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AIBU?

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Is one gift enough?

7 replies

Elsouth · 23/12/2017 22:46

Need some input here, some very last minute Xmas gift input! My BIL on-off girlfriend had a baby girl last Monday. This is a bit long winded so I'll try and summarise.
We fell out with my in laws back in June 16 for a few months. We tried to build bridges but then fell out again in June 17. But last month we all made a real effort and things are now pretty damn great with them. However younger BIL also fell out with us in dec 16. But we don't know why. He just stopped talking to us and even blanked our children! And while we've made up with the parents it's not clear where we stand with him. I've spoken to him in passing last month and he smiled and was ok. I got him a birthday card even though I'm sure he didn't get my 3yo one!
Well now BIL is not speaking to his entire family because they had an rant at him because he wasn't going to go to the hospital when his daughter was being born! (Eventually he did go) Everyone seems agreeable that he's become a different person. He's treated his ex awfully.

My issue is because of the falling out we didn't get anything for the baby at their baby shower (we weren't invited). His ex was caught in the middle so we didn't speak for a year either. The baby came two weeks early and while I've been and bought her a little outfit as a welcome to the world present, is it wrong that I haven't also got the baby an xmas present? Is one present enough? His ex told me they have bought our boys an Xmas present so I feel a bit guilty but also this guy has barely even acknowledged my children's existence.

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 23/12/2017 23:05

Is this your DH's brother's baby, i.e. his niece? If so, of course you should buy her a Christmas present! The 'welcome to the world' present is entirely separate.

Why would you think you shouldn't? Just because your niece's father is behaving like an idiot?

Runningwithscissors12 · 23/12/2017 23:08

The gift is for baby

Baby has done nothing wrong

Ergo ....buy the fucking gift

Stop creating more dramas and crises

TheFairyCaravan · 23/12/2017 23:12

I had both my children near to Christmas. With DS1 most people bought us 2 gifts however I didn’t expect them to and didn’t think anything less of those who bought just the one.

DS2 was 3 weeks early and came on Christmas Eve. We received ‘welcome to the world’ gifts for him.

I don’t think it’s wrong you haven’t bought a Christmas present, tbh.

Elsouth · 23/12/2017 23:12

Yes it his niece. See I'm swinging to the same opinion really, I will feel awful if we don't get her an xmas gift but I know DH will probably disagree, I'm convinced his argument would be BIL got nothing for our children's birthdays this year. (It took me a month to convince DH to get him a birthday card!). Shamefully it's only just occurred to me as we've had a lot going on and DH is fast asleep so I can't ask him and I'm thinking oh god where can I go tomorrow that won't be mayhem to get something if I do get him to agree.

OP posts:
Mousewatch · 23/12/2017 23:21

Why do you need him to agree? The baby is your DN too. Buy a present!

ChasedByBees · 23/12/2017 23:24

Most shops will have something suitable tomorrow. Christmas Eve where I am is usually quieter - everyone has finished by then. I do think you should get a present.

Elsouth · 23/12/2017 23:28

Simply because I don't have my own income and we budget quite strictly so I'd need him to pay for it otherwise I'd just go and get something. I may be completely wrong and he could agree. I'm probably just going into panic buy mode as I like to be organised and plan ahead and I'm worried I won't be able to get anything good tomorrow

OP posts:
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