Prawn Cocktails Made Me Fat

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Well, not really. But fatter

I posted about this at the time, slightly outraged. Now looking back I think it's quite funny.

My lovely Gran was a bit blunt and ha some really quirky ways. She passed away quite unexpectedly this year, and she meant the absolute world to me and I miss her every day. So,

At a family wedding they served prawn cocktail. We were seated with my grandparents and I remarked how much I love prawn cocktail and I could eat it every day (I did not mean I literally ate it every day)

Now, a week later I got a card through the door. It said

'So lovely to see you've put on so much weight () from eating Prawn Cocktails! We are so happy for you!'

The card contained a £10 note.

I think it was supposed to go towards the expense of buying the ingredients for my quotidian prawn cocktails.

Every time I saw her since she would remark that the 'Prawn Cocktail' diet was making me look 'ever so well', and when we went to Morrison's cafe for lunch she'd make a big point of making sure I had a prawn Marie rose sandwich and remark to the cashier that it was all I would eat

When I was younger I barely ate a thing, I had treatment for an eating disorder. I was a size 4-6 till I was about 25. Then I started eating somewhat normally (prawn cocktails and all) and am now a 10-12.

My gran was obviously pleased and assumed it was down to prawn cocktails. But pointing out the gain in a card stung a bit at the time!

What I wouldn't give to have her back this Christmas though! She was so funny.

Anyone care to share anecdotes about people who will sadly be missing from your Christmas this year?

That's a lovely lovely story. Thanks for sharing. Cheers to all absent loved ones, their loss felt so keenly at Christmas.

Oh I remember this at the time.

What a lovely memory for you. I’m sorry for your loss.

My favourite Aunt died in January a few years back. She was awesome, drank like a fish and smoked until she got ill. She had awful taste in clothes, lots of velour and sequins, put pulled it off with aplomb. I can’t walk past a glittery top in a shop without saying, ooh that’s a bit Aunty T, innit. She had a laugh that could stop traffic, a proper cackle. Family gatherings are that bit duller without her.

Your Auntie sounds fab!

you paint a lovely picture of her, I felt I could imagine just what she'd be like

My great aunt passed away a couple of years ago now, she was in her late 90s and fiercely independent. When I was a child I lived with my widowed grandmother for a while. DAunt was her SIL and for a while she lived with us after she divorced her husband. One day I came home from school to find she had moved out unexpectedly, and was told that she had got herself a little flat and moved because of that. When she died (some 30 years later) I was told the real reason she moved out - my nan came home from work to find DA having sex in the front room with a random bloke she had brought home. My nan was angry that she didn't have the decency to ask if she could bring a man home and that she didn't keep to her bedroom, and they had the mother of all barneys and DA decided she would be better off leaving. I had no idea that this had happened.

We also found some nude photos of her in her 60s taken on what appears to be a nudist beach when we cleared her flat out. She was quite a woman

My granny made the most amazing shortbread, and she was a fabulous wonderful lovely human being who treated everyone with kindness and grace. I will never forget how proud she was when one year the organist at the chapel she went to couldn’t play on Christmas morning and i was able to step in and play at the last minute. I honestly thought she would explode with pride that her granddaughter from london had managed to fit it in to her busy schedule and she introduced me to everyone and I was treated like a celeb and plied with cake 😂 I miss her, a lot. She was ace.

Oh Cakes that is lovely! She must have been so excited!

And NoneForGretchen wow!!

At my gran's funeral, I had all these ladies 'from the hairdressers' come up to say hello to me and give me a hug. They knew all about me as my Gran would tell them all my news every time she went in to get her hair set. I had NO IDEA that getting your hair set was a weekly commitment so that was literally hundreds and hundreds of weeks-worth of my 'news'.

My great grandma sadly passed a at in November this year at the age of 98.

She was hilarious and had such a mischievous aura around her; she always had a twinkle in her eye.

I have two favourite memories of her:

1 - Being when she asked where ‘Garibaldi’ was. Garibaldi being my son who’s name does begin with a G but is definitely not Gary 😂

2 - Her eye sight began to fail during the last months of her life and we were round hers having lunch. My cousin was holding my DS who was only four months at the time. He gave my DS back to me and went to get a baguette and came back and began eating it when my grandma exclaimed ‘J, DON’T EAT THE BABY’ 😂

Gosh, I will miss her this Christmas.

"Don't eat the baby!"

That's so funny, Racing !

Lido it was hilarious! My poor cousin was spluttering that he wouldn’t eat the baby. And my grandma stared dead at him and shook her head. It was one of the funniest moments I remember 😂

This is such a lovely thread. I miss my nana, who was a big, lovely, generous personality. My brother and I were having a wistful laugh about her the other day because he recently had his first child and we were saying that nana would have literally been showing people in the street the picture she'd have been so proud. She must have driven her friends and acquaintances mad with her boasting about us but it was so sweet - the day I got offered my university place she immediately booked to have her hair done just so she could tell everyone in the salon that 'our Lisa is going to CAMBRIDGE you know'. Grandad, her husband, was just as doting - he used to make jam tarts from scratch for me every single time I visited because I once said I liked them. I remember when nana died saying to my DH that now I was no one's granddaughter (she was the last of my grandparents to go) and that you don't get many people in your life who love you like she and grandad loved their grandchildren.

Part of Christmas for me are the ghosts of Christmas past, those people who are no longer with us who “made” our Christmases with their contributions and who were the light of our lives. I always raise a glass at Christmas to my old mum and my grans and treasure the memories and enjoyment we had at Christmas when they were alive . I think these memories are sometimes what makes Christmas a bittersweet experience and for some people causes internalised stresses as well as fond memories. It all comes towards you at Christmas

Every year my Grandmother would buy packs of tights or knickers for me and my sister. Very practical, apart from the fact that she used to get the completely wrong size for me and it would change year by year. My slim sister would get size 8-10 every year, whilst static size 14 me would get anything between sizes 16-20. Those squishy little parcels under the tree became a running family joke, at my expense of course

Its sad to think I won't be getting one this year or the years to come.

My dear nan had a huge family and was not very well off. For Christmas each year we got something from the discount store. A box of toffifee each. She was so pleased she could buy us something we liked even on a budget. All my Christmas memories include the post present opening playing with new toys whilst eating my 'special' chocs. I miss her and the chocolates

I also remember her whooping it up on the dance floor at my sister's wedding with two gay ushers. They were in kilts and wore tartan jock straps under. Have a cracker of a picture of them flashing her.

Complete contrast to my GPILs. They objected to their gay sons civil partnership with his partner of 30 years so it was cancelled which meant husbands uncle died intestate and cost a fortune in inheritance tax.

I've lost my much beloved Grandma and Grandad this year, my Grandad only just this month. They are utterly connected to Christmas to me, and this means I'm finding it very difficult at the moment.

I miss my grandma with her tins of quality street, Bombay mix and salted peanuts. I miss us all eating lunch around a tiny table with various unsuitable chairs. I miss the evening Christmas soaps being on blisteringly loud. But mostly I miss my entire, large, extended family being squeezed into a tiny front room, roasting hot and lots of us sat on the floor, but we're all there because we adore the two people whose house it is. They are so missed.