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Original poster

...to ask when FF becomes actually safer than RF?

30 replies

crazycatlady5 · 23/12/2017 16:00

Soz, I spose I’m posting for traffic.

My 11 month old hates the car with a passion. She always has but it’s just got worse and worse. I’ve just driven 4 hours to see family for Christmas and she screamed the entire time. I stopped occasionally when I could to calm her down but it makes no difference. I try various distraction techniques but it doesn’t work. It was so stressful I felt like I might crash at any moment. So my question is, who has felt going FF in the hopes it might improve how baby feels in the car is actually SAFER (because you’re not so distracted you feel like you can’t drive safely) rather than stay RF?

Before anyone posts stats and facts about why ERF is safer I do know all that Smile

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 23/12/2017 16:04

I'm a big advocate of RF, but I think the moment the driver becomes constantly distracted then FF is a better bet.

A good quality, well fitted FF seat in the middle of the back seat is safer than a distracted driver in my view. No science in that, but a distracted driver can never be safe (assuming FF solves the issue, which it may not, she may just hate the car).

TuckMyWin · 23/12/2017 16:05

Do you have a tablet? You can get tablet holders to strap to the headrest - nextbase do one that is crash tested that would work rear facing - as a distraction?

Also, is she still in the infant carrier, or an erf seat? The stage 1 rear facing seats are more upright and they can see more, she may prefer that.

MrTrebus · 23/12/2017 16:06

What are RF and FF

Original poster
crazycatlady5 · 23/12/2017 16:08

@TuckMyWin we’ve have an ERF seat for a month now as I thought that might help, it actually did a couple of times but then we were back to square one. The tablet also we use and that works to a point but then she loses interest.

OP posts:
Original poster
crazycatlady5 · 23/12/2017 16:08

@MrTrebus rear facing and forward facing car seats.

OP posts:
Original poster
crazycatlady5 · 23/12/2017 16:09

@lalalalyra thanks for your post

OP posts:
reallybadidea · 23/12/2017 16:09

I can't give you statistics, but I had exactly the same issue with DS3 who improved absolutely massively by moving him to front facing. I felt that it was simply too distracting to drive with a screaming baby. Like many things, it's a judgement call - it's almost certainly likely to be absolutely fine, but no one can say for sure. Likewise nobody can say for sure that one day you won't crash through being distracted. This parenting lark if tough...

LokiBear · 23/12/2017 16:11

My 11 month old travels ff for similar reasons.

pitterpatterrain · 23/12/2017 16:12

We had similar with DD2, probably not convenient but we have so far planned to only drive at her bedtime, remaining RF - so leaving 7-8pm and arriving 3-4 hours later as at least it is her bedtime

Yes agree with PP you are better driving not distracted as it is exhausting to drive when they are screaming their heads off

DoublyTroubly · 23/12/2017 16:13

Can you put her in the front seat? As long as you can turn the airbag off then it’s as safe as the back, plus she will still be able to see you x

reallybadidea · 23/12/2017 16:16

Actually I thought that front seat was less safe than the rear passenger-side seat regardless of airbags. Is that not true?

IrrationalFamily · 23/12/2017 16:18

Slightly different but I moved DC from a stage 1 to a high back booster earlier than I should have because he was just a nightmare every time he went in the stage 1 wanting to be like his older sibling.

He tried to get out and often managed to get his arms out no matter how tight I pulled it. Screaming blue murder all the while.

The high back booster doesn't improve it completely but he is much better.

So yes, I would move him to FF.

Frustratedboarder · 23/12/2017 16:19

Just coming on to say the same as Doubly - if I'm driving and on my own I've put DS in front seat with bag off before, he loves it! I've also gone into the back seat with DD when DP was driving..
Guessing you already have a large mirror affixed to the seat so DC can see all around?

53rdWay · 23/12/2017 16:21

I would definitely give FF a try. It didn’t help my car-seat-hater so we stuck with ERF, but if it had helped lessen the screaming I’d have gone with that as the safer option in a heartbeat.

moggle · 23/12/2017 16:23

Is she still in her infant seat? Just that moving up to the next RF seat usually gives a way better view for them than the group 0+ ones. Obviously an expensive mistake to make though there are many seats that both RF and FF. my DD can see so much sitting up in her RF seat. (she’s 3)
Also are you sure FF will improve things? Have you borrowed one to try?

hidinginthenightgarden · 23/12/2017 16:24

We did FF for the same reason. We found those seats that could recline were a good compromise.

lalalalyra · 23/12/2017 16:38

crazycatlady5 Is she better if someone sits in the back with her?

Just with you saying about the ERF seat helping a few things then not, I'm wondering if the issue isn't direction, but the car in general.

Just before you go an spend on a FF seat and then discover it doesn't help. Does anything distract her?

NeurodiverseNancy · 23/12/2017 16:47

Do babies get motion sickness? I am super unqualified to even comment but I wonder if the car is making her feel queasy and that's causing the issue.

Weezol · 23/12/2017 16:52

FF - front facing, RF - rear facing at a guess.

crazychemist · 23/12/2017 16:53

Poor you! My DD is great for short journeys but would be a nightmare on a long one - is yours better when there is someone in the back with her?
I got my DD a seat that goes up to age 7 and can face either way. I've actually been able to keep her RF (she's now 15 months) because the new one was higher so she had a decent view out of the window.
It's prettt important not to be distracted while driving, I second the pp who suggests you disable the front passenger airbag and try her there. Or perhaps a nice big mirror? Otherwise, FF in the middle is better than RF and screaming!
The other thing that has helped my DD is playing music that is familiar to her - we played it a lot at home and she really liked it, so now we play it in the car.

Original poster
crazycatlady5 · 23/12/2017 18:49

To answer a few questions, I’ve had her in the front for months as thought it would help but it hasn’t - I’ve already got a convertible car seat (can be FF or RF) so can trial FF but haven’t so far as a lot of people demonise you for even considering! It doesn’t make a difference if anyone else is in the car with her, and OCCASIONALLY Disney songs work (if I sing along at the top of my lungs, also distracting me from driving Grin )

Thanks for all the super helpful input!

OP posts:
Rachie1986 · 23/12/2017 18:57

We genuinely felt this with DD so turned her forward as soon as we could. She got so agitated facing backwards and was much better once she could see us/more.

lalalalyra · 23/12/2017 21:44

In your shoes I'd try her ff in the middle back seat. Not only is it the safest seat, but you get a good view out of the window so is one of the better seats if it's travel/motion sickness that's bothering her.

Fitzsimmons · 23/12/2017 21:47

DS would scream until he vomited. A couple of times he choked on his vomit and I had to do emergency pull overs. I turned him around as soon as he was at the minimum weight and he stopped screaming. No regrets.

FruitCider · 23/12/2017 21:53

My child used to vomit horrifically rear facing. I was all set on ERF but ended up going FF bang on 9.0kg and they have travelled like a dream ever since x

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