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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tell me I am...

11 replies

foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 21:07

To cut a long story short.

Our eldest DD has been poorly for the last 3 days. Vomiting bug and now a cold. She has asthmatic tendencies. Colds usually bring on symptoms. We’re currently off all meds while the doctors work out whether we have an asthmatic child or a child that wheezes with a cold and they hope she’ll grow out of it.

DH has for the last 3 days been out for his work do and today was out from 2pm with friends. I have been away with the kids to see my family DH was working. 260 mile round trip 6 hours of driving.

The last two nights I’ve looked after older DD. The first night up with her vomiting the second night up with the coughing giving reliever inhaler and holding the sick bucket.

DH has been on a pre-booked day out with his friends and I said I think DDs symptoms are exacerbating and I’ve driven home
For 3 hours with the kids. Giving reliver inhaler. On top of this of course I’ve done all wife work of organising all presents for his family my family. The kids.

Was I unreasonable to say to him - Older DD is poorly I’m worried. What time are you home? For him to say 7pm and then he to walk through the door 9pm pissed. Honestly I fucking make this house function. I do bloody everything. I needed him to help with the youngest child while I looked after poorly child. All I needed was another pair of hands.

I’ve single handedly cared for the kids the last three days at my family’a house. They all work but helped in the evenings. I’ve done 3 practically sleepless nights.

I just feel like throwing the towel in and saying do you know what - wouldn’t it work better if we just separated. On a side note we sleep in separate bedrooms and haven’t had sex for 3 months. Aibu

OP posts:
foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 21:13

And we were due to come home today as we are spending Christmas at home. I wish I had just stayed another day with my family. I really thought he would just come home and help me with HIS children

OP posts:
DesignedForLife · 23/12/2017 21:50

YANBU. All hands on deck when sickness bugs hit, especially if multiple sicknesses. Is he in tomorrow? I think you need a lie in & leave him to if for a few hours.

DesignedForLife · 23/12/2017 21:53

Also how often is DD having reliever inhaler? Sounds like a lot, does she need a course of steroids? My nurse told me if I'm using it 10 times in a day I need to be seen asap.

foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 21:53

Yes it’s Xmas Eve. We have nothing planned. I was hoping he would be home between 7-8 and I could go out and pick things up for a nice breakfast tomorrow. As it stands we’ve argued got the kids to bed and not eaten.

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foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 21:55

It’s just today she’s had it overnight twice and then 3 times today 2 puffs. We’ve got her action plan. So I know what to do. But I can give 2-4 puffs for her cough. No wheeze. She’s asleep now. But am worried. He thinks he’s capable being pissed to look after her overnight.

I’m going to make myself a quick omelette and then camp in with older DD for another night I can’t trust him after he’s been drinking and then thinks it’s ok to carry on drinking when he gets home

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 23/12/2017 21:55

He's being very unreasonable, you aren't. I'd take your Dd to the emergency doctor or a and e.

foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 22:02

@DesignedForLife and @brizzledrizzle.

I can’t be sure what to do. She’s asleep now. I can’t hear her coughing at the moment.

I of course will have to overnight.

She’s also just had a vomiting bug therefore I can’t be sure her pale skin and general lethargy is because of that. She’s eaten well today. Or as well as can be after a tummy bug.

I’ve given her some calpol and reliever she very rarely needs her reliever. I can’t even be sure it’s helping her cough. I need to look at the asthma plan again

OP posts:
DesignedForLife · 23/12/2017 22:06

How old is she? Does she seem to be struggling to/working hard to breathe at all?

foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 22:32
  1. Breathing seems ok. He’s knocked out in spare room. Hoping he’ll sober up.

Need to sleep. So exhausted

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SantaClauseMightWork · 23/12/2017 22:41

That is unacceptable behaviour. He is the father. He takes half the share. YADNBU

foolsgold84 · 23/12/2017 23:38

He informed me he does his share as he spent 7 hours building a desk and a kitchen (toys).

Mmmm yeah. That’s a lot mate!

DD seems to be breathing soundly and fast asleep. Going to listen one more time. Tempted to bring her to bed with me. But she’s fast asleep and don’t want to disturb her. Little toddler is asleep in cot.

DH is snoring very loudly fully clothed in the spare room. When he wakes up he’ll realise what a twat he has been.

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