Shes fast asleep in the cot now. They are still planning the lumbar puncture. I wish i could have it done for her. The lovely nurse has got me some biscuits and all is peaceful. I will probably look back on this like it wasn't real. They said that if she continues to improve we can go home tomorrow evening. I was having major guilt at missing my 5 year olds Xmas morning. Oh the guilt. I wonder if it ever goes

Nothing to beat yourself up about - she needed medical help and you've got it.

Fwiw ds was admitted at about the same age and it was terrifying. Funnily enough I was talking about it recently (it's 11 years ago!!!) we never knew what it was but he got better :)

Hope you can manage to doze a wee bit

We had exactly the same scenario as Katurah-DS (then 3 weeks old) seemed sleepy and a bit off, took temp which revealed it was actually 39.6, went to out of hours doc and ended up being blue lighted to hospital. It also turned out to be viral meningitis but he rallied quickly and we were discharged after two days. He's now the smiliest toddling bundle of a 14 month old you could ever hope to meet. Good luck to you OP, you are in the best place, and you have done everything you can, so please be kind to yourself x

Yes mine had viral myocarditis - scary heart failure which 50-75% of newborn babies with die. You’d never know anything happened to her now - perfectly healthy rosy cheeked happy little thing. Kids are very resilient and it’ll be you that remembers this - the baby won’t have a clue!

How is she this morning op? Hope you got some rest too x

Thinking of you OP x

Floella. 'Getting arsy
' to get him into surgery quicker' wouldn't have got you anywhere. Torsions are an emergency and are always top priority to get done quickly. They probably couldn't do it any quicker.

Sorry to rant op, hope your little one is on the mend and you've had some sleep.

I don't know about your hospital, but my ward is like Santa's grotto at the minute. Piles and piles of presents and enough selection boxes to stock s shop. You might go home with more than you came in with!

Good morning op. I hope you and she are ok this morning.

I have been exactly where you are with a 7 week old (Ds1) and it's so bewildering and you feel so powerless.

Likely they will be hitting dd with antibiotics and antivirals until her bloods come back. Has she had a lumbar puncture now?

Ultimately. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF FOR ANYTHING! That way madness lies.

Your baby was/is poorly, you have sought medical attention. It is the right thing. You've got a whole childhood of balancing up being with one child and worrying if the other needs you too ahead.

If you have anything like a similar situation to ours, it was all go go go for days, flurries of activity and tests, observations. Then all of a sudden it felt like everything stopped, a brief pause and we were discharged. It felt like the security blanket had been pulled from under us when we were discharged home and I had long lasting paranoia about any high temperature, in any of the children, for a long time afterwards (not helped by Ds1 having ridiculously high temperatures for no apparent reason for the next 4 ish years).

Be aware that baby will be very clingy when all this is over. They are getting used to a lot of passing around and poking and prodding. We weren't able to hold Ds1 for about 3 days until his temperature was sufficiently under control and not spiking. Even though guidance would be not to have pillows at their age, the nurses fashioned him a sort of nest with a couple of pillows and a sheet so he felt like he was being held/hugged and I stayed close by, just stroking his hands or feet, talking and singing to him. It helped calm him and me!