Bit of Christmas Fun

[maryclare]

OK, AIBU has had some harrowing topics this year, so I think it's time us Mumsnetters (elves) had a break and some fun.
AIBU to ask you what's the daftest question you've been asked?
I'll start you off. Watching TV with DC and was asked, "Did xxx actor make this film before he died?"

My pencil needs sharpening (work avoidance technique if I ever saw one!)

One work colleague to another: if twin 1 is 6, how old is twin 2? Also, having established that one was male and one female: are they identical?

"is he a girl or boy"

When is my birthday?

Adult.

My nephew asked my husband if the 6 foot tall Sheffield Wednesday FC mascot was a real owl.

Not a question, but a stupid response....

Went in a cafe and there was a curry on the specials bored. I asked the waitress what it was like, hot/mild/coconut/veg in it etc etc and she very helpfully described it in quite some detail.

Me "go on I'll have the curry"

Waitress "sorry we've none left"

“Who wrote Anne Frank’s diary?”

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard ever again

'Miss is New York a city or a country?'

And having just read a letter where a man referred to a woman as a tart (discussing negative language towards women etc.)
'Miss why is he calling her a pastry?'

My DH 'what's that TV programme? You know, the one with the universities and the challenge?'

Rule off your last piece of work and start straight underneath.

‘Miss, Miss, I have one line left, shall I start there?’

What language do they speak in Switzerland, class? (12 year olds)

‘Erm, Switzerlandish, Miss?’

Write this at the front of your books.

‘Miss, on the cover?’ Wtf??

"Do you wear glasses?" Whilst wearing glasses.

"Yes."

Paperdove, to be fair New York is both a city and a state. OK that's not a country, but they might have known it wasn't just a city, hence the question.

I once booked my car in to have the brake light fixed ........

"Front or rear light" asked the man on the phone .

"Erm, rear" ( don't know about your car but mine has brake lights at the back !)

@CrackersForlt true but they were trying to guess which city the Christmas tree was in, in the Christmas quiz.

The crepe egg question upthread is my favourite.

My cousin....
"Oh remember The Head from art attack! What was it's name again?" 😂

My mum asked me on December the 1st how many days until Christmas. I responded usually 25 unless it's a leap year. She was satisfied .

My daughter was in the park with our dog, we live abroad, someone stopped and asked her if the dog speaks English too. To which my sassy 11 year old replied "He's a dog!"

What time does the 24 hour garage open?

Explaining the funeral plan advert to DD, I said 'your nana has one'

'Oh when's the funeral?

(Not sure she's set a date just yet)

“So how are your twins? They must be, what, eight and twelve by now?”

Another twin one:
Are they twins?
Yes.
Are they identical?
No. They’re a boy and a girl.
Yes, but are they identical?
No. They’re a boy and a girl.

My best one as a teacher was during an RE lesson, we'd been discussing Monks and Nuns and the fact they were celibate. One lad piped up, 'Celibate miss, so they don't have sex?
'Yep, that's right'. He looked confused for a minute and then said,
'So why haven't they died out then?'
Once I'd stopped laughing I pointed out that Monks and Nuns wouldn't have baby Monks and Nuns if they did have sex!

As a parent, I had my, admittedly close in age, daughters in the double buggy. The lady behind the till complimented me on my beautiful twins. I said thank you but they're not twins, she replied, 'are you sure?'!!

When faced with 2 cars- 1 with bikes on the roof and laden with bags, and one with a flat tyre, DS asked “Which car are we going in?”.

Sat in doors in the warm my partner went out into the garden (it had been snowing) it doesn't feel that cold out there he said...but touch the snow and it's freezing

Another twin one, how did you manage going from one child to two ?

Colleague to (very tanned) taxi driver she knew, “Do you get a tan by resting your arm out of the window when you’re driving?”

“No, because then only one arm would be brown.”

“How would it? You could do the other one on the way back.”

Shockers my brain can't cope with that this early in the morning