Long backstory but DM lives overseas (v far away) and is visiting my dsis who lives near me as she's just had her first baby.
I'm a single mum whose DC are with their dad every Xmas to new year as he's self employed and that's his only days off each year. V hard for me and always has been but DC love it. We do long summer holiday together instead, and I get Xmas Eve, but the Xmas break can be agony.
DM and dsis are peas in a pod and were v put out when my marriage broke down. Avoided me, would change subject if I talked about it. On my first Xmas alone (last year), didn't get so much as a Xmas card from either. Was very hard.
My lovely DP took me away for the break and wiped my tears away and in the end it was a positive experience. So, this year, despite DM being in country, I'm going away with DP again while DC are with ex.
But DM and Dsis are v mopey and sad about this because they feel I should be spending Xmas with family in light of the new baby. DM in particular.
These are two women who forgot my fucking birthday this year. Eventually got a text off both of them at suppertime, clearly sheepish.
Aibu to not want to spend Xmas with them even though there's a new baby and DM isn't always here for xmas? I'm feeling guilty and pissed off by the occasional pass agg texts from them both, they are ramping up the emotional blackmail and clearly hoping I will cancel plans with my DP and go to spend a dutiful Xmas with them...
I can appreciate dsis wishes she could have an idyllic Instagram worthy family Xmas and is sad and pissed off that I won't play ball.
But it's not my problem is it?
Am I being unreasonable... Would anyone do different in my circs?