I don't get the big deal over Christmas food shop

[NeverUseThisName]

Thread after thread about the hideousness of the Christmas food shop, starving to death in queues, hysteria in the pickles aisle, road-rage in the carpark, substitutions and OOS in the orders etc etc.

Why do people put themselves through this?

Why don't people prepare early? It reduces the strain and spreads the cost.

We prepped all our meat and froze it a few weeks ago. Everything that can be made ahead or is long-dated, like cake, pudding, biscuits, booze etc, was made or bought in the past month or two. Ingredients that are essential for last-minute cooking were also bought early. All that's left to buy is fresh stuff, like milk and veg. Not huge amounts of stuff, and things that we can compromise on if something's OOS.

Are we weird to do it this way?

And this is not a stealth boast. We prepare in exactly the same way for any big festive occasion.

(Post edited by MNHQ)

But you did ask "why do people put themselves through this" after describing shops and your opinion of them. And then "Why don't people prepare early?" You are strongly implying that your way is the best.

And now you have lots of answers to your questions.

Happy Christmas OP

No you are correct . Some years I have done the same .

However this year has been extremely busy and have problems at work and trying to help out family and it has not been possible which actually adds to the stress and now my dh is in bed sick so it’s all down to me .

It’s not always that simple .

Are you Nigella or Kirsty?

I am chronically ill. My health waxes and wanes. When I’m feeling a little better, I’m playing catch up, not advance planning. Many people aren’t advance planning because they’re busy fire fighting. Satisfied?

Yup that's us this year, I usually go shopping on Saturday but not this week

I was in Morrisons today and watched the obscenity of massive loaded trollies that must have had at least £200 worth of shopping in while a homeless man sat outside on the bench. It made me feel sick

I shop in Morrisons AND help homeless people . It’s not an either/or. People with big families have to eat too, why on earth are you judging them when you were shopping there too?

What are you doing about homelessness @irritateduser1960?

I was going into Morrisons for some dinner ingredients and it was absolutely rammed with families buying tonnes of food. There was a guy outside who appeared homeless but wasn't begging. Just sat on a blanket in the cold, scruffy and dirty looking. Only clocked him on my way out as I was in a rush (of I'd have asked what he wanted me to get him) so I gave him a tenner

@lemonshark - please PLEASE don’t do this. I appreciate your kind thoughts but this money will almost certainly be spent on alcohol and drugs. Instead please give your time, money or goods to charities that work with homeless people.

Or donate to a food bank .

Or offer to have cofffee / meal with the man in Morrisonns cafe and spend some time with him ( although he probably wouldn’t go and lose his pitch ).

Cash in hand is a bad thing. There’s an increase in fatal drug overdoses at Christmas and one factor is people giving money because they feel guilty . That tenner could buy a bag of heroin which could be someone’s last.

Most rough sleepers have very complex needs which sadly can’t be solved by a few quid.

Kr1st1na I get what you mean, but if PP gave him £10 it was with the best of intentions and no-one has any right to dictate how it's spent.

Christmas shopping IS a nightmare though as it's so frenzied! And everything shuts down for a while! Most people are so busy with work/kids that they have to do last minute shopping.

I think I'm nearly done now, just a few bits to go...

Kr1st1na Huh?

As I mentioned in my post, I normally do offer to go buy somebody whatever they want in the shops. Then I can give them a bag of whatever they like.

But on other occasions I give money, and very happily, with full knowledge that when it's out of my hands the person can spend it on whatever they like. I find it infantilising and patronising to take the approach of 'I won't give you money in case you spend it on drugs/drink': I give money because that person has none/very little, and as a fellow adult human being I feel they're more than able to decide what they feel is the best use for their own money. Maybe this is a radical view but if someone wants to spend the tenner I give them on a bottle of cheap vodka or several bottles of cheap cider or a bag of H they're going to source one way or another anyway, then that's fine by me. The money is a gift. No strings attached. If I was concerned about only specifically enabling someone to eat I wouldn't give anything if I couldn't give food.

People on the streets have very little agency or control over their lives. I'm not about to try and remove more from them. If you've ever worked with people with substance abuse problems you'll know they will find a way, whether they're given cash or not.

And it's not either/or btw. You don't know a thing about what charities I support and volunteer for or the work I do for homeless individuals. It's naive to assume that someone giving a homeless person money is simply being foolish and not thinking it through instead of making a considered well thought out decision based on a respect for someone's personal autonomy.

Look, I appreciate you almost certainly feel your post is coming from a place of harm reduction and you're trying to educate others on what you see as the best way to help people but it comes across a little patronising and directive, which doesn't really open people's eyes to your argument.

Kr1st1na I get what you mean, but if PP gave him £10 it was with the best of intentions and no-one has any right to dictate how it's spent

Indeed, that’s why I thanked the poster for her kind intentions.

And I’m not sure who you think is trying to dictate how it’s spent ? The post didn’t mention anything like that , the posters says she just gave the money to the man.

I’m sure she thought she was doing a good thing.

I did the same. Grandchildren arrived for the day last Sunday and are still here, one son home. Had to go out today and replace all the stuff they had eaten. To add insult to injury I ended up wrapping up GCs Christmas presents for parents, aunts, uncles etc. And I had been congratulating myself on everything being done weeks ago. Last minute prep next year.

I do think it's a bit weird to be freezing rhe meat weeks in advance and hiding cakes and booze under your child's bed. Why not just put your money away and just have it delivered at the time? I honestly couldn't be arsed with all the effort

@lemonshark - please PLEASE don’t do this. I appreciate your kind thoughts but this money will almost certainly be spent on alcohol and drugs. Instead please give your time, money or goods to charities that work with homeless people.

You have no idea why this person is homeless or on what they will spend this money. You may well be correct, but you may not and lemonshark's kindness could have made a huge difference to that person. There are many reasons why a person is homeless, please do not assume they are all drug addicts and alcoholics.

Yes Kr1st1na, I was doing a good thing. It may differ from your idea of a good thing but perhaps people have the right to decide what they think is best in these circumstances?

It's not for me to have an opinion on where somebody is on their journey with addiction and from my extensive experience working with drug and alcohol dependent people (largely in the criminal justice system), and losing a relative to alcoholism, I know that somebody in active addiction will find a way to meet their physical and psychological need for drugs and alcohol when they're at the height of addiction. That's none of my business unless I'm a drugs worker they've approached for help. I fully understand why others may not be comfortable giving cash to people who are homeless if they feel they're indirectly supporting the drug trade or contributing to dangerous behaviour but to say it's wrong for someone fully aware of those issues is sanctimonious. As I've said, it boils down to the fact that being homeless doesn't mean you should have all of your personal autonomy and right to make (sometimes unwise) decisions taken away, and money is given freely as a gift, from someone with an abundance to somebody in need. With no strings attached.

Do you think it's wrong to give benefits to people who are alcoholics and addicts btw?

I hate the stupid yearly posts about how it's just a big roast dinner and shops are only closed for one day so why do people pile their trolley up so high etc. Here is why:

1. They quite possibly have a house full of guests
2. Some of the items they are buying could be presents
3. Some of us don't want to go grocery shopping the day or even the week after Christmas

Kr1 seemed to be an assumption that it would be spent on drugs/alc, and that this was wrong.

PP just wanted him to have some spending power as a temporary measure, whatever he did with it

Thank you Wilburissomepig and BulletFox. I'm pretty surprised to be being told what to do (and chastised for doing something kind) by a complete stranger who clearly thinks they know more about a homeless person they've never met and my own knowledge and understanding of homeless/MH/addiction issues than anyone else does

Sorry for the derail OP.

Not everyone is that free. I finished work on thurs, bought all presents Friday,wrapped them today then Xmas food shopping tomorrow

Well, we went and did our Christmas shopping today, but had got a lot of hte main presents via Amazon last week.

We did lots of food shopping today too, it was crowded but no one was stropping or tantrumming. It was fine, just a bit busy.

The main bits of food we'll need for Xmas lunch have been ordered and will be provided by our butcher who is opening until 11am tomorrow, so we'll pick that stuff up then. It includes things like milk, cream and bread as well as the bacon, cocktail sausages etc so we're good.

I don't mind shops being rammed. I quite enjoy it and feel very serene wandering through. If you relax into it, it tends not to bother you. Well, that works for me, anyway!

I quite like being badly organised. It makes me feel ALIVE

Lemon Shark - actually I do work with homeless people and I’m well aware that they will always find a way to get drugs / alcohol. I just choose not to use my time and energy that way but to help agencies who offer more wide ranging and different support.

We help people with their homeless application, support them in a tenancy , help them develop life and work skills , provide a street team , help people access health care and continue with treatment, help them escape domestic violence, provide an alternative to rough sleeping.

Funding the next fix or a steadier won’t help these things . I don’t want my tenner to tip the person into the next overdose, beating or stabbing.

Yes people have a right to spend their money as they wish but so do I.

Many many charities and agenicies who work in this field also ask people not to give money directly .

I appreciate you have a different ideological perspective.

I hate to eat food that’s been frozen and then defrosted. I slaughter my own hand reared turkey on Christmas Eve and pick the vegetables I’ve grown myself on my organic farm. I would never eat anything as unnatural and unhealthy as cake, puddings or biscuits. Shame on you OP.

Liney?! You should visit me, you'd feel like king of the world!

this money will almost certainly be spent on alcohol and drugs

So what? If I was homeless I'd want alcohol or drugs too. At least if you give money directly then it doesn't get lost in salaries and tax.

I did all that OP but there is
still stuff I wanted fresh like cheese with a dAte longer than the 31/12, cream, cooked meats, pies.

Which is why I am sat at ho e waiting for Asda who are coming between 4-6 feeling fraught because there is no sign of them and I am going to a wedding in an hour.

I just want to know, where do all the folk you see shopping at Christmas, normally shop?